- I think it's 18 years. - 18 years.

- Yeah, that's a long time. - It is a long time.

It's a--it's a nice amount of time.

- Yeah. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

- But the reason I bring it up is--

and I do believe in love at first sight,

and knowing that someone is the partner

that you should share your life with,

and you--I mean, after like 20 days or something,

you were--you decided, right?

- No, actually, after three days,

he turned to me-- and we were in bed,

as you are after three days--

[audience laughter]

and he said--he said, "Cate..."

And I thought, "[bleep], he's going to ask me to marry him

and I'm gonna have to say yes."

And then he said, you know, "I'm hungry.

Do you want to go get something to eat?"

[audience laughter]

But then he asked me after about 21 days,

and I said yes.

I cooked him the worst meal.

I somehow decided that to stuff a trout with walnuts

and goat's cheese would be a good idea.

He ate it and then he asked me to marry him,

so clearly, he was, I don't know, hallucinating,

but, yeah. [audience laughter]

He realized I couldn't cook.

- So the whole "trick to the man's heart

is through his stomach" was not true at all, because--

- No, you give them food poisoning, they're delirious,

- I see. - And then you got 'em.

- Ah, you tricked him! - I tricked him.

- Why would you think that that was a good idea?

Did you just make that up in your head,

walnuts and goat cheese inside of a trout?

- It was all I had in the fridge, and then--

- What about just the trout by itself, without the--

- No, but I wanted to do something special.

- Mm, and you did. - I did, yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah, but we didn't like each other for a long time.

- Well, how long did you-- - About 17 years.

No, we didn't-- we knew each other socially

and we didn't really get on, and then--

- And then you slept together, and that changed?

- It did, yeah. [audience laughter]

- You're like, "I don't like you.

" We should sleep together and see

if we really don't like each other."

- It worked.

And then I fed him the trout and he was mine.

- No, but seriously, how do you go from not liking each other

for a long time--if you really genuinely didn't like him,

why would you even entertain--

- But he didn't like me as well. Like, the feeling was mutual.

- But that's what I'm saying-- - So we mutually

shifted over to--

- But what--what was the thing that all of a sudden--

Was it--I'm sure alcohol-- but what was the thing--

[audience laughter]

- No, there wasn't actually any alcohol

Oh, no, there was alcohol involved.

Alcohol and gambling.

And then we got tattooed, and it's been--

[audience laughter]

Anyway, have we got another clip that we can--

[audience laughter]

Otherwise I'm going to start pulling my underwear out

and doing something-- What is it about you...

- What? - That I sit here,

and suddenly I'm-- [clears throat]

- Well, you're not telling us anything--

- That the rest of--what?

- You volunteered that you were in bed on your third date.

I didn't bring that out.

[audience laughter] That was you on your own.

- I know, but you're like some kind of Jungian therapist.

- Yes. - I should be lying down.

- Lay down.

[audience laughter]

- All right, let's talk about the movie.

- This is going nowhere. - All right.

- No, it would definitely go somewhere.

- I'm married! - [audience laughter]

[audience laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- Every time you're here you tell me that!

[applause]

Every time you're here you tell me you're married.

- I know. [audience laughter]

[audience laughter]

- I'm married, too! - I know! Okay!

So what do you go--yeah.

- So let's leave each other alone.

All right. [audience laughter]