Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses and all the king's men

couldn't put Humpty together again. The end!

But that makes for a very short, boring nonsensical story!

Let's try that again, shall we?

Ahhem!!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

and narrowly avoided having a great fall because all the king's horses and all

the kings men said

"Don't sit on that wall, it's windy my friend!"

Humpty-Dumpty considered their words and realized sitting atop walls is absurd!

He carefully climbed down 'til his feet touched the ground and "King of Safety"

Humpty-Dumpty was crowned.

Humpty-Dumpty worked at a pace that was brisk

He made signs, he made rules, helping all avoid risk.

Don't sit there! Don't stand there! Be careful up high!

He ordered, he pestered, and he wasn't shy.

Eventually the people had all had enough.

His signs and his rules prevented fun stuff!

Where there's something to do or some place to go,

Humpty-Dumpty placed warnings and they all said, "NO!"

"But I wanna jump over this candle stick!"

"I promise I'm nimble, I swear that I'm quick!"

"But my family needs water. I must fill this pail!"

"My sister, Jill, and I surely won't fail."

Soon, all the king's horses and all the king's men

Grew tired of the rules and wanted an end!

So while Humpty slept,

though it took them some time,

they went around the kingdom

and changed a few signs.

At dawn, Humpty-Dumpty awoke with a smirk.

He walked around the town to see all his work.

When walking about proved tiring and hot,

he needed to sit and soon found a safe spot.

So Humpty then sat on that very same wall

and when the wind blew, he had a great fall!

All the king's horses and all the king's men

would never have to listen to Humpty again.

But when Humpty landed, hard on the ground..

He didn't break! Instead he bounced up...

and down!

Bouncing, not broken?! What was the matter?

He's an egg after all, he should splatter and shatter!!

The king's horses and men were all quite confused

While Humpty kept on bouncing.. looking quite amused.

Their plan to get rid of Humpty Dumpty had been foiled..

because, children, to be safe...

he had himself...

hard-boiled.

Always hard boil your eggs, children.

Always!

The end!