J: Sugar has such great ears they're like wings!

H: Do you know who has the worst prescription?

J: I do, definitely. H: Is it me or is it you?

J: No, it's definitely me

J: Well I know who's glasses are dirtier!

H: No that is incorrect!

J: Yeah no, it's mine.

H: Oh, yes.

J: I don't need to clean them.

I can see right through all of my fingerprints.

H: You actually look really good in my-- J: Thank you!

A: Hey! Guys, sorry when we asked you to to collaborate we thought we would all do

the video together...

G: This is so awkward.

J: Yeah it's more of a two-person couch. H: It's a small couch.

♪ (jazzy music) ♪

A: This week! We have a

♪ - A: international question ♪ ♪ - J: international viewer ♪

J: Sorry question.

A: you don't watch the show! J: I do..!

♪ international question! ♪

A: Rosie! London!

G: What did she ask?

A: I'm getting there!

A: (to John) Does he criticize you?

J: Not really... H: That's not true.

A: Our international viewer wants to know: "Are you an Allison or a Gaby?"

H: Wait which ones which? J: [laughs]

G: Wow...

A: Well you're clearly a Gaby [everyone laughs]

J: Okay we're going to do it on three.

H: We're gonna say who we are... J: Who we are.

Together: 1, 2, 3...

J: Allison. / H: Gaby. A: Allison!

[everyone laughs]

A: Here's my question: are you guys upset about who you are?

J: No, I'm delighted.

H: Me too.

A: REALLY?!?

J: I'm very happy to be an Allison.

G: Okay, yes-

A: THAT'S AMAZING!

J: Well, Allision and I have a lot in common, we both have OCD.

A: Yes.

J: You look A LOT like my spouse.

H: You do.

H: You're both...We're the blondes, you're the brunettes.

G: Yeah!

A: Yeah.

H: We're the hot ones.

G: YES, OH MY GOD.

J: We're the smart ones.

A: Yes! Oh I love this.

G: This is perfect. I'm so happy to hear Hank also agree that we are the hot ones.

A: I get a lot of comments that are: I'm an Allison but I wish I was a Gaby.

J: No, I love being an Allison. I'm so grateful to be an Allison.

Like, there's big upsides to Allison-ness.

A: PLEASE tell me what they are.

J: You're smart, independent, you're extremely, like, process driven. And like

committed and focused and you finish stuff. And I really...I...that's...I love

that about you.

H: Your house is very clean.

A: Wow, guys!

H: I'm more of a Gaby, I'm not saying I want to be a Gaby...

G: WOAH. H: ...or that being a Gaby is so great.

J+A: OOOOHHH

J: So you wish you were an Allison? And who could blame you?

G: What are the characteristics that we share?

H: We like Snapchat.

J: Allison and I hate Snapchat. A: Yeah, we hate Snapchat.

H: It's basically like my primary way of.. Like, my favourite thing in the world.

G: Yeah!

A: You think people watch it?

H: It's kind of- G: THEY DO WATCH IT!

A: BUT WHO?

A:My problem with it is that it goes away.

J:On the other hand, everything goes away.

H: It's true.

A: Well, right, you are an Allison.

G: That was a very Allison thing to say, yeah.

H: I feel bad about saying that I feel bad about being a...because of course I like

being a Gaby.

J: Well what do you like about being a Gaby? You still haven't said anything

other than Snapchat.

G: Hold on. What else about being a Gaby? I just wanna hear more things about myself

A: Yeah.

A: Are you a narcissist?

H: Can we talk about me some?

G: Yeah, please!

H: So I ---

A: Do you believe in past lives?

H: I have a pain in my back, and I think it's because I was killed with a sword

once.

A: [That's a] Gaby.

A: Does Hank do this thing where, he'll tell a story and, like, he'll express his

feelings and it will like...and you'll listen and you'll be like: yes of course.

A: And then he just starts telling it again, immediately afterward.

J: Yeah, like an unprocessed... yeah.

A: And just, like, says all the things again like, maybe with a little different

wording. J: Right, right.

J: Somehow there's this idea that the best way for me to process this story is to

tell it to you 8 consecutive times. A: Yes! Exactly.

H: I need...we...you need to be there for your friends.

J: And I am. A: And I am.

A: But how many times?

G: But do you know what's not nice?

G: When your best friend goes "I've heard this!"

J:I'm a pretty good listener. Hank is also a good listener though, I'd have to say.

H: I know. G: I'm a good listener. (A: Sometimes)

H: The trick to being a good listener is to be on the phone, but also on Tumblr.

J: That's the trick to being the worst listener of all.

A: But they think that they're good, that's what it is!

J: I cannot tell you how many times I've been talking to Hank about something

that's extremely important about Crash Course or whatever and I'll be like:

"So do you agree?" And he'll be like "Yeah," and I'll be like "You agree with

me that there are purple elephants inside of my office right now?"

G: She always adds "And then I went to space" and I go "I was listening!"

G: Were you guys always this way, or did you grow up to be this, like was it always

like you're the more like studious one, and you're the hot one or what was it?

(John and Hank laugh)

J: I wasn't as disciplined until I became an adult. Hank was actually pretty

disciplined in school.

H: I have always been-- G: I did good in school!

J: Well, you did well in school. A: I did great.

G: I did...okay in school. I got in trouble a lot for running my mouth.

J: Yeah. G: Does that sound familiar to anybody?

J: Mmm, I got in trouble a lot for smoking cigarettes.

G: Oooohhhhh. A: That is not Allison.

A:I've never even tried a cigarette, kids.

J: Really? A: Never. (J: They're great)

H: I've never tried a cigarette either. J+A: Really?

J: Suddenly feeling a little Gaby.

H: (to Allison) Have you ever done acid? G: And that is why the show is relatable!

A: NO, I've never done acid, Hank! (Hank starts laughing)

♪ (jazzy music) ♪

J: Can't put that in the video. G: Ohhh. (A: That's--)

J: (repeats) can't put that in the video. Find a nice cut-in space...

H: Every-- J: ...because none of this is going in.

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