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  • Despite the fervent hashtags on your Twitter feed,

  • Donald Trump is, unfortunately,

  • still officially president-elect,

  • which means two things have to happen.

  • One-- we need more hashtags.

  • (laughter)

  • -Hashtag more hashtags, that's right. -(laughter)

  • Hashtag more, people.

  • And two-- while waiting for the hashtags to work,

  • now might also be a good time to learn

  • what Donald Trump's plans are for the country,

  • because somehow, during an 18-month campaign,

  • -we never actually asked. -(laughter)

  • We never actually asked policy questions.

  • You realize there are so many things we don't know.

  • We don't even know what the "J" in Donald J. Trump stands for.

  • -(laughter) -A lot of people don't know this,

  • but it actually stands

  • (with Spanish pronunciation): for "Jesus," yeah.

  • -(laughter) -It's a lot of self-loathing.

  • But last night, luckily,

  • from deep within King Midas's rectum,

  • Donald Trump finally sat down

  • for his first interview as president-elect.

  • And I think it was fitting that he went with 60 Minutes,

  • because this sound...

  • (clock ticking)

  • -...sounded like America was running out of time. -(laughter)

  • On election night, I heard you went completely silent.

  • Was it a sort of

  • -realization... -I think so.

  • -...of the enormity of this thing for you? -I think so.

  • It's enormous.

  • I've done a lot of big things.

  • I've never done anything like this.

  • It is... it is so big.

  • It is so, um...

  • It's so enormous. It's so amazing.

  • Kind of just took your breathe away, couldn't talk.

  • A little bit, a little bit.

  • And I think, um, I realized

  • that this is a whole different life for me now.

  • Well, now you know how we feel, Donald.

  • (laughter)

  • You're really surprised

  • that the job of president of the United States of America

  • is mildly different from selling real estate and meat?

  • -You're surprised by that? -(laughter)

  • "This is a whole different life for me now."

  • After applying for the job for two years,

  • you shouldn't approach it with the same amount of wonder

  • that Jasmine did in Aladdin.

  • -That's not what you do. -(laughter)

  • Trump's there like,

  • ♪ A whole different life for me now

  • No one to tell me no or where to go. ♪

  • -(laughter) -Now don't get me wrong.

  • Don't get me wrong.

  • I'm not saying that Donald Trump should downplay the gravity

  • of the job of president, but it would be nice

  • if he had an inkling of what he actually had to do.

  • Because I get it.

  • The peopled wanted someone fresh.

  • And if the people wanted someone who could have come in

  • and known how to dot job right away,

  • they would have elected Hillary Clinton.

  • Instead, we got someone who walks around The White House

  • like a toddler at a space museum.

  • -(like toddler): "What's this? What's this?" -(laughter)

  • "What's this? Can I push it?

  • I like this statue."

  • (imitating man): "Uh, sir, that's Mike Pence."

  • -"Oh." -(laughter)

  • Because, um, correct me if I'm wrong.

  • If you had just become president of the United States,

  • and leader of the free world,

  • what is the one thing you might no longer be focused on?

  • Are you going to be tweeting, and...

  • whatever you're upset about, just put out there?

  • -So... -When you're president?

  • It's a modern form of communication.

  • Between Fa... you know, Facebook and Twitter,

  • and I guess Instagram, I have 28 million people.

  • -28 million people. -So you are going to keep it up?

  • I think I picked up yesterday 100,000 people.

  • -Who is this guy? -(laughter)

  • He's bragging that he picked up 100,000 followers yesterday?

  • No, dude, you're going to be president of the United States.

  • -You picked up 300 million followers. -(laughter)

  • And we can't block, mute or unfollow you.

  • But we can still troll you, and we are going to troll you hard.

  • (applause and cheering) -Hashtag, #hashtagmore.

  • Hashtag #hashtagmore.

  • Now one of the reasons this interview was so important

  • is that since Trump's victory,

  • America has been grappling with the reported rise

  • in hate crimes against Muslims, Hispanics, black people,

  • basically everyone not wearing a red cap.

  • But it appears that Donald Trump has been so consumed

  • with Twitter that he hasn't had a chance to check Twitter.

  • LESLEY STAHL: Mr. Trump said he had not heard about some of

  • the acts of violence that are popping up in his name.

  • I'm very surprised to hear that. I would...

  • -STAHL: Telling Muslims... -I hate to hear that.

  • I mean, I hate to hear that.

  • -But you do hear it. -I don't hear it.

  • Do you want to say anything to those people?

  • I would say, don't do it. That's terrible.

  • I am so... saddened to hear that.

  • And I say stop it if it... if it helps.

  • I will say this, and I'll say it right to the camera.

  • Stop it.

  • (laughter)

  • "Now... frisk it."

  • (laughter)

  • Donald Trump is truly a genius, people, 'cause I can tell you,

  • whatever I was doing, when I saw this, I stopped.

  • (laughter)

  • Maybe... maybe that's his secret plan to beat ISIS.

  • He's just gonna look them in the camera and say "ISIS, stop it."

  • (laughter)

  • -"Illegal immigrants, stop it." -(laughter)

  • -"Stop signs, you do you..." -(laughter)

  • "...which involves stopping it."

  • I think it's nice

  • that Donald Trump denounced hate crimes performed in his name.

  • But why do I feel like he's going to find out

  • what it it's like to tell someone to stop,

  • but they still keep going, you know?

  • And as an immigrant,

  • it's obvious that I would be wary of Donald Trump.

  • And as a black person, it's obvious

  • that I would be wary of Donald Trump.

  • But after this interview, I feel like there's a new group

  • who should be worried about the Trump presidency,

  • and that's Donald Trump supporters.

  • Because he built his entire campaign on three main things:

  • build a wall, lock her up,

  • drain the swamp.

  • Phrases that sound less like a campaign promise

  • and more like options in a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

  • But still, a lot of people voted for Donald Trump

  • because of those promises.

  • Especially "build a wall."

  • If he was Michael Jackson, the wall was his Thriller.

  • And just like Michael Jackson,

  • he's starting to moonwalk away from it.

  • Are you really gonna build a wall?

  • -Yes. -They're talking about a fence

  • -in the Republican congress. -Sure.

  • -Would you accept a fence? -Uh...

  • for certain areas, I would.

  • I'm sorry, wait, wh... wait, what just happened there?

  • Did that guy just negotiate himself from a wall to a fence?

  • What just happened there? No, no, no, I'm sorry.

  • Because as a Trump supporter,

  • I would not be impressed with that.

  • I signed up for a wall!

  • No one talks about the "great fence of China."

  • No one talks about the great series

  • of barrier restrictions of China. No!

  • We want a wall!

  • Imagine Mexico. Mexico must be like, "Yo,

  • "our currency crashed because of that wall.

  • You better build it, man!"

  • Humpty Dumpty's like, "What the (bleep), Donald!

  • "I can't sit on a fence!

  • I'm not Paul Ryan!"

  • (laughter, cheering)

  • -(applause) -Oh, and...

  • and by the way, by the way, if you voted for Trump

  • because you thought that no matter what

  • he would send Hillary to prison, well, uh, bad news, bro.

  • Are you going to ask for a special prosecutor

  • to investigate Hillary Clinton over her e-mails?

  • Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

  • I'm gonna think about it. She did some bad things.

  • -I mean, she did ... -I know, but a special prosecutor?

  • -I don't want to hurt them. -Do you think you might...

  • I don't want to hurt them.

  • They're-they're good people.

  • (laughter, groans)

  • W-Wait. The Clintons are good people?

  • Good people? Not neutral people.

  • Good people. Not even, like, okay people.

  • You went straight to good people...

  • from this?

  • Hillary Clinton...

  • commonly referred to as "Crooked Hillary..."

  • She's crooked as a three-dollar bill.

  • She should be in prison.

  • She's the queen of corruption.

  • She's a disaster.

  • She's a dangerous liar...

  • -She's the devil. -She's a monster.

  • (laughter)

  • Wow. From "the devil" to "good people."

  • That must have been one hell of a fruit basket she sent him.

  • (laughter)

  • Damn, Donald.

  • Donald Trump got elected based on a lot of campaign promises,

  • and less than a week later he's dropping them

  • like they're a woman who just turned 45.

  • -(laughter, groans) -If you... if you voted

  • for Trump's wall...

  • now there's a good chance you may not be getting it.

  • If you voted about Hillary Clinton,

  • well, that she-devil is set to roam free.

  • But at least there's still one thing

  • Donald Trump also promised his people--

  • to crack down on the corruption--

  • lobbyists, who he said were running Washington, remember?

  • "Drain the swamp."

  • Your own transition team is filled with lobbyists.

  • It's the only people you have down there.

  • Everybody's a lobbyist down there.

  • That's what they are-- they're lobbyists

  • -to special interests. -On your own transition team.

  • We're trying to clean up Washington. Look...

  • -How can you clean... -Everything...

  • everything down there... there are no people.

  • We're doing a lot of things to clean up the system,

  • but everybody that works for government,

  • they then leave government

  • and they become a lobbyist, essentially.

  • I mean, the whole place, it's one big lobbyist.

  • (laughs): Get the (bleep) out of here, man.

  • No, you promised, you promised that you would rid Washington

  • of special interests influence. You said that.

  • You said you would "drain the swamp."

  • Now you're bringing the swamp into the White House?

  • How is that fixing the problem? It's like...

  • it's like if your toilet was backed up,

  • so you hire a guy to come to your house to unclog it.

  • He takes a look, and then he goes, "Hmm, hmm.

  • "There's, uh, too much (bleep) in this toilet.

  • "We need to drain this toilet.

  • "There's only one way to fix this.

  • Mmm... mmm... mmm..."

  • (applause, laughter)

  • -(cheering) -And you know what's crazy is...

  • you're looking at him like, hey, man,

  • you just made it worse! What kind of a plumber are you?

  • And he's like (like Trump): Who said I was a plumber?

  • I'm an outsider.

Despite the fervent hashtags on your Twitter feed,

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デイリーショー - ドナルド・トランプ氏の選挙後の妥協点 (The Daily Show - Donald Trump's Post-Election Compromises)

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    alex に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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