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  • YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD A GREAT WEEK?

  • BERNIE SANDERS.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SATURDAY, HE WON THREE CAUCUSES:

  • WASHINGTON, ALASKA, AND HAWAII, WHERE VOTERS SAID "ALOHA" TO

  • BERNIE SANDERS, AND TO HILLARY CLINTON THEY SAID "ALOHA."

  • THAT'S AN EXCITING THREE STATE SWEEP FOR SENATOR SANDERS.

  • WHAT WAS THAT MAGIC THAT PUT HIM OVER THE TOP?

  • I'D SAY IT WAS THIS MOMENT ON FRIDAY.

  • >> NOW, YOU SEE, THIS LITTLE BIRD DOESN'T KNOW IT.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> STEPHEN: YES, A BIRD LANDED

  • ON BERNIE SANDERS PODIUM.

  • WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT A BIRD WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO AN OLD MAN

  • WHO LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BREAD IN HIS POCKETS?

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER)

  • 'COURSE THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A SIGN THAT BERNIE IS THE CHOSEN

  • ONE.

  • IT IS SPRING.

  • BIRDS ARE EVERYWHERE.

  • IN FACT, I'VE GOT A BIRD RIGHT HERE IN THE STUDIO WHO'S GOING

  • TO HELP ME SING A HAPPY SONG ABOUT SPRING.

  • COME ON, MR. BIRD!

  • SAY HI, EVERYBODY!

  • >> HI, EVERYBODY.

  • HI THERE!

  • HI THERE!

  • ♪ >> Stephen: YEAH.

  • NOW, MR. BIRD, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN ME IN A HAPPY SONG OF

  • SPRING?

  • >> I'D LOVE TO!

  • BUT FIRST, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT AMERICA'S VANISHING MIDDLE

  • CLASS.

  • >> STEPHEN: OH, OKAY. WAIT, ARE YOU THE BIRD THAT LANDED ON

  • BERNIE'S PODIUM?

  • >> WHAT?

  • NO!

  • THAT WAS A FINCH, I'M A BLUEBIRD.

  • SO ALL BIRDS LOOK ALIKE TO YOU?

  • YOU'RE A RACIST.

  • >> STEPHEN: NO, I'M NOT.

  • I WAS CONFUSED.

  • I'M SORRY.

  • HOW ABOUT WE SING THAT SONG ABOUT SPRING.

  • >> HOW ABOUT WE SING ABOUT HOW 1% OF THE BIRDS AT AMERICA'S

  • PARKS GET 99% OF THE BIRD SEED!

  • FAR TOO MANY BIRDS IN AMERICA CANNOT EVEN AFFORD FOOD TO

  • REGURGITATE INTO THE MOUTHS OF THEIR YOUNG.

  • JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

  • FEEL THE BIRD!

  • (LAUGHTER) >> STEPHEN: OKAY, I THINK WE'VE

  • GOT THE MESSAGE.

  • YOU'RE VOTING FOR BERNIE SANDERS.

  • >> NO, NO.

  • MY HEART IS WITH BERNIE, BUT I'M VOTING FOR TRUMP.

  • >> STEPHEN: WHY TRUMP?

  • >> MY WHOLE FAMILY COULD NEST IN HIS HAIR.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • FAIR ENOUGH.

  • WELL, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

  • STAR OF THE HANK WILLIAMS BIOPIC "I SAW THE LIGHT," TOM

  • HIDDLESTON IS HERE.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> OH, HE'S GREAT!

  • >> STEPHEN: AND FROM THE BROADWAY SHOW "SHE LOVES ME,"

  • LAURA BENANTI.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> LOVE HER!

  • >> STEPHEN: AND WE'LL HAVE A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE FROM

  • FRIGHTENED RABBIT.

  • >> THEY'RE A GREAT BAND, OR SO I'VE HEARD FROM MY FRIENDS.

  • ( BAND PLAYING ) >> STEPHEN: OH, DO YOU HEAR

  • THAT?

  • THAT'S THE SWEET SOUND OF JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.

  • SAY HI, EVERYBODY.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED YOU THE

  • FUNK WORM, BUT BEFORE THEY DO, ONE MORE THING.

  • THE OCULUS RIFT VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET IS AVAILABLE FOR

  • PURCHASE TODAY, UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN WEARING ONE THIS ENTIRE

  • TIME.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD A GREAT WEEK?

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スティーブンは、あまりにも鳥を持っています。 (Stephen Has A Bird, Too)

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