sent letters to video game magazines - and you certainly had your pick back in the 90’s

- asking the same question: When will Mario and Sonic be in the same game? And these people,

answering these letters... these adults whose calling it was to yammer on about video games,

always offered the same advice:

Ain’t gonna happen, kid.

Now I find myself, an adult, whose calling it is to yammer on about video games. And

four years ago, a game happened that left me flabbergasted. Well before Smash Bros.

Brawl, and kicking off a chain of engagements that shows no sign of slowing, we had Mario

and Sonic at the Olympic Games. It should be mentioned that these are the 2008 Olympics

in Beijing, as, at the time, the idea was so novel as to need no further explanation:

Take Mr. Number 1 in video games, Add Mr. Number 2 in video games, and have them compete

in the greatest sports spectacular in the world. And then, in 2010 for the Winter Olympics

in Vancouver, they did it again, and for the 2012 games in London, they did it again. But

here’s where it all started.

There are 24 events, ranging from simple track and field, swimming events, fencing, table

tennis, and then some weird Dream events that play less like an olympic game and more like

Mario Kart. Each of the game’s 16 contestants - 8 Nintendo, 8 Sega - have particular strengths

and weaknesses, though these innate stats have significantly less weight over your results

than your ability to navigate the wild and oftentimes irrational controls. Just for example,

there are five different kinds of swimming strokes. Five. And each has its own flavor

of waggle.

Yes, you’ve got plenty of waggling to do, and about half the time you spend playing

is used in hooking up and disconnecting the nunchuck. Some games use it, some give you

the option of using it, and some require it not be used, making the whole experience a

little schizophrenic. However, the majority of the action makes at least some sense: point

and shoot for skeet events, table tennis works like you’d expect it should, with options

for chop and smash shots, and fencing... well, that kinda just works out to “stab with

the Wiimote as fast as possible.” But you can’t win ‘em all. Unless you’re Michael

Phelps.

Also included is a circuit mode, for playing three-event sets, and a mission mode, where

six challenges await for each character. Unfortunately, some of these are rather stupid... “land

a javelin within 40 to 50 meters, when your average contest-winning throw is 80 to 90.

What does hamstringing yourself prove? These are the Olympics; they’re supposed to be

about achievement, not sucking on command. Besides, who wants to be the one to tell Yoshi

that, though he was just shy of setting a new Olympic record for speed, he in fact completed

the race three hundredths of a second too fast, so no star for him.

It’s an entertaining little diversion, produced with care by Sega (probably because Nintendo

were breathing down their necks the whole time). The two giants (one less so than at

the time) have set aside their differences, in the spirit of the Olympic games, and have

done fairly well for themselves. But just like world-record times, there’s always

room for improvement.