-Ah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

KERMIT (OFFSCREEN): We are the Muppets--

-(SINGING) Hello, hello, hello, hello.

KERMIT (OFFSCREEN): And these are our biggest fans.

-Yeah!

Are you excited for our big trip to LA?

-I think there's somebody coming.

KERMIT (OFFSCREEN): Excuse me--

-Good grief.

NARRATOR: Disney presents--

-You guys are so talented.

-Check it out: fart shoes!

[FART NOISES]

NARRATOR: The biggest event in Hollywood history.

-The Muppets Spectacular!

Yay!

-That is awesome!

NARRATOR: There is just one problem--

-I'm going to shoot straight.

You guys aren't famous anymore.

-Yeesh!

I wish she'd shot a little more curvy!

-Let's just start at the bottom and work our way back

up to the top.

-Can't you see I'm busy?

-Come on guys, let's go!

NARRATOR: Step one.

-Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

-Yes, I am.

NARRATOR: Tour the world.

-We should travel by map.

-To Paris!

-[GASPING]

NARRATOR: Step two.

Rehearse the show.

-I'm doing a duet with my new dance partner.

-Hola.

MISS PIGGY (OFFSCREEN): Let's try that lift again, shall we?

-Oi, that lift again.

OK.

On my count this time, OK?

In three, two--

[CRASH]

NARRATOR: Step-- uh--

final.

-I believe in you, and you, and you, and well, all of you!

-Aw.

-And now, singing chickens.

[CLUCKING SONG]

NARRATOR: Make the most sensitive--

[EXPLOSION]

NARRATOR: --distinguished--

-Prepare yourselves for head bowling!

-What?

I have not signed off on this!

NARRATOR: --celebrity filled--

-Phenomena!

NARRATOR: --and sophisticated Muppet movie ever made.

-Ah!

NARRATOR: Ever.

-Have a seat.

-Thank you!

-I think I'll stand.

MUPPET (OFFSCREEN): Comfy.

NARRATOR: This Thanksgiving--

-Is this movie in 3D?

-Nope.

The Muppets are as one dimensional as

they've always been.

-Hey!

Watch it!

NARRATOR: Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Kermit the Frog, Miss

Piggy, and introducing the newest muppet, Walter.

And the Moopets!

-Heh, heh.

[SNORT]

-Watka, watka.

-You've been replaced.

-Oh yeah?

What's that over there?

-Oh, what?

[PUNCH]

-Argh!

NARRATOR: The Muppets.

-Save Muppets!

Save Muppets!

[CLUCKING]