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  • You know, this presidential campaign

  • has been the craziest one in memory.

  • But here's the thing.

  • Yes, Americans are losing it,

  • because Americans are going, "This election is insane!"

  • But trust me, trust me on this.

  • It could be worse.

  • And it is worse.

  • (laughter)

  • -In Uganda. -(audience groaning)

  • In fact, that's their national motto.

  • (laughter)

  • You see, you see,

  • last week, Uganda held its presidential election.

  • And the incumbent president, Yoweri Museveni,

  • was reelected to his fifth term in office.

  • Now, to break it down, this guy has been in power since 1986.

  • Yeah, just think about that.

  • He's been in office for 30 years.

  • Like, in the Ugandan version of Back to the Future,

  • whenever Doc Brown asks Marty "Who's the president?,"

  • Marty goes, "It's the same guy."

  • -(laughter) -"It's the same... Don't ask the question.

  • He's a dictator. It is the same guy."

  • Now even though he won,

  • this was the toughest challenge Museveni has ever faced.

  • And here's the crazy thing, number one, about this election.

  • His main opponent.

  • WOMAN (on TV): Museveni is currently facing

  • a serious challenge to his presidency,

  • where his main challenger

  • is his former personal doctor Kizza Besigye.

  • (laughter)

  • I can't think of anything crazier than... You...

  • -(laughter) -Just take a second.

  • I can't think of anyone that would be worse to run against

  • than your own personal doctor.

  • -(laughter) -He knows everything about you.

  • It's gonna be the worst attack ad ever.

  • (with accent): "The president is corrupt.

  • "He abuses his power.

  • "And just between you and me,

  • "he has a rash on his scrotum

  • that we can't seem to get rid of."

  • (laughter)

  • "We have tried many ointments,

  • but the rash does not disappear."

  • (laughter)

  • Now, uh, speaking of Donald Trump...

  • (laughter)

  • He has done so well despite putting in so little effort.

  • But in Uganda, presidential candidates put even less effort.

  • Check out Kizza Besigye.

  • He's campaigning while sitting on top of a couch

  • on top of a car.

  • You know when you're on the couch, and you're at home,

  • and you're like, "Hmm, I'm hungry.

  • But I don't want to get up and go to the kitchen."

  • That's what this guy did while running for president.

  • -(laughter) -He's sitting on top of a couch on top of a car.

  • Honestly, like, for Uganda,

  • that's the most American thing I've ever seen in my life.

  • Yeah, the only thing that would make it

  • even more American is if he was going through

  • the drive-thru at Wendy's at the same time.

  • That's the only thing.

  • Now, the Ugandan elections were littered with fraud.

  • The president shut down social media

  • because it was benefitting the other candidates.

  • And, uh, remember the president's main opponent,

  • his personal doctor?

  • Well, he was arrested four times during election week.

  • And on election day itself, it just so happened

  • that his stronghold didn't receive ballots

  • until it was too late.

  • NEWSWOMAN: Some voters waited more than five hours

  • because ballots had not been delivered.

  • We came as early as 6:00 in the morning, okay?

  • And we've been here-- they are six hours late.

  • Six hours late.

  • Even Time Warner Cable is like, "Damn...!"

  • (laughter)

  • I mean, America has its problems when it comes to ballots,

  • but at least Americans get their ballots.

  • Ugandans would kill for hanging chads.

  • Hell, they'd take some dude named Chad

  • as long as he had some ballots with him.

  • Anyway, the point is,

  • obviously, President Museveni was easily reelected,

  • and with Donald Trump also winning over the weekend,

  • we thought, you know what, given the choice

  • between the two power-hungry maniacs,

  • who would voters prefer?

  • So we actually asked some of our friends in Uganda

  • to talk to their people in the street and ask,

  • who would they choose, Trump... or dictator Museveni?

  • Donald Trump or Museveni?

  • Whom would I vote for?

  • On pure entertainment value, Donald Trump.

  • Donald Trump is a... is a serious radical.

  • I don't think Ugandans would really put up with Donald Trump

  • and his terrible hair.

  • I have an uncle like Donald Trump.

  • He's a man who is a loose cannon.

  • One thing I know, he talks a lot.

  • Damn, he took on the pope. Respect.

  • And usually what we do at family gatherings

  • is just give him a bit of alcohol,

  • and he'll say all this nonsense that will excite us.

  • I say give him a chance.

  • That would be... like asking a Muslim

  • if they would have bacon or ham.

  • To-to make it simple, give me a rope, I think I'll hang myself.

  • Wow.

You know, this presidential campaign

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デイリーショー - ウガンダ。アメリカよりも選挙でも悪い (The Daily Show - Uganda: Even Worse at Elections Than America)

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    VoiceTube に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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