Yeah, and I just don't understand why he would dump me.

I'm just not ready for this.

Seriously?

2012

2013

2014

1 HOUR EARLIER

Well, I mean, I guess it's the first time

you ever got dumped twice in one day.

I hate guys.

Why can't guys be more like girls?

-Wait, what? -Why can't guys be more like girls?

Are you kidding me?! Girls are the ones who--

Well, first off, Kpop stars.

Secondly, girls are the ones that should be more like guys!

You actually think--

Well, the WNBA.

Yeah.

But you actually think that relationships

would be better if girls were more like guys?

-Uh, yeah. -You're completely wrong.

Well, then. I guess we both know what needs to be done.

A war that has been going on for ages!

A war so brutal that even the gods themselves have--

Will you just get to it?

Guys versus girls.

GUYS VS. GIRLS RELATIONSHIPS

START

You...

shall not pass!

Let's...

combat!

ROUND 1

READY

FIGHT!

Okay, first off, guys are shallow.

Oh, right. This again.

All guys care about is boobs, ass, and tits.

Boobs and tits are the same thing, but--

And how hot a girl looks.

You know, there's way more to us than our exterior.

Yeah, I admit, guys can be a little shallow sometimes.

Told you.

But don't pretend like girls aren't just as shallow.

Oh, please! There's no way!

Okay, then tell me why girls go crazy over guys with nice bodies.

We don't do that!

Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that the reason

why so many girls love Taylor Lautner is because of his acting?

Uh, yeah!

The reason why so many girls love Taylor Lautner...

Okay, fine.

So we like hot bodies. Big deal.

But looks aren't as big of deal to girls as they are to guys.

Yeah, but you girls are the reason for that.

How is this our fault?!

You pretend like you guys don't care about looks,

yet what do you do every single morning?

You put on makeup, sometimes throughout the entire day!

You get your hair done... you care about it so much

that you don't even let us guys crack a window in the car!

-Not to mention shopping! -What about it?

Girls love to go shopping

because they're into buying materialistic things

that make them look good, whether it's a dress

-or shoes or nail paint. -It's polish.

That too.

(announcer) Finish her!

Oh yeah, and don't girls say that the one thing

that a guy should never do is call a girl fat?

Obviously!

Well, you can call guys fat and they usually don't care.

But if you call a girl fat, they get extremely hurt.

You know why? Because girls care that much more

about their physical appearance,

therefore proving that girls are more shallow than guys.

FATALITY!

ROUND 2

READY

FIGHT!

-Alright, here's one. -Go for it.

In a relationship, the girl usually cares way more than the guy.

-Since when? -Okay, well, let's start small!

Remember when I got my haircut earlier this week?

What?

Why are you moving like--?

-Oh! Hair. -What was that?

I said "here".

Fix it with a comb, not your hands!

And why does your hair look so weird today anyway?

Well, at least I noticed it was different, right?

Girls are more caring and you know it.

That was one example and, like I said, shallow!

You're mad because I didn't notice your haircut?

It's not about the haircut!

It's the fact that you didn't care enough to notice a difference.

Just like that one time you came over.

(Ryan) Hey, what up G?

My dog just died.

-It was a hit and run. -Oh.

I'm so sorry.

See, I was thoughtful! I cared!

Just finish the flashback.

-Hey... -Yeah?

Do you have anymore Hot Pockets in the freezer?

No, you're right. I'm so insensitive.

I should just go check it myself.

In my defense, you didn't have any left, so it was kinda even.

Will you stop using those examples?

We're talking about relationships, not us.

-Aah! -Okay, fine.

Well, when it comes to relationships,

breakups show a lot about how much people care.

That's true.

-And, once again, girls care more. -That is prespostperious!

-You mean preposterous? -(sighs) You know what I meant.

Oh yeah?

Look, there's no easy way to say this, but I don't think it's working out.

Huh. What a huge relief.

Alright, then just disregard that last text.

(cellphone goes off)

Ugh!

You can't use that! That never happened.

It's just an example. It happens to girls all the time!

A text breakup? I've never even heard of that.

That sounds made up.

Well, let's just see who takes a breakup harder--the guy or the girl.

Maybe I should call him back. (sniffles)

What if I made a mistake?

I need to call her back.

I left all of my Hot Pockets there.

Psssh!

And after some time passes,

let's see who really cared about the relationship.

(sobbing)

(cellphone rings)

Hello?

Hey, we're all going to the club tonight. You wanna come?

Naw, man. Me and my girl just broke up.

Aw, sorry to hear that, man.

-So, bar then? -Sounds good!

FINISH HIM!

Look, maybe I didn't notice a haircut or two,

and maybe I wasn't as caring as I should have been

-when I accidentally ran over your dog-- -Wait, what?!

But it's only because we get along so well.

You're like a homie.

I've just always treated you like one of the guys

and I guess sometimes I forget that you're a girl too.

-Gee, thanks. -Look, I get it.

Guys have been assholes to you in the past,

but think about all the guys you choose to date.

You know not all guys are like that and, hypothetically speaking,

if we were to ever, for whatever reason, be in a real relationship together,

I wouldn't--I could never do something like

that to someone I care about so much

because that would just be prespostperous.

Look, G, I know that you've been looking everywhere

and I don't understand why you can't seem to find a guy

that can see how amazingly rare you are, but...

maybe you've just been looking in the wrong place.

I guess you're right.

Some guys do care.

Boo-yah! (laughs)

You just admitted it! Guys care more!

That dress does make you look fat!

FAT-ALITY!

I guess when it comes to relationships, guys have the advan--

-Yeah, that was really weird. -Yeah, you're right.

-Let's not do that again. -No, [inaudible].

I think we should just stick to being friends.

What a relief! Disregard that last text.

Last text?

(phone goes off)

Let's just be friends.

Ugh!

TEEHEE

So thank you guys so much for watching!

If you want to see the behind-the-scenes and bloopers,

click the one on the left.

If you want to see the previous video, click the one on the right!

If want to see Bob Marley, and by Bob Marley I mean

my dog Marley bobbing to music, click the one on the bottom!

I--wait. Yeah, that was misleading.