IT'S AUTUMN.

TIME TO PUT ON OUR SWEATERS, DRINK SOME APPLE CIDER, AND

START PLANNING FOR HALLOWEEN.

THIS IS MY FIRST ONE, SO I'M GOING AS SEXY iPHONE 6S.

YEAH, THE S STANDS FOR SLUTTY.

BUT BEFORE WE SAY GOODBYE TO SUMMER, LET'S TAKE ONE LOOK

BACK.

TAYLOR SWIFT RULED THE CHARTS WITH "BAD BLOOD," CROP-TOPS WERE

ALL THE RAGE, THE NATION WAS SWEPT BY A CRAZY DANCE CRAZE

CALLED SHUTTING DOWN PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

NOW WATCH ME WHIPE, OH, NOW WATCH ME ELIMINATED ACCESS TO

WOMEN'S HEALTHCARE.

YOU GUYS PROBABLY HEARD THE RADIO VERSION.

IT ALL BEGAN WITH A SERIES OF VIDEOS MEANT TO PROVE

THAT PLANNED PARENTHOOD WAS SELLING FETAL TISSUE FOR PROFIT.

THESE SECRETLY FILMED VIDEOS WERE MADE BY, I ASSUME, SOME

SORT OF PRO-LIFE JAMES BOND.

WHICH DOES NOT EXIST.

BECAUSE JAMES BOND IS OBVIOUSLY PRO-CHOICE.

SO THINK ABOUT IT, WHEN THE KIND OF PUSSY YOU CAN GET IS

DESCRIBED AS "GALORE" YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A FEW

ACCIDENTS.

(LAUGHTER)

♪ ♪ ♪

SO IT TURNS OUT THE VIDEOS WERE EDITED TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE

PLANNED PARENTHOOD WAS PROFITING OFF BABY PARTS.

BUT JUST BECAUSE THE VIDEOS FROM MANIPULATED DOESN'T

MEAN PRO-LIFERS COULDN'T GET OUTRAGED ABOUT THEM.

>> I DARE HILLARY CLINTON, BARACK OBAMA TO WATCH THESE

TAPES.

WATCH A FULLY-FORMED FETUS ON THE TABLE, ITS HEART

BEATING, ITS LEGS KICKING, WHILE SOMEONE SAYS WE HAVE

TO KEEP IT ALIVE TO HARVEST ITS BRAIN.

>> Trevor: GODDAMN!

WHEN CARLY FIORINA PLAYS TRUTH OR DARE, SHE DOES NOT

MESS AROUND.

I GO BACK, I CHOOSE TRUTH, I CHOOSE TRUTH.

THE TRUTH IS, THE VIDEO FIORINA WAS TALKING ABOUT

WASN'T EVEN FILMED AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD SO CARLY

FIORINA, YOUR TURN.

TRUTH.

>> PLANNED PARENTHOOD WILL NOT AND CANNOT DENY THIS.

BECAUSE IT IS HAPPENING.

IT IS HAPPENING IN THIS NATION.

>> Trevor: OH, OKAY, FINE.

BUT ONE PLACE IT IS DEFINITELY NOT HAPPENING IS

IN THAT VIDEO.

BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP CONGRESSMAN JASON CHAFFETZ

FOR HOLDING A HOUSE OVERSITE COMMITTEE HEARING LAST WEEK

TO DEFUND PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

THAT HEARING DID TO THE GO WELL FOR HIM.

>> HE'S GETTING ROUNDLY CRITICIZED FOR HIS HANDLING

OF THE PLANNED PARENTHOOD HEARING.

>> HE'S COMING UNDER FIRE FOR DISPLAYING A MISLEADING

CHARGE.

>> CHAFFETZ AT TIMES DEMONSTRATED A FUNDAMENTAL

MISUNDERSTANDING OF HOW WOMEN GOT CARE.

>> MOST OF AMERICA THINKS HE GOT OWNED DURING THAT DBEATE.

>> Trevor: ACTUALLY MOST OF AMERICA DOESN'T WATCH

C-SPAN.

(LAUGHTER)

AND THOSE WHO DO WOULD NOT USE THE PHRASE "HE GOT OWNED."

WELL, AT LEAST NOT IN THIS CONTEXT.

A SMART MAN WOULD LAY LOW AFTER THAT.

BUT GUESS WHAT CHAFFETZ DID.

>> I'M ANNOUNCING MY INTENTION TO RUN FOR SPEAKER

OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

>> Trevor: WHAT THE HELL?

A GUY WHO GETS STRONGER THE MORE EMBARRASSED HE GETS?

HE'S DELUSIONAL, MAN.

WHICH SOUNDS LIKE THE WORST SUPERHERO EVER.

USING HIS HUMILIATION TO SAVE THE DAY, IT'S

DELUSIONAL MAN.

HELP ME?

THE BUS IS HEADING OFF THE BRIDGE.

I'LL HELP, QUICKLY, TELL ME HOW SMALL MY PENIS.

DE-DE-DELUSIONAL.

BUT HERE'S WHY CHAFFETZ CAN RUN FOR SPEAKER.

THAT HEARING MIGHT HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSING, BUT IT WASN'T A

BIG DEAL FOR THE PRO-LIFE MOVEMENTS BECAUSE WHEN IT

COMES TO RESTRICTING ACCESS TO ABORTION, THEY'RE KILLING IT.

>> THE MISSISSIPPI LEGISLATURE PASSED A LAW

THAT REQUIRES DOCTORS AT ABORTION CLINICS TO HAVE

ADMITTING PRIVILEGES AT A LOCAL HOSPITAL.

>> NEBRASKA'S NEW LAW MAKES IT A FELONY FOR A DOCTOR TO

ABORT A FETUS AT MORE THAN 20 WEEKS.

>> NORTH CAROLINA'S GOVERNOR SAYS HE WILL SIGN A NEW LAW

REQUIRING A 72 HOUR WAITING PERIOD FOR ABORTIONS.

>> IN INDIANA TODAY THE SENATE THERE PASSED A NEWS FORCED

VAGINAL ULTRASOUND BILL.

>> Trevor: MIGHT NOT BE A FAN OF PRO-LIFERS, BUT YOU

HAVE GOT TO ADMIT, THEY'RE DAMN GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO.

THE SAME WAY THE KNICKS HAVE TO GIVE PROPS TO LEBRON

JAMES, OR THE SAME WAY THE DOLPHINS HAVE TO GIVE UP

FOR TUNA NETS.

I DID NOT THINK I WOULD END TODAY IN A CAN BUT WELL

DONE.

THE CRAZIEST PART IS ABORTION SAY CONSTITUTIONAL

RIGHT.

THE SUPREME COURT SAID THIS IS LAW, PRO-LIFERS WERE LIKE

I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE.

IT IS SORT OF LIKE WHEN THE ROCK TRIED TO CONVINCE US

THAT HIS NAME IS DWAYNE JOHNSON.

AND WE WERE LIKE NICE TRY, THE ROCK.

NO ONE LOOKS LIKE THAT AND IS CALLED DWAYNE.

AM I RIGHT, LADIES?

YEAH!

(APPLAUSE)

YEAH.

CUZ NOBODY WANTS TO SMELL WHAT DWAYNE IS COOKING.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S TRULY AMAZING HOW MUCH THE PRO-LIFERS HAVE BEEN ABLE TO

ACCOMPLISH IN THE ANTIABORTION FIGHT.

JUST IMAGINE WHAT THEY COULD DO WITH AN ISSUE WHERE THE

FACTS ARE ACTUALLY ON THEIR SIDE.

YES, YES, THAT IS SUCH A DEEP THING TO THINK.

BUT WHAT OTHER ISSUES COULD APPEAL TO THOSE WHO LOVE

LIFE.

>> ACCORDING TO THE BRADY CAMPAIGN TO PREVENT GUN

VIOLENCE, THERE WERE MORE THAN 97,000 PEOPLE SHOT IN

AMERICA THIS YEAR.

MORE THAN 250 EACH DAY.

>> Trevor: NOW, NOW, NOW, THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE.

IMAGINE IF WE COULD BRING SOME OF THAT PRO-LIFE

PASSION INTO BEING MORE, WELL, PRO-LIFE.

(LAUGHTER)

THEN AFTER A MASS SHOOTING INSTEAD OF THIS REACTION.

>> I DON'T THINK MORE GOVERNMENT IS NECESSARILY

THE ANSWER TO THIS.

>> LOOK, STUFF HAPPENS THERE IS ALWAYS A CRISIS.

>> Trevor: INSTEAD OF THAT-- INSTEAD OF THAT, WE

COULD GET THIS REACTION.

>> I'M COMPLETELY PRO-LIFE AND I BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD

HAVE A CULTURE OF LIFE.

IT IS INFORMED BY MY FAITH FROM BEGINNING TO END.

>> Trevor: WOW, SOMEBODY GET THAT MAN A TRANQUILIZER.

WHOOO!

WHICH IS IRONIC BECAUSE USUALLY JEB BUSH IS THE

TRANQUILIZER.

(LAUGHTER)

WHICH SOUNDS LIKE THE WORST MOVIE TITLE EVER.

"HELP ME.

THE BUS IS HEADING UP THE BRIDGE."

"LOOK, STUFF HAPPENS.

THERE'S ALWAYS A CRISIS."

(LAUGHTER)

IT HAPPENS.

EVEN CARLY FIORINA, INSTEAD OF THIS REACTION TO THE

OREGON SHOOTING.

>> I THINK WE NEED TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THIS

INCIDENT.

>> Trevor: WE WOULD GET THIS REACTION.

>> I AM REALLY TIRED OF BECOME CALLED EXTREME ON

THIS ISSUE.

EVERY LIFE IS FILLED WITH POTENTIAL.

>> Trevor: THAT'S RIGHT, MISS FIORINA.

MAYBE NOT THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME PRESIDENT BUT

DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY IN THE TOP 12.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND HERE'S THE THING.

IF PRO-LIFERS WANT TO FIGHT FOR LIVES OUTSIDE THE WOMB,

THEY DON'T EVEN NEED TO CHANGE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.

THEY JUST NEED TO ADD A LITTLE BIT MORE.

>> MY WORK IS BEHIND ME TO MAKE SURE THAT INNOCENT LIFE

IS PROTECTED.

>> AND OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T LET SOMEONE GET OUT OF A

BACKGROUND CHECK JUST BECAUSE THEY BUY A GUN AT A

SHOW RATHER THAN A STORE.

THAT'S JUST IDIOTIC.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Trevor: YOU SEE?

EVEN WITHOUT THE GLASSES HE IS STILL PRETTY SMART.

YOU TRY IT, REPRESENTATIVE JOE BARTON.

>> I THINK EVERY LIFE IS PRECIOUS.

I THINK THE CONGRESS SHOULD DO EVERYTHING THAT WE CAN TO

PROTECT THAT LIFE.

BY PASSING A BAN ON HIGH CAPACITY MAGAZINES, FOR

INSTANCE.

I MEAN YOU'RE GOING DEER HUNTING, NOT PLAYING "CALL

OF DUTY" FOR CRIST'S SAKE.

WOW, WOW.

(APPLAUSE)

BARTON MAKES A POINT THAT IS BOTH COMPELLING AND ODDLY POP

CULTURE SAVVY.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISING.

THIS IS REALLY JUST COMMON SENSE.

>> IF WE SAVE ONE LIFE, THAT'S IMPORTANT.

AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THAT WE SAVE

EVERY LIFE WE POSSIBLY CAN.

WHICH IS WHY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY CONGRESS

PASSED A LAW BANNING HEALTH AGENCIES FROM EVEN

RESEARCHING GUN VIOLENCE.

WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?

[APPLAUSE]

>> Trevor: ONCE AGAIN, I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER

MYSELF.

THE POINT IS, IF PRO-LIFERS WOULD JUST REDIRECT THEIR

POWERS TOWARD GUN VIOLENCE, THE AMOUNT OF LIVES THEY

COULD SAVE WOULD REACH SUPERHERO LEVELS.

THEY JUST NEED A SUPERHERO'S TOTAL DEDICATION TO LIFE.

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THEY'RE MORE LIKE COMIC BOOK

COLLECTORS.

HUMAN LIFE ONLY HOLDS VALUE UNTIL YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE