Name: 人がデートで作る最大の間違い (The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T06:36:44.000Z
Duration: 9 min 36 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

動名詞

There's one thing that ruins budding relationships

未来形

and today I'm going to tell some of my stories

starts talking about how they want to marry you

and what they're going to name their kids.

But maybe you've experienced the lighter side which is

you sent a text to someone you like and then

you find yourself checking, you're checking,

Whether it's big or small, neediness can ruin relationships

and that's why I want to talk about three of the most

common instances that you might be experiencing

and how to deal with them because quite frankly,

this is the one that ruins the relationships

is in contacting the person every single day

and I will never forget how I learned this —

Way back in undergraduate, I was in my second year

and a friend of mine connected me with a girl

girl that I wound up liking and the story behind it

was that this girl actually had a crush on me

Hungout on Thursday night, had a lot of fun,

and by the end of the night, I was smitten.

Her plans fell through — we didn't wind up meeting up.

I'm gonna invite her out again Saturday."

So it's Saturday, I said, "Hey let's go out,"

and she said, "Okay let me let you know maybe we can do it,"

So I'm thinking, "Okay she definitely likes me,"

so what I did is I've invited her out on Sunday.

and she wrote back some sort of middling response

and by the time that I went to ask my friend

she said, "It's over. You blew it. It's too late ,"

And I tell you this story so that you realize

in between seeing someone that you really like.

Now, you can put an artificial amount of time in there

that is a service level thing like saying,

"Okay, I'm going to wait three days — people have different rules,"

but the better truth is to feel your time with things that you like.

So especially after you were maybe to go on a date and it fell through,

make sure the next night you do something awesome.

It could be if that's the way you want to go

but maybe just something that you love to do, a movie that you like,

spending time with friends — especially when you feel yourself

getting very invested in someone that you don't know that well,

go back to the things you love and make sure you're doing them

because if not, you're going to go all in on that person

So the second thing that comes up that I see

Now, you might be thinking, "Okay, clearly I don't beg, I don't plead,

and I haven't done that," but it's more common than you think.

When I say begging, what I mean is you invite someone out,

you say, "Hey would you like to go tonight?" and they say,

"I'm sorry I've got this thing that I need to do,"

and rather than saying, "Okay cool, we'll do it later,"

you say, "Come on, it's gonna be so much fun. You know you want to.

Like, just cancel those plans, it will be great."

And I've done this, absolutely, I have friends who have done this.

But while this seems fun and cheeky the truth is

you're putting them in a position where they

are guaranteed basically to like you less.

This is not cute because what it forces them to do

is to say no to you and the way that our brains work

is we find ourselves saying no, no no, to someone

even if we like them, part of us goes, "Okay, why am I say no to them?

I must not be interested," plus you're asking them to devalue

their own time so that they can invest in you

which tells them that's what you would do for them

which is the crux of neediness — this is you not valuing your own time

The appropriate answer — here as long as it inflate last minute

and it's not a terrible thing where they just like stood you up

after we bought some really expensive tickets or something

but the appropriate thing is just be cool, have fun,

and then make plans several days later — very simple.

The third thing here and this is one, again, that I have very personal

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人がデートで作る最大の間違い (The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating)

absolutely

compromise

effort

experience