A2 初級 18571 タグ追加 保存
Hey guys, so one of the most common questions I get all the time is:
"Hey, Ryan. Are you single?"
And for the past two years, I've been giving you guys the same answer:
And then I get a whole bunch of comments that are like
And honestly, I appreciate it. It is so flattering, it makes me feel good right here.
On my boob.
But to be honest guys, you have no idea what it's like to date someone like me.
There is a reason why I've been single for so long.
I probably have every single quality of the worst boyfriend.
I am the opposite of romantic. I am the epitome, of un-romance... tic...
Surprise, happy anniversary!
Oh, thanks...
What's wrong?
Nothing, but I mean, most couples get each other flowers or roses.
Flowers are useless, they just die.
But a razor?
You needed one, right?
Then why are your legs been so sandpaper-y lately?
And you did need the toothpaste because I've been using yours to preserve mine.
But what about the cactus?
It's for the bathroom to remind you something about your poky legs.
Whether I'm wrong or I'm right, I have to win every single argument. Even if I'm wrong.
I didn't know the biggest animal in the world was a blue whale?!
No it's not. It's an Onix.
You're so cute when you're stupid.
I'm reading it right here.
Then it's wrong!
Why do you always have to argue with me?
Why do you always have to argue with me?
You're being really immature right now.
You're immature.
You can't just copy what I say!
You can.
1-0 Ryan.
Also I can be very controlling
No, you can't go.
It's just a family dinner!
Are there gonna be any guys there?
Well, is your dad going?
He is.
I'm so hurt right now.
I get jealous very easily.
This hummus is good. I love it!
Then why don't you just marry it then?!
I always leave the toilet seat up.
Hey, honey, could you start putting the toilet seat down when you're done?
Well then could you start putting it UP when you're done?
2-0 Ryan.
And the worst quality of all, and probably the main reason why I'm still single
is because I tend to overreact.
Just a little bit.
I'm gonna miss you.
Do you have to go?
You already know though.
Well, have a safe flight.
Have a safe flight?
Have a safe flight?!
How dare you put that kinda pressure on me?
I'm not the pilot, I can't control the safety of my own plane!
No, no! I——
Let alone the entire flight!
You know sometimes, you can be really insensitive.
Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little bit.
But we all know that everyone has these qualities, at least to a certain degree.
Because as we all know, nobody is perfect.
Whether you think it's your favorite celebrity, or YouTubers,
or a new boyfriend or girlfriend that you have been dating for the past months,
they are all just as messed up as you are.
Because we're all humans.
And the trick is not to find the perfect person,
but for the perfect person...
...to find the trick.
Anyway, if you're in a relationship, or if you're single,
no matter what, I just wanna let you guys know that I——
I just saw your video, and you're right.
How? I'm still filming it.
No one is perfect, and I forgive you.
Because... I still love you.
One sec.
Oh yeah, and I forgot to tell you guys,
I have a really hard time saying "I love you" to people.
Me too.
I just told you I love you and you can't even say it back to me?
I said me too, I love me too.
You know what? Just forget it.
I can't believe I wasted all this time on you.
Goodbye, Ryan.
And have fun finding someone that can put up with you.
And I could still hear her words, echoing in my head, as if it just happened yesterday
"And have fun finding someone that can put up with you."
And that's when I realized, I could not, would not, shan't not let things end like this.
You have fun finding someone that can put up with you.
3-0 Ryan.


The Worst Boyfriend Ever

18571 タグ追加 保存
kath_chaste 2017 年 7 月 31 日 に公開
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