What I'm hearing is The Sims.

Exactly! But... prison Sims!

Hi guys and welcome to Rosie and I's review of

Orange is the New Black Season 3!

(French accent) Orange is the new Noir.

Okay, where do you wanna start? Do you wanna start with... ooo...

Character analysis? Or do you wanna start with... ooo...

-Plot synopsis? -Plot synopsis!

-One thing I was mildly disappointed with... -Yeah.

In the first episode, there wasn't enough Piper.

But what I will say... is that I don't think I like her anymore!

I personally, this is just my own opinion,

I never liked Piper. From series 1 I didn't like her.

She's self-involved, she's manipulative...

She annoys me how she plays dumb, but then she's read all these books

It's like uggghhh... I hate people like you!

If we were at school, you'd be the popular and annoying girl, and I'd also be the popular and annoying girl,

but you'd be more annoying than me. Ugghhh!

Everyone had their periods at the same time.

-Did they all sync up prison-style? -That's what they said.

...I see.

-Sassy, Latino... -Gloria.

-Not the mum, her sister who runs the kitchen. -Gloria!

She was being, like, sassy to one of the girls,

and she was like, "Do you got your period today?"

"Do you got your period"... note to self, that's prison talk.

Yeah, and she was like "yeah", and she was like "yeah, same here",

and then they insinuated that Gloria also had her period.

Everyone in Litchfield Prison can sync up, why haven't we? It's been four years...

Well, what's the keen on Ruby Rose? Let's talk about Ruby Rose...

She's butch, but she's really sexy with it... but she's also butch with it.

But is she really sexy with it?

I thought she was, but I didn't like her character

-I think her character was shit. -No, I love her accent,

down with it.

Oh, wasn't it a bit racist that they called the Australian one Stella?

That is racist, isn't it?

Is it racist? Or is it more racist that you kept on calling her Australia

through the entire season!

"Piper's gonna end up with Australia!" "Ooo, Australia's doing the panty business!"

"Australia's gonna take her money!" "Fuck you, Australia."

This is how it happened, this is the build-up between Piper and Australia

in that one episode that it took them to kiss.

(Australian accent) "When you know someone's into you, you just kinda know..."

And then she was like, "but I don't know!"

So, Red, and Healy... I ship it.

Is Alex dead... I don't think they're gonna kill her off.

I reckon she's gonna hold her own, I reckon she's gonna cut that guy

and, maybe even get more time, because think about it Rosie!

Netflix needs to extend their sentences!

Piper just cheated on her, and get beat up, and called her paranoid.

She's really nasty, I don't think they're gonna get back together.

You're right...

Yeah, and they had lesbian bed death.

They did have lesbian bed death...

-Yeah, very scary subject... -You're really scared about this, aren't you?

I'm scared it's gonna happen one day...

Rosie's really scared because Piper and Alex suffered from lesbian bed death

but Rosie and I are gonna really suffer from it

and Rosie hasn't stopped talking about it since Netflix introduced this to our lives

-So... -Basically I've been like,

let's keep having sex so we don't have lesbian bed death.

So thanks, Netflix. ;)

Alright Rosie, so, out of all the lesbian youtubers

-Right. -Or youtubers,

we're not exclusive here,

-Okay, any youtubers... -Who would be who,

in Litchfield Woman's Prison?

Okay, I'm gonna name some, and you've gotta say who they would be.

Let's start with... Hannah Hart.

Hannah Hart would be Ruby Rose.

Tyler Oakley... would be Taystee.

Why?!

Because they're both so cheerful.

Shannon would be Ruby Rose.

Who would Shannon be...

Shannon would be...

She might be perfection.

Ally Hills.

Oh, I feel like if Stevie's the Latino girl with the tear,

no I feel like that's Ally, and Stevie's her friend.

Sister?

Are they sisters?

-I don't know, are they sisters? -I think they're not.

What I've learned, is that it's okay to cheat on your girlfriend, as long as you're in prison.

Yeah, that's what I've learned.

What if we were in prison together and I cheated on you?

Hang on, Alex doesn't know... that Piper cheated on her

so if she's alive, she doesn't know. She's suspected it,

but she never saw them get it on.

Oh, so she's gonna escape death by the skin of her teeth then realise

that her stupid, bitch girlfriend is already sleeping with Justin Bieber.

Okay guys that was our review of Orange is the New Black Season 3

make sure you like, comment and subscribe

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I'm gonna show you how to sign off a video, okay?

Even if you're (???), okay, ready?

Okay bye guys, see you soon, take care

-So great to see you... -BYYYYEEEEE

Are you really interrupting my bit?

I married you for a reason, this was not one of them.

Seriously though, who the heck ships Red and Healy?!