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  • WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY, AND WE'RE STILL

  • TALKING ABOUT IT TODAY, EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT

  • YESTERDAY'S CLOSED DOOR MEETING BETWEEN SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

  • PAUL RYAN AND SPEAKER OF THE MOUTH DONALD TRUMP.

  • EVERYBODY.

  • ALL THE REPUBLICANS ARE SAYING IT WENT GREAT.

  • BUT BRING THE REPUBLICAN PARTY TOGETHER IS GOING TO BE A SLOW

  • PROCESS BECAUSE PAUL RYAN STRESSED THAT "IT'S VERY

  • IMPORTANT WE DON'T FAKE UNIIFYING."

  • OKAY, YEAH.

  • PAUL RYAN DOESN'T WANT TO FAKE IT AND TRUMP IS HAVING TROUBLE

  • FINDING THE G.O.P. SPOT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • I HEAR IT'S A MYTH.

  • I HEAR-- >> Jon: HEY, HEY!

  • >> Stephen: I HEAR THE G.O.P.

  • SPOT IS A MYTH.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BESIDES, PEOPLE CAN SMELL FAKE

  • UNITY A MILE AWAY, WHETHER IT'S THE REUNITED GUNS N' ROSES OR

  • POST-CIVIL-WAR AMERICA.

  • IT DOESN'T-- WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING IN THE NEWS?

  • WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING.

  • OH, RIGHT, DONALD TRUMP.

  • ACCORDING TO THE "WASHINGTON POST," BACK IN THE EARLY 90s HE

  • WOULD CALL NEWS ORGANIZATIONS PRETENDING TO BE HIS OWN

  • PUBLICIST TO BRAG ABOUT HIMSELF, HE HID BEHIND A FAKE NAME.

  • IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS A TIME WHEN DONALD TRUMP

  • WAS ASHAMED TO SAY HOW TREMENDOUS HE IS.

  • THE "WASHINGTON POST" SAYS THEY HAVE RECORDINGS OF MULTIPLE

  • CALLS FROM "PUBLIC RELATIONS MEN WHO SOUND PRECISELY LIKE TRUMP

  • HIMSELF GOING BY THE NAME OF JOHN MILLER AND SOMETIMES JOHN

  • BARON.

  • WHO SAID THINGS ABOUT TRUMP LIKE "HE'S DOING

  • "HE'S DOING TREMENDOUSLY WELL FINANCIALLY."

  • "MADONNA WANTS TO GO OUT WITH HIM.

  • CARLA BRUNI IS LEAVING MICK JAGGER TO DATE HIM.

  • ON TOP OF THOSE TWO, HE'S GOT THREE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS.

  • AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN COUNT THE SECRET GIRLFRIENDS HE'S GOT IN

  • CANADA."

  • AND IN THE 90s, TRUMP ADMITTED UNDER OATH HE WAS JOHN MILLER,

  • AND THE WHOLE THING WAS A "JOKE GONE AWRY."

  • SO A LOT LIKE HIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HE ALWAYS TELLING HIS

  • STORY, MAN.

  • >> Stephen: BUT THIS MORNING ON "THE TODAY SHOW," TRUMP SAID

  • SAID THIS.

  • >> ARE YOU AWARE OF THE TAPE?

  • IS IT YOU?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

  • YOU'RE TELLING ME ABOUT IT FOR THE FIRST TIME.

  • IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME AT ALL.

  • >> Stephen: WOW, I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT GUY ON THE PHONE WAS,

  • BUT HE DOES ONE HELL OF A JOHN MILLER IMPRESSION.

  • CLEARLY DONALD TRUMP ACTED AS HIS OWN PUBLICIST UNDER A

  • PRETEND NAME, WHICH IS ODD, BUT NO ODDER THAN ANYTHING ELSE HE'S

  • EVER DONE.

  • AND I JUST DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY REASON FOR HIM TO DENY--

  • (PHONE RINGS) SORRY, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SHUT

  • THIS OFF.

  • HOLD ON, I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

  • HELLO.

  • >> HELLO, STEPHEN?

  • THIS IS DONALD TRUMP'S NEW P.R.

  • SPOKESMAN, JOHN ALD, UH...

  • MELANIA-WITZ.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Stephen: I'M SORRY, MELANIA-WITZ?

  • >> I MEAN, BARRON McJOHNINGTON.

  • ANYWAY, LISTEN HERE, DUMMY.

  • I WAS WATCHING YOUR SHOW, AND I DON'T LIKE THE LIES YOU'RE

  • TELLING ABOUT DONALD TRUMP, WHO IS MY INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL BOSS

  • AND DEFINITELY A DIFFERENT GUY THAN ME.

  • LAUGH >> Stephen: WAIT, YOU'RE SAYING

  • THAT BACK IN THE 1990s DONALD TRUMP DID NOT PRETEND TO BE HIS

  • OWN PUBLICIST?

  • >> OF COURSE NOT.

  • HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME BACK THEN.

  • HE WAS TOO BUSY BANGING MADONNA, AND JESSICA RABBIT.

  • >> Stephen: LOOK, MR. McJOHNINGTON, JESSICA RABBIT WAS

  • ANIMATED.

  • >> SHE SURE WAS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

  • WE HAD LOONY TUNE SEX.

  • I MEAN, DONALD TRUMP DID.

  • >> Stephen: COME ON, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY DONALD TRUMP.

  • >> I WISH I WAS.

  • THE MAN IS A GOD, AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF CHARISMA AND SEXUAL

  • ENERGY.

  • SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD HAVE SEX WITH HIM MYSELF.

  • >> Stephen: LOOK, MR. MCJOHNINGTON--

  • >> WHO'S THAT?

  • >> Stephen: IT'S YOU.

  • >> NOT ANYMORE.

  • HE GOT FIRED.

  • I'M HIS NEW PUBLICIST, MILL-JOHN IVANKA-TOWER.

  • >> Stephen: LOOK, MR. TRUMP-- >> MR. TRUMP IS NOT AVAILABLE.

  • HE'S MAKING LOVE TO TAYLOR SWIFT ON A BOAT MADE OF STEAKS.

  • THE BEST.

  • GOT TO GO!

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY, AND WE'RE STILL

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ドナルド・トランプ氏の広報担当者とのチャット (A Chat With Donald Trump's Publicist)

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    VoiceTube に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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