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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Most of the time, we're playing games to escape

  • the real world.

  • But some games are so much fun, we play them even though

  • the game world is so much scarier than the one we are

  • hoping to leave behind.

  • A game where the players are the only thing that stands

  • between life and a horrible, shivering, puking, bleeding,

  • and miserable death.

  • Today on TableTop, my friends, Robert Gifford, Ed Brubaker,

  • and Morgan Webb are here for a game that we don't so much

  • play, as desperately hope to survive.

  • Wash your hands and put on a face mask because we are the

  • world's last, best hope to stop a pandemic.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Pandemic is a cooperative game where we all

  • work together as members of a disease-fighting team that is

  • headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia.

  • And we're not the team you're thinking of, unless you're

  • thinking of a team I just made up that lives together in a

  • van in a parking lot across the street from the CDC.

  • Our goal is to travel around the world, treating localized

  • outbreaks and epidemics to prevent them from joining

  • together into a global pandemic.

  • Huh?

  • See?

  • It's not just a clever name.

  • It actually describes the game.

  • Each turn, we will perform four actions.

  • Basic actions, like moving around the board

  • and treating disease.

  • Or special actions, like discovering a cure, or using a

  • player's special, unique ability.

  • Then we will draw cards from this deck that should help us,

  • and find out where the disease is spreading next.

  • Now, there are many new ways to lose in Pandemic, but only

  • one way to win, and that is by eradicating all four diseases.

  • Remember that deck I said should help us?

  • That deck contains the most dangerous, awful cards in the

  • entire game--

  • epidemic cards.

  • These tell us where epidemics have happened, which can lead

  • to outbreaks that will spread around the globe, leading to

  • our inevitable defeat.

  • Pandemic is incredibly intense.

  • It's exciting.

  • It's unbelievably difficult.

  • But I've had more fun losing this game that I have had

  • winning a lot of others.

  • Now we will find out if we win together, or if the entire

  • world dies.

  • Because it is time to play Pandemic.

  • MORGAN WEBB: My name is Morgan Webb, and I host a TV show on

  • G4 TV, and it's called "X-Play."

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: My name is Robert Gifford, and I own the

  • company, Geek Chic.

  • And we make geek furniture and accessories for geek living.

  • ED BRUBAKER: My name is Ed Brubaker, and I am a comic

  • book writer and screenwriter.

  • I write for Marvel Comics.

  • I write "Captain America" for the last seven or eight years.

  • And I wrote the famous death of Captain America story line

  • a few years back.

  • WIL WHEATON: In the official rules of Pandemic, the person

  • who goes first is the person who was most recently sick,

  • which for our purposes, I think, is a little pedestrian.

  • Sorry, Matt.

  • Love you, but I have a better idea.

  • Who has had the most outrageous, crazy disease?

  • Like who's had like the worst sickness?

  • I'm pretty sure I'm going to go first.

  • So I'll just go ahead.

  • I will tell you what mine is, and then we'll just sort of go

  • around the table.

  • OK?

  • In 2009, at PAX Prime in Seattle, I got the swine flu.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • I was there.

  • WIL WHEATON: I had the swine flu, and

  • influenza B the same time.

  • For two weeks, I had a temperature in

  • excess of 100 degrees.

  • And I have something to say to Foreigner, by the way.

  • You're [BLEEP]

  • liars.

  • When you have a fever of 103, the last thing you want to do

  • is get on with somebody.

  • What you want to do is die.

  • Foreigner is full of [BLEEP].

  • They are liars.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Ergo, proven.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes, proven.

  • Science.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I was going to go with the fact that I had a

  • temperature so high that I had to go to the hospital.

  • And they kept me overnight.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, that's pretty good.

  • What was your temperature?

  • MORGAN WEBB: But it was only one day.

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, what was the temperature?

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was like 103, but it kept going up.

  • And then I had to get an IV.

  • And then they're like, you're not going anywhere.

  • WIL WHEATON: And the last thing you wanted to do--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because I was a little--

  • WIL WHEATON: And the last thing you wanted to do was do

  • it in the hospital.

  • Right?

  • MORGAN WEBB: No.

  • I wanted to lay there with the blanket over my head--

  • WIL WHEATON: Right, and die.

  • MORGAN WEBB: 17 blankets, and warm blankets, because I

  • thought I was going to freeze to death.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Which is sort of strange and ironic.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Fever in the hospital.

  • That's pretty gnarly.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was very recent, though.

  • WIL WHEATON: Sick for a long time.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That was two weeks ago.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God.

  • WIL WHEATON: Holy crap.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That was recent.

  • Did you ever find out whose Coke that was?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't drink that Coke.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • We were sitting around in my room, drinking this soda

  • happily, and then I realized I don't know whose soda that is.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Nothing will make you paranoid about disease quite like

  • playing Pandemic.

  • OK.

  • Robert?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I actually also acquired the H1 nerd one

  • virus from PAX.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Actually, I got that as well.

  • And remember--

  • I don't know if you remember on the PAX website, they

  • tracked the flight that it came in on.

  • And then they tracked all the flights that it came out on.

  • And of course, I was on one of those outgoing flights.

  • WIL WHEATON: I was on one of the outgoing flights, as well.

  • So we all got the PAX flu?

  • Really?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Absolutely.

  • WIL WHEATON: You were there, but you didn't get it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I was at PAX that year, and Rich, my friend

  • Rich, who works at Nintendo said, a lot of people are

  • getting sick.

  • And so Rich and I walked around with our

  • hands in our pockets--

  • WIL WHEATON: Witch!

  • ED BRUBAKER: --and looked at things.

  • Yeah, witch.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So you also got H1N1.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But I--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --in 1990, had repetitive strep throat for

  • six months, where I would be sick with strep throat, and I

  • would go to the hospital, to the emergency room, and they

  • would give me medication.

  • And I would get better for like two weeks, and then I

  • would be sick again.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You were breeding a super strain.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I was totally breeding a super strain of

  • strep throat.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, my God, you are a mad scientist.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It was when Jim Henson like

  • died at the same time.

  • I remember reading his obit while I was in the emergency

  • room waiting to be seen for like, the ninth time.

  • My friends, and my girlfriend at the time, like totally

  • didn't believe I was sick anymore, because I just kept

  • being like, oh, I'm dragging.

  • And so I woke up one day, and my left ear drum had burst.

  • I was like, bleeding all over the pillow.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Can that happen?

  • ED BRUBAKER: So I ran to the emergency room, and they were

  • like, oh, we haven't been giving you strong enough

  • medication.

  • And then they gave me like super strong medication.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah, they're like, yeah, this is cool.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • This is fine.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It went away.

  • But for like four years after that, any time my throat felt

  • sore, I'm like, oh, God.

  • I'm getting it again.

  • WIL WHEATON: I think you go first.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Winner.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Winner.

  • I think Ed goes first.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Did your ear bleed?

  • ED BRUBAKER: It was.

  • It bled, and I have problems with hearing in that ear now.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, I'm sorry.

  • This is not as funny anymore.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's OK.

  • What was great, though, when I woke up, I had my girlfriend,

  • who had been like, you're not sick.

  • It was like, oh, my God!

  • Your ear is bleeding!

  • So it was like, yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK, you go first.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I win.

  • MORGAN WEBB: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: You win at almost dying.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But I like that you guys-- but it also makes

  • sense, because you guys all got the exact

  • same flu, and I didn't.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • That's another good reason you can go first.

  • All right.

  • So normally, when we play Pandemic, at this point in the

  • game, we would sort of draw some cards, and figure out

  • where the infection is on the board.

  • But you don't want to watch that.

  • So we did that before we all sat down.

  • So the initial big infection cities, it looks like it's

  • Miami, London, St. Petersburg.

  • And then there's some other little things sort

  • of around the globe.

  • We should talk about our roles real quick.

  • I'm the scientist.

  • Ed's the researcher.

  • Robert is the dispatcher, and Morgan is the medic.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm the healer.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep, that's nice.

  • You're the cleric.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I never play a healer.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So we should take the green pawn away.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • That's right.

  • Yeah.

  • Go away.

  • You should not be on the board.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I love that they're called

  • pawns, by the way.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, jeez.

  • WIL WHEATON: Pandemic wins!

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We all die.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • We'll put the green guy back there.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm so OCD I just had to fix it.

  • WIL WHEATON: So we are all starting out in Atlanta.

  • Ed, you're up.

  • So you got four actions.

  • How would you like to spend them?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ED BRUBAKER: I will--

  • Does it matter--

  • No, it doesn't matter if I have the card if I go to the

  • city, if I can walk to it.

  • Right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: So like you can walk to Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can walk to Miami.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Drive.

  • Take a bus.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: With a lot of other guys.

  • WIL WHEATON: You could ride on a donkey if you wanted to.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • I'm going to go here, and--

  • How many of these can I take away?

  • WIL WHEATON: You can take one.

  • ED BRUBAKER: One for each action?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: Two, three, four.

  • You take away all three of them if you want to.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can take away all three.

  • OK.

  • Morgan and I, I guess, had both not

  • played the game before.

  • Will and Robert both have played this game so many times

  • apparently.

  • WIL WHEATON: The fact that the very experienced players and

  • the brand new players are all working together so well

  • illustrates why I love cooperative games.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right, I have cured Miami.

  • WIL WHEATON: Congratulations.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, not really cured.

  • WIL WHEATON: Right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But I kind of wiped out.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You're a hero among men.

  • WIL WHEATON: You just sort of went there and sprayed a bunch

  • of disinfectant on things.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I'm like, no zombies coming here.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's like putting signs up in the bathroom

  • saying please wash your hands.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Basically, I'm a researcher, and I would like

  • to tell you that you need to wash your hands.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm going to install

  • hand sanitizer stations.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, everywhere.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Um-hmm.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • So let's look at cards and see what you get.

  • You've got--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Ooh.

  • WIL WHEATON: Ohh.

  • A good card.

  • A special event.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Basically, you can play it when you want to.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, I can save this.

  • OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: And it lets you do the same thing that the

  • dispatcher does.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • OK.

  • So I will save this until we need it then, right?

  • And then I get a second card.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then your second card is Bogota.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Ooh.

  • And I get to--

  • WIL WHEATON: Go ahead and take that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And I get to keep that.

  • All right.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Awesome.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And I can eventually

  • trade these with you--

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --when I have enough of the right color.

  • Right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • We are theoretically halfway to curing yellow.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: [INAUDIBLE] going to pop up again?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: And now let's find out where

  • the infection spreads.

  • Morgan, you want to put a blue in New York?

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't really.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • I will put a black in--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Infection around.

  • WIL WHEATON: --Kolcata, which I believe is here.

  • This game really messes with my knowledge of geography.

  • It's only two.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • That's it Just two right now.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, because the things are not where the

  • cities are.

  • WIL WHEATON: Every time we play, I do that.

  • OK, all right.

  • So the first turn is over.

  • OK.

  • Robert.

  • You're up.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: OK.

  • So I'm a dispatcher, so I can move other people around,

  • which seems like a good idea.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I think I'm going to just launch Morgan

  • out to London.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I was going to say you should be shipping Morgan

  • all over the world.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: My role, I'm just kind of putting people

  • where they need to go.

  • I'm the dispatcher, and I fly people to locations

  • they need to be in.

  • WIL WHEATON: We have a really good combination with the

  • dispatcher and medic.

  • Robert is able to get Morgan where she needs to be, and we

  • can get a lot of stuff down pretty quickly.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, it's almost about to outbreak.

  • WIL WHEATON: Just stand on the disease and make it feel bad.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And then I guess I'll just start moving

  • the other direction and see if I can get to a

  • useful place in Asia.

  • One, two.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, going around the horn.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I like it.

  • WIL WHEATON: You can either go to Tokyo, or Milan.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, to Tokyo, let's say.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK, I'll put you in Tokyo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There you go.

  • Watch out.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that's my last action.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep.

  • I think that's it.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You're standing on the tiny disease pile.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm done.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, the [INAUDIBLE] disease pile.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • So let's see what cards you get.

  • Jakarta and Algiers.

  • MORGAN WEBB: With every card turn, I'm incredibly nervous.

  • WIL WHEATON: I know.

  • And the thing is, that inevitably an epidemic comes

  • up, and then you just think, did we get that like

  • improbable shuffle where the next epidemic is immediately

  • underneath it?

  • Oh, and for everyone watching at home, if you have played

  • Pandemic before, you can set the difficulty of Pandemic by

  • how many epidemic cards you put into the deck.

  • You could play like on sort of an easy level, where there's

  • two or three epidemics.

  • You can play all the way up to the legendary level, where

  • there are six epidemic cards in the "it's going

  • to help you" deck.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And that's what we're playing on.

  • WIL WHEATON: Legendary.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes, yeah.

  • So if we lose--

  • MORGAN WEBB: This is a very brave man, right here.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, but if we lose, ah well, we're playing

  • on legendary.

  • But if we win, we were playing on legendary.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Will informed us we were playing

  • on legendary status.

  • So I guess that's really bad.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: There's going to be a riot.

  • I'm going to flip a car.

  • I'm going to flip a car.

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, you're in Los Angeles.

  • That's what we do when we win.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's my understanding.

  • ED BRUBAKER: After we get past the 6th one, there's like a

  • Lord Humongous card in there somewhere.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, he just comes climbing out.

  • OK, so we're spreading infection now, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We're doomed.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • So Ed, why don't you put a red on Seoul here.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I like that they're above the city.

  • It's like they're hovering in the atmosphere.

  • WIL WHEATON: Robert, infect Santiago.

  • OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Looking for a good rain to bring it down.

  • WIL WHEATON: Morgan, you're up.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm so excited.

  • OK, so for my first action, we're going to clear London.

  • WIL WHEATON: Morgan's special ability as the medic is that

  • she can clear all the cubes of the disease out of the city.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm pretty awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, in one action.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So my second action.

  • WIL WHEATON: Two, OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: My third action.

  • And then my fourth action.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God.

  • Wow.

  • WIL WHEATON: Wow.

  • That's great.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • We're totally going to win.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's awesome.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Fortunately, I'm playing as the medic.

  • This is more of the healer, the support character.

  • So they are able to move me a lot of places.

  • And then I just kind of pick up disease.

  • I feel like I'm helping.

  • I feel like I'm being awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So Morgan, you get Manila.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, Manila.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Very nice.

  • WIL WHEATON: There you go.

  • And you get epidemic!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on.

  • Morgan.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was not my fault.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • MORGAN WEBB: The cards were against me.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You gave them the Coke.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You gave them the Coke-- the haunted Coke.

  • WIL WHEATON: The first thing you do is you move the

  • infection rate indicator up by one thing.

  • Now, we infect.

  • This is a great mechanic.

  • This is one of the absolutely amazing, wonderful things

  • about this game.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And by great, you mean terrible?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • I mean it's terrific.

  • We go into the infection deck.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Great to terrible.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Only if you want to win.

  • WIL WHEATON: Every city in the game is represented one time

  • in this infection deck.

  • So we go to the infection deck.

  • We take the bottom card off the infection deck.

  • And then we find out that this disease will

  • now spread in Beijing.

  • So put three cubes--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that one.

  • WIL WHEATON: --on Beijing.

  • Sorry.

  • That's right, my bad.

  • Good catch.

  • And let's find out where the second card goes.

  • Right?

  • ED BRUBAKER: This one.

  • This one.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, right.

  • It's the infection rate is two.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The infection rate is two.

  • WIL WHEATON: I really have played this game a lot.

  • Every time.

  • All right.

  • Now, what we do is a step called intensify.

  • This is where we take the discard pile--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Intensify.

  • WIL WHEATON: We shuffle the discard pile around.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Fine, it is a good mechanic.

  • Whatever.

  • WIL WHEATON: No, it's great.

  • Isn't this a super great mechanic?

  • MORGAN WEBB: No, it is really--

  • a lot about this game is really clever.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's totally funny when it's not

  • happening to you.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: So let's--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Exactly.

  • If we were watching other people play this game, I'd be

  • like, ha, ha.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That is the best mechanic I've ever seen for a

  • game I'm totally not playing.

  • It's not tense at all.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Are we satisfied with my shuffling of these?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • That was--

  • WIL WHEATON: Of these cards?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Only once we see the results.

  • WIL WHEATON: There's not a lot of cards.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: These go back here.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, no.

  • WIL WHEATON: And that is--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, so places that have already been sick,

  • they get sick again.

  • WIL WHEATON: But now--

  • MORGAN WEBB: There's only 17 more of them there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Now we spread the infection.

  • But look, you're close enough to touch those cards.

  • So why don't you go ahead and spread the

  • infection, and it's on you.

  • All right.

  • So--

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's my good luck.

  • WIL WHEATON: Mexico City.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Mexico City.

  • WIL WHEATON: So I'll put one cube on Mexico City,

  • which now has two.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't know why I'm looking for good luck.

  • There are no good cards.

  • WIL WHEATON: You're looking for not Beijing.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • There's no--

  • Looking for not Beijing.

  • MORGAN WEBB: New York.

  • ED BRUBAKER: New York.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • That's all right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • And that's the end of--

  • MORGAN WEBB: We don't need New York.

  • They think they're so great, but they're not.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's the end of the first turn.

  • Now it is me.

  • I am the scientist.

  • The scientist's special ability is that I only need

  • four cards of the same color to cure disease instead of the

  • usual five.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • MORGAN WEBB: You think you're pretty cool, don't you?

  • WIL WHEATON: So--

  • I'm glad that I can be--

  • I'm just trying to help.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So if you get four like blues, then you

  • remove all the blues from the--

  • WIL WHEATON: If I get four blues and go to a research

  • station, then I turn those in, and we've

  • cured the blue disease.

  • And then the blue disease behaves the same as--

  • Then we can all treat the blue disease the same way Morgan

  • can treat any disease.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • Oh, awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So we still have to wipe it out

  • after we have the cure.

  • Awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: We don't have a super duper,

  • duper hot zone yet.

  • I mean that's kind of not awesome.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's getting ugly.

  • WIL WHEATON: So I'm thinking that I might

  • go one, two, three--

  • I can either move over here, or I could move

  • one space to Ed.

  • You could only give me cards on your turn, though.

  • Your turn is next.

  • I can go to see you, and then you could give me Bogota and

  • Los Angeles.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then I'm like halfway to a yellow cure.

  • What do we think about that?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is it too soon to cure?

  • Or do we want to cure as quickly as possible?

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.

  • You always want to cure right away.

  • But what I could do--

  • MORGAN WEBB: People are dying, man, come on.

  • WIL WHEATON: --one, two, three, four.

  • MORGAN WEBB: People need a cure.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's true.

  • WIL WHEATON: I could go one, two, treat is three, and then

  • Miami is four.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure.

  • Yeah.

  • That sounds--

  • WIL WHEATON: Or I could go one-- you can go back to the

  • same city, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • Absolutely.

  • WIL WHEATON: So I could go one, two, three-- oh, it's the

  • same thing.

  • OK.

  • So I'm going to go to Chicago.

  • I'm going to say hello to my friends who live there.

  • What's up, [INAUDIBLE]?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Hi guys.

  • WIL WHEATON: Good to see you.

  • Then we go to Mexico City.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Are you going to say hello to

  • your friends there?

  • WIL WHEATON: Like seriously you guys.

  • Wash your freaking hands.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • I'm going to go there.

  • And then I'm going to come to Miami.

  • MORGAN WEBB: We actually tried to make a strategy for this

  • game when we first started.

  • We thought that we were going to cure the yellow disease.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then you can give me cards--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, all right.

  • WIL WHEATON: --on your turn.

  • Unless something catastrophic happens now.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah, which is--

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So I'm going to draw a card here.

  • Shanghai.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Shanghai.

  • That's good.

  • WIL WHEATON: Come on.

  • How about a yellow card?

  • Cairo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Cairo.

  • OK.

  • We're OK though.

  • That is not a bad card.

  • WIL WHEATON: So now we're going to go ahead and spread

  • the infection.

  • Kolkata.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is Kolkata Calcutta?

  • WIL WHEATON: It might be.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: I don't know.

  • That's nobody's business but the Turks.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's good.

  • WIL WHEATON: A little They Might be

  • Giants on the broadcast.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Miami.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Absolutely.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You're going to have to pay for that

  • song, you know that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I just fixed that place.

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, apparently someone didn't

  • use the hand sanitizer.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We already fixed that place.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: What the hell?

  • WIL WHEATON: So that's the end of my turn.

  • So Ed, it's up to you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: One thing I really like about this game,

  • it totally reminds me-- it's totally different mechanic,

  • but it reminds me of that Lord of the Rings game where you

  • play against the board.

  • WIL WHEATON: Right.

  • It's--

  • ED BRUBAKER: I like games where you play instead of--

  • because I get fairly competitive in games.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It is a nice change of pace, because you

  • know a lot of people are playing Settlers of Catan

  • these days, and people get incredibly competitive, and

  • sometimes it becomes a little bit less fun.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Give me your sheep.

  • I'm serious.

  • Give you your sheep.

  • I'm not kidding around, now.

  • MORGAN WEBB: 17 sheep for your wool.

  • 18 sheep for your wool.

  • I hate you, man.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I hate you.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I will never help you again.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I hate you.

  • WIL WHEATON: I will stab you in the face if you

  • don't give me lumber.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Lumber!

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm not even joking.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All right.

  • All right, all right.

  • Easy, easy.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • You're up, Ed.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So I am going to--

  • does this count as an action when I give you stuff, or is

  • it just part of my character?

  • WIL WHEATON: I believe that is-- share

  • knowledge is an action.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: So that would be two actions for you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: One action.

  • OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Two actions.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So I'm going to share those--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's two actions.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Did you hear about these places?

  • WIL WHEATON: Two, three, four, five, six.

  • I am one card away from my hand limit.

  • That's important.

  • ED BRUBAKER: From you hand limit.

  • Yeah.

  • Don't go over your hand limit.

  • And then I'm going to cure this--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's three.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --other outbreak and be like, dude.

  • I just fixed you.

  • And then I will go--

  • Wait.

  • That was three?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, because this is two actions.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's two actions?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: And I know the director is going to tell you

  • to sit down and asked Robert to move you, because you're

  • going to stand up out of the shot.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yes.

  • So--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm happy to move you, sir.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --what I would like is for my guy

  • to move down to--

  • is that Bogota?

  • Or where?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Let's go down there and be prepared to cure them.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm moving the wrong piece.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I am the researcher, so I can go to

  • anywhere, anyone else's, and just give them my cards.

  • We thought, oh, yellow looks like it's going

  • to really take over.

  • And we all were starting to move towards that.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • And so now, we're going to go and do this.

  • You got a Lagos card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • And then I got Istanbul.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's also--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Come on.

  • WIL WHEATON: [HUMMING "ISTANBUL (NOT

  • CONSTANTINOPLE)"]

  • ED BRUBAKER: I think someone's going to have

  • to do a theme song.

  • WIL WHEATON: Then let's spread the infection now.

  • London.

  • Morgan, thank you for treating London so we

  • don't get an outbreak.

  • Tokyo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Tokyo is getting in some trouble.

  • No, it's just two.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't like it.

  • I don't like what's going on over there.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I don't like it.

  • And everybody there is walking around with those masks on.

  • WIL WHEATON: I know.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I know they are.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Like now.

  • Where there isn't even an outbreak.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Pre-outbreak.

  • WIL WHEATON: Clearly, it indicates that those masks

  • don't work.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You wear them when you're sick.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You don't wear them to

  • prevent disease for yourself.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, is that what it is?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because they're so polite there.

  • They don't want to get anyone else sick.

  • But I get it.

  • Like when I'm really sick, I feel like I want to walk

  • around with one of the things.

  • Because you just feel like you're

  • dripping disease off you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Have you ever put one on, though?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: To like go outside ever?

  • Like during the whole swine flu epidemic?

  • MORGAN WEBB:I would in Japan, but I would not do it here.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, in Japan.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I would do it in Japan.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's fashionable there.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because it's cool.

  • I'd get one of the Louis Vuitton ones.

  • WIL WHEATON: One time I put on one of those because I was

  • painting my house, and I was like, I want to

  • draw face on it.

  • So I grab like a Sharpie, and I drew like a big

  • marky face on it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then I put it on, and I was like painting.

  • And I feel weird, you guys.

  • Because it was just so stupid.

  • I was like basically huffing Sharpie.

  • And I didn't know until it was like, I'm going to go lie down

  • for a while.

  • No, I'll leave the mask on.

  • Can somebody put on "Dark Side of the Moon"?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I guess I need to figure out what we're

  • going to do here.

  • There's kind of a good thing where I can bring you to the

  • best, the most diseased portion of the world.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So I'm kind of thinking that's a good idea to

  • keep doing that, to bring you to the locations that we need.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And Wil is really close to me, so I

  • can give him Lagos.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • I could just walk you on my turn.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well actually, I could do nothing.

  • I could move my pawn to--

  • is it Beijing?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Beijing is looking bad.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I move one, two to Beijing.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So if someone could move me to--

  • That's two actions, to go to Beijing, right?

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • One, two to Beijing.

  • Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And then I will bring Morgan to me--

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --in Beijing.

  • That's action number three.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I love moving when it's not my turn.

  • That's fantastic.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The fourth action, I'm going actually

  • just unify the two of you in a location, as well.

  • So there's no wasted action for walking.

  • So I'll take white and move it to brown.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, okay.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, that is super smart.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Thank God.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's what I'm--

  • I'm just like a glorified flight--

  • air traffic controller.

  • Listen.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You're pushing it.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm going to need you in

  • Algiers, all right?

  • That's all I'm doing.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's like a package delivery service guy.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Pretty cool.

  • WIL WHEATON: You're like that fast talking

  • guy from the '80s.

  • I'm going to need you to go to Beijing.

  • All right.

  • Now I need you to come over from St. Petersberg to

  • Beijing, and we're going to go down to Bogota, and then

  • you're going to go to Bogota, too.

  • And we're going to be there soon.

  • And everybody make sure to wash you hands.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You sound like Jennifer Jason Leigh in "The

  • Hudsucker Proxy."

  • WIL WHEATON: On purpose.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's my internal dialogue.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I draw theoretically good cards.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • You're going to draw some cards now, see?

  • All right.

  • You have Paris.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, wait.

  • Not me?

  • WIL WHEATON: Not yet.

  • No, these are good cards.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I know, I'm a little trigger

  • happy on the diseases.

  • WIL WHEATON: And you have in Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, and now we have more yellows.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Indeed, more yellows are here.

  • WIL WHEATON: And now this is going to happen.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm.

  • WIL WHEATON: Chennai in India, which is down here, right?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, man.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's too bad.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's looking bad.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's not happy.

  • And Beijing.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, no.

  • WIL WHEATON: Guess what, everybody.

  • That's an outbreak.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: So, put one in Seoul.

  • Put one in Shanghai.

  • And then we should be really grateful that that's all that

  • happened with that outbreak, because it could have

  • been so much more.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • It only connects to two places.

  • WIL WHEATON: Now move the outbreak up one.

  • Remember, I said, there are a lot of ways to lose this game.

  • One of the ways to lose this game is if the outbreak

  • indicator gets all the way up to that little skull and cross

  • bones, which is the universal symbol for you

  • just lost the game.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yes, for bad, bad things are going to happen.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, I thought that meant that we start

  • playing a pirates game.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, yes.

  • This game is over.

  • Pirates game next.

  • ED BRUBAKER: By the way, don't go on land anymore.

  • WIL WHEATON: Pandemic a very unpredictable game.

  • The only thing that you can predict, and be absolutely

  • certain, is that when you think you've got things under

  • control, the wheels are going to fall off your little wagon

  • of curing disease.

  • OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That would be--

  • I am done.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's the end of your turn.

  • Morgan, you're up.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I think that my first action is fairly clear.

  • I'm going to take you off the disease pile.

  • That's one action.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • MORGAN WEBB: So then I can do two.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, unless you think I want to start

  • moving my way down there.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You can't get there, and so--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Right.

  • So I should just--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Right.

  • So you should go here and--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Just clean up what I can.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Just clean up Seoul.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Unless you have a card that will allow

  • you to build a research station up here.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh.

  • Ed's got the airlift--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Boo-yah!

  • WIL WHEATON: --but I think it's a little early in the

  • game to use it.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It seems a little early, yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • I think so.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And I'm doing stuff.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Un-boo-yah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: De-boo-yah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Can you take back a boo-yah?

  • MORGAN WEBB: End in Tokyo, for next time, just in case.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • Good call.

  • Good call.

  • All right.

  • You want to draw your cards?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, no.

  • One.

  • WIL WHEATON: Osaka.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm starting to get some--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • Two more of those and you can--

  • ED BRUBAKER: I like the gas mask on the wall back there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Thank you.

  • Oh!

  • The good one.

  • So why don't you read what it says.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I get to examine the top six cards of the

  • infection draw pile, rearrange them in the order of your

  • choice, then place them back on the pile.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that is amazing.

  • WIL WHEATON: That is so super useful.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Excellent.

  • MORGAN WEBB: This is such a beautiful card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I never knew I could love a card so much.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You've gone from a medic to basically like a

  • tea reader.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Everybody got happy, but there's still the

  • part where we have to flip those cards over.

  • There is.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, wait.

  • She doesn't get to do that right now?

  • MORGAN WEBB: I get to do it whenever I want.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes.

  • So she can do it now.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And I'm going to look to the guidance of the

  • professionals--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: --to tell me when they think that I should play

  • this special, one of a kind--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Generally, after a very terrible

  • epidemic has come.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: When you're terrified.

  • WIL WHEATON: What you do is you want to take that, and

  • then sort of like rearrange them so like if there was

  • going to be an outbreak--

  • ED BRUBAKER: So they don't go anyplace

  • that has three already.

  • Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: So now why don't you go ahead

  • and spread the infection?

  • MORGAN WEBB: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Spread the infection.

  • WIL WHEATON: Seoul.

  • Will you put a red one on Seoul, please Ed?

  • ED BRUBAKER: I will.

  • If I can find it.

  • Oh, there he is.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • It's so rude.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I know.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's like disease is a dick.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Then we have Santiago.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All the way down here.

  • WIL WHEATON: All the way down.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Does everybody start to feel a little bit

  • sick after they play this game?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Does everybody like start

  • feeling their glands.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, after a particularly good game.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'd worry about my ear, if I were you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: After a particularly good game of

  • Pandemic, you realize how often you touch things that

  • other people have touched during the day.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then you realize how often you touch

  • your face after you've touched other things.

  • And then, you're living in the Howard Hughes suite.

  • I mean it's really Kleenex--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Kleenex boxes on the feet.

  • WIL WHEATON: --everywhere.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You must do this, too.

  • You go to conventions, and you meet everybody.

  • They stand in line.

  • It's like, you're not going to not shake people's hands.

  • WIL WHEATON: Look.

  • I just had to--

  • MORGAN WEBB: I actually--

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • I actually installed the don't [BLEEP]

  • touch me rule after I got the swine flu.

  • MORGAN WEBB: People are happy to be respectful of that.

  • WIL WHEATON: They're really good about it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Now.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because the thing is like, does that person

  • whose hand I'm shaking want to basically be shaking hands

  • with every other person that I've shaken hands with?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: In fact, that's how you should

  • introduce yourself.

  • Hi, I'm a disease vector.

  • You don't want this.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • But, I am a disease vector.

  • I really am.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Exactly.

  • Whenever everybody switched to the fist bump a few years ago

  • at conventions, I'd see my friend.

  • And I'm like, these people waited in line two hours to

  • get like your signature.

  • Like, shake.

  • So I'd shake their hands.

  • MORGAN WEBB: To bask in my presence.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But you do after--

  • WIL WHEATON: But then you get the swine flu, and you're

  • like, [BLEEP]

  • you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You get an autograph and the swine flu,

  • so it's not necessarily--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, that's true.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's not really a gift.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I just have never had thought about that until

  • like a few years ago.

  • Like, we were at a WonderCon in San Francisco.

  • Matt Fraction and I were doing a signing.

  • And we both looked at each other one point, and we were

  • like, don't touch your face.

  • And we both realized like, how often you rub your eye.

  • And anytime one of--

  • I was like, just stop me from doing it.

  • If I'm about to touch my face, don't let me.

  • It became a thing, where we would constantly out of the

  • corner, you're about to scratch your nose, dude.

  • Don't do it.

  • WIL WHEATON: When that happens, I imagine that like,

  • the camera zooms in on like, the pores on my face.

  • So it's like a macro.

  • Like super, super, super macro level.

  • And then every one of my pores turns into a

  • little troll face icon.

  • And it just starts moving back and forth like this.

  • Like, you're going to get itchy in a minute.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It zooms in, and there's like

  • World of Warcraft playing.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Well, that also happens.

  • Is that the end?

  • Is that the end of your turn?

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is the end.

  • Yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: So it's my turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago got some meaningless disease.

  • Santiago.

  • It's all the way [INAUDIBLE].

  • WIL WHEATON: I think that I should stay in Bogota, treat

  • two Bogotas--

  • MORGAN WEBB: They would appreciate that.

  • WIL WHEATON: --and wait--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Two Bogotas.

  • WIL WHEATON: --and wait for Ed to give me Lagos.

  • I'm going have to discard a card on my next turn because

  • that will take me-- well, no.

  • I'll have two, four, I'll have seven.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That will be your most.

  • Yeah.

  • But then you won't be able to get--

  • WIL WHEATON: Like you know what will be super awesome is

  • if I drew a yellow card now, and I discard one of these

  • things, and we would do a happy dance.

  • That would be great.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Or we, the three of us, could all meet in

  • Miami, and then cure yellow.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I do have enough cards.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can air lift you to Miami, and then you can

  • move Wil and I both to Miami.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • And I can give you Miami in Miami.

  • You can take Miami from me.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, exactly.

  • Yeah.

  • And I can give him Lagos wherever.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So if you moved me to Miami--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I can move you to Miami now.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You moved--

  • Take a card as an action from him, one.

  • WIL WHEATON: Right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: But that's on his turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's on his turn, though.

  • You can't do that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No, I can airlift at any time.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So then the actions remain the same.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: They're still the same, yeah.

  • And if we get lucky, that's a yellow card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No epidemic.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Oh.

  • Certainly.

  • Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That would be even better.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ED BRUBAKER: And then we don't need to move you at all.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So two actions.

  • I'm going to clean.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You can stay in disease-ridden Tokyo.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm going to clean that.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's beautiful here.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's beautiful here.

  • WIL WHEATON: Do I want to go to Miami for my third action,

  • and wait there?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure.

  • You're closer to a research station at that

  • point, so why not?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: And I'm just going to stay in Miami.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Beautiful there, too.

  • WIL WHEATON: Right?

  • Yep.

  • It is.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Really, where have you gone?

  • You just like take a trip down south.

  • Come back up.

  • Like, listen.

  • MORGAN WEBB: We've both traveled the world.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The world.

  • WIL WHEATON: You guys!

  • You guys, it's winter!

  • I want to stay where it's warm and nice.

  • What's wrong with you?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Whatever.

  • ED BRUBAKER: He's indoors.

  • He's playing Skyrim.

  • WIL WHEATON: Traveling around with my Nintendo DS.

  • OK, here we go.

  • Let's find out what this card is.

  • Be yellow!

  • No!

  • What part of be yellow did you not understand, you dick!

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: There's some yellow in there, I think.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK, all right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yellow fever.

  • WIL WHEATON: Move the Infection rate up by one.

  • MORGAN: We're still on two.

  • That's cool.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We're OK, we're OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's cool.

  • WIL WHEATON: Draw a card off the bottom of the pile, and

  • put three cubes in Khartoum.

  • Three yellows in Khartoum, please Robert.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, we're almost

  • about to wipe out yellow.

  • It's not biggie.

  • WIL WHEATON: Now it's even better if we cure yellow.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • They can get back to their blood diamonds.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Sweet.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The stakes in this game just keep getting

  • higher and higher.

  • You start to name them after a while.

  • It's like, umm, that's clearly Ebola.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: One of them is the PAX pox.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's the PAX pox.

  • So it's got to be blue.

  • Blue is definitely swine flu.

  • And red is the avian flu, clearly.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Black is zombies.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Black is zombies.

  • Because that's-- they came out of the Middle East.

  • WIL WHEATON: This happens every time we play Pandemic.

  • With experienced players, with new players.

  • You name the diseases.

  • For whatever reason, red it is always the bird flu.

  • And one of the diseases is always the zombie outbreak.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I'm positive of that.

  • WIL WHEATON: You guys, look.

  • Madagascar has already closed its ports.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Exactly.

  • Done.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's awesome.

  • Ahh!

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Stop spreading infection.

  • WIL WHEATON: Sorry.

  • What is that?

  • Kachoo, kachoo.

  • OK.

  • So are we satisfied that the infection

  • deck has been shuffled?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We'll see when you pull the

  • cards, pretty much.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: This is one of those situations.

  • You're just going to be blamed, no matter what.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • So that's that epidemic.

  • I get to draw one more card.

  • Yes!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: That is good news for us.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Fantastic.

  • WIL WHEATON: That is good, good news.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It is good news for the people of the world.

  • WIL WHEATON: But now this is less good news.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Chennai is going to outbreak.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: So that's one in Kolkata, one in Delhi, one in

  • Mumbai, one in Bangkok.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Everything.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's black in Bangkok.

  • That's right.

  • It's black in Bangkok, and it's black in Jakarta.

  • So this right here, that's what we call super happy, not

  • good, bad news.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Now Kolkata.

  • OK, so watch what happens now.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Ready?

  • Watch what happens.

  • Kolkata outbreaks to Delhi.

  • It outbreaks to Bangkok.

  • The disease spreads to Hong Kong.

  • It hits Chennai, which means Chennai then hits to Jakarta.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It goes to Ho Chi Minh, too.

  • WIL WHEATON: Chennai hits to Mumbai.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You missed Ho Chi Minh.

  • WIL WHEATON: Wait.

  • Chennai hits to Delhi.

  • Chennai hits to Bangkok.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And that would be two more outbreaks.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Wait, but nothing got to Ho Chi Minh?

  • WIL WHEATON: Nothing got to Ho Chi Minh City.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK, OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that two more?

  • Is that two more outbreaks, or one more outbreak?

  • Because the original outbreak was--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's going to be two.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's going to be two.

  • Because it was--

  • WIL WHEATON: We went from Kolkata, and we hit that

  • again, so that's two.

  • So--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Two.

  • Indeed.

  • WIL WHEATON: --this is super bad news.

  • Ah!

  • The worst thing ever was getting that black zombie

  • plague, chain reaction, double outbreak.

  • Because we had one on our outbreak meter, and we went up

  • to four in just one bouncing feedback loop.

  • You get up to eight outbreaks, and you lose.

  • So we went from being 90% away from defeat

  • to halfway to losing.

  • In one term.

  • We can only stand--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Does anyone have any black cards?

  • WIL WHEATON: --three more outbreaks before we lose.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I have one.

  • WIL WHEATON: I also have two--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, we can cure black.

  • WIL WHEATON: --black cards.

  • Well, in theory.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: Because it's spreading very quickly.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It is.

  • I would issue a travel advisory not

  • to go in that area.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I think that is advisable.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There's really nothing-- come on.

  • WIL WHEATON: But guess what, guys.

  • Guess what else we're going to do.

  • Spread one more, right?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Not yet.

  • Not yet.

  • Not yet.

  • Don't hurt!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's not alter the rules to make it harder.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Punative.

  • Punative.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • I believe that's mercifully the end of the turn.

  • Another way that you can lose the game is if

  • you run out of cubes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, are you kidding me?

  • WIL WHEATON: Because these cubes represent sick people.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Or zombies.

  • WIL WHEATON: Or zombies.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Those are zombies.

  • WIL WHEATON: So we are actually now-- it might not

  • seem like it-- but we're actually at risk for running

  • out of blacks cubes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So apparently, the board can kick your ass

  • really quick.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's super happy fun times.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's the hardest game in the world.

  • Yeah.

  • That's what happens.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's the hardest game in the world.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Congratulations.

  • Congratulations.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Set on the highest difficulty level.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Enjoy it.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • So I think that's it.

  • That's the end.

  • That's the end of my turn.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, God.

  • WIL WHEATON: Ed, you're up.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Why would you have done that, Wil?

  • WIL WHEATON: Can I make a suggestion?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Can I airlift Morgan into the hot zone?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, though she can't do anything about it

  • until it's her turn.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, she can't do anything about it.

  • But you can at least watch the destruction.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: But you could airlift yourself

  • into the hot zone--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --and help out.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Take out what?

  • Two cubes?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: One cube, two cubes.

  • These are all that's necessary to keep us from--

  • WIL WHEATON: This is all good.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --outbreak of doom--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's it?

  • Oh.

  • OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --and these kinds of things.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But there are so many places with threes, and

  • it's just disgusting.

  • WIL WHEATON: This is deadly.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That outbreak basically shut down all of our

  • proactive cure plans, and so we had

  • to go straight defensive.

  • And right now, we're basically just trying to contain all of

  • the outbreaks.

  • And I have to admit to you, it's not looking good

  • for us right now.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, how do I--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The question now

  • becomes, do we stick with--

  • if you go there, do we stick with the original plan of

  • curing yellow, or do we, at this point, say no, no.

  • We can't possibly cure yellow.

  • We have to deal with this.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yellow doesn't even look like a

  • problem right now.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, black.

  • I didn't even notice zombies.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I was like, oh, zombies.

  • Whatever.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So you're afraid of being chomped on.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We have bird flu going on here.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: But how else would I be able to get over

  • there, is the question.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can save this to use on your turn.

  • Oh, but I can't get there, otherwise.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: But if you move there--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Can't anyone build a research station?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, he can move you there.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I can,

  • specifically, if you are there.

  • I can get you there pretty quickly.

  • Because I can move two pawns together.

  • So if you're down in that zone, she can come right to

  • you on my turn.

  • And I can come right to you on my turn.

  • So you being there for the next two turns is good for us.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's actually a really good thing.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So we should try and save

  • that area of the world.

  • That's what we're going to go for.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I guess so.

  • We can't write that off.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We can't write that off.

  • All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Were like the generals in that terrible

  • cabinet meeting.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I know.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Listen to me.

  • It's over.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So we're just abandoning the yellow plan?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago is done.

  • ED BRUBAKER: How much are we going to build on?

  • WIL WHEATON: I think we're back burnering the yellow one.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: I mean, the yellow plan was a

  • good plan, you guys.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was a good plan.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm not going to lie.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • I am--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I liked it.

  • WIL WHEATON: But clearly, the zombie problem--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The zombies are--

  • WIL WHEATON: Is a significantly bigger problem.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, how about if I--

  • Wil moved.

  • So if I move to where Wil was, I could give him Istanbul, and

  • then airlift myself over here, and take off one.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And if I have extra actions on my turn, I

  • could bring Wil all the way to us.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh yeah, that's true.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So again, that's--

  • ED BRUBAKER: But there's no research station near there.

  • WIL WHEATON: And you could give me Algiers.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD:That's true.

  • That's true.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There's no research

  • station there, though.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, but you can build a research station

  • if you have the appropriate card.

  • WIL WHEATON: And I have Shanghai, which is pretty

  • close to there.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I've got Beijing.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, if you flew yourself, if you air

  • dropped yourself with your card, to Istanbul--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Istanbul.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --and you used your Istanbul card to set up a

  • research station there--

  • Well, it's still kind of far away.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Where is Istanbul?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So maybe not.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, Istanbul is way over there.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: They might be giants.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm laughing in the face of death.

  • Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  • ED BRUBAKER: He's got like a hand crank turntable.

  • WIL WHEATON: Listen.

  • I don't know what your problem is.

  • Things are awesome in Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: They Might Be Giants album on that.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You're sending yourself.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's great.

  • I'm having a good time.

  • And I'm actually playing just playing Vice City.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm playing Vice City in real life.

  • In Miami, it's great.

  • I don't know what your problem is.

  • I'm going to a They MIght Be Giants concert in Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Actually, you know, you moved my guy to--

  • we switched guys.

  • WIL WHEATON: Oops.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I'm the brown guy.

  • All right.

  • So what should I do?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, I would move to one of the cities--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata or Delhi?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Any of the cities.

  • Any of the central cities there.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So probably this one.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah.

  • I think Bangkok.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Then it can go to everybody.

  • I'll go to Bangkok.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, but Bangkok will not generate its

  • own black cubes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It won't?

  • Are you sure?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: it's gotten all of those

  • because of the outbreaks.

  • But it will not generate its own black cubes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK.

  • So Kolkata.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So getting rid of--

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's an excellent point.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • So getting rid of the others would really take as a

  • possibility for an outbreak away.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: If we just manage to get the two that are

  • connected to it, then that would

  • be all that is necessary.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So Bangkok can remain a

  • pestilent filth center.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Like usual.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Like usual.

  • WIL WHEATON: Trenchant political commentary.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: I can't wait to read all the hate mail.

  • ED BRUBAKER: By people who've never been to Bangkok.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Just post comments.

  • It's all my fault.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I hear it's awesome.

  • Marjorie Liu, please don't kill me.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • So you'd rather go to Kolkata--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Or Chennai.

  • WIL WHEATON: Chennai, or Delhi?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: What's in the northern--

  • WIL WHEATON: This is Kolkata.

  • That's Delhi.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Kolkata.

  • I would say Kolkata, just because that's more central.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I'll go to Kolkata.

  • It just outbroke.

  • All right.

  • I'll go to Kolkata.

  • WIL WHEATON: So go ahead and play your airlift card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, airlift.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So this is none of your

  • actions at this point.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, you still have four actions.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK.

  • So I still have four actions.

  • And I can get rid of all three of these?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You could, though the one is more

  • valuable than three.

  • So one.

  • And then you could actually moved to

  • the southern location.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • You could go to Bangkok or Chennai.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is this two actions?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: No, no.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Three?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I would go to the--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, because that's not going to spawn

  • black cubes, because it's in the red zone.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And it's important to know that it--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, perfect.

  • I see.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It has to be spawning black cubes to create

  • an outbreak.

  • You can just stack red cubes right next to it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So that's my second.

  • This is my third.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • That's three.

  • And then you've got a fourth move.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: If you move up there, then I can bring people

  • to you, so I think that's a good move.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: So go to Delhi.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I'm going to go to Delhi.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I think that's a great move.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I'm going to hang out here and

  • watch zombies eat everybody.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Hang out in the disease.

  • Make sure your shotguns are ready.

  • WIL WHEATON: So draw.

  • Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Aw, man.

  • New York.

  • New baby.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • New York is a good card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I like New York.

  • We love New York.

  • Delhi.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yay!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Hey!

  • I'm there.

  • I'm actually there.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You could build a research station.

  • WIL WHEATON: You could build a research station.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, but I don't have any moves.

  • WIL WHEATON: But you're out of actions.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And it's infection time.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It is infection time.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm not doing it.

  • You do it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's get Mikey.

  • WIL WHEATON: He infects everything.

  • Time for Mikey.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Seoul gets a red one.

  • That's no biggie.

  • That's nothing at all.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Whatever.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Whatever.

  • They got it.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's cool.

  • We don't need kimchi.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's been cured.

  • Nobody likes kimchi.

  • Oh--

  • WIL WHEATON: Mexico City.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --yellow.

  • Mexico City gets a yellow.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Robert, you're up.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: How have we done this?

  • ED BRUBAKER: My turn is over.

  • I survived my turn, and so did most of the world.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So now my turn, it's just about

  • maneuvering people to be in the right areas

  • at the right time.

  • WIL WHEATON: A really fun element of Pandemic, everyone

  • has a special ability.

  • And part of the cooperative nature of this game is using

  • that special ability to benefit all of the

  • players in the game.

  • It is possible to just get hosed in the game because you

  • don't have a really important guy when you really need him.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All right.

  • Let's see what I've got here.

  • Algiers is nowhere close, of course.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I like that you used "hosed."

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, that's the technical term.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Bringing it back.

  • Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Hosed, boned.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Morgan would probably be useful with her--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Hosed is unisex.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --medical ability right in through here.

  • So--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, I guess 'boned' is, too.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --let's just take you and

  • move you next to brown.

  • That one.

  • Two will be to bring Wil over to this

  • party in the same area.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes.

  • Please move me.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's awful.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So that's--

  • ED BRUBAKER:Please move me.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Party.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's three?

  • Or two?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's two, right?

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's two.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Two.

  • Three should be--

  • let's see.

  • I feel like we need a research station close here.

  • I've got--

  • ED BRUBAKER: I feel torn because I so hate people that

  • I feel we should let more die.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ED BRUBAKER: I haven't done much research on this, that I

  • know that if we let a certain amount of billions of people

  • die, global warming, it's over.

  • WIL WHEATON: Let me appeal to your sense of self-interest.

  • If we let people die, we lose.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I don't want to lose.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: But look how cozy it is up here in Iceland.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, look at that.

  • It's got research stations.

  • WIL WHEATON: That place is lousy with research stations.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's like Ice Station Zebra.

  • MORGAN WEBB: But it's so nice, we can all live up there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, we could.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And it won't even be ice for very long.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm going to spend is this card to fly to

  • Khartoum, and take a cube off of Khartoum.

  • I think that's the best play.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • That is.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I will fly to Khartoum.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • OK.

  • So the yellow is kept in check.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: They're currently not in

  • threat of any outbreaks.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Any outbreaks.

  • Oh, awesome.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Wonderful.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Except for the ones we already have.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm going to go ahead and do this for you.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Draw me some theoretically good cards.

  • Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: How about another epidemic?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, that would not be good.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's not good at all.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I threw up in my mouth a little.

  • MORGAN WEBB: How many epidemic cards are there?

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's how it starts.

  • That's the first symptom.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • WIL WHEATON: Oh, my God.

  • The infection rate is now three, everybody.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Aww.

  • WIL WHEATON: So that means we're drawing three infection

  • cards every turn.

  • Let's find out--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Starting with the next one, right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Starting right now.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: This is no good.

  • ED: Thanks a lot, Robert.

  • WIL WHEATON: Madrid.

  • Madrid.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's three, right?

  • WIL WHEATON: And also, I just want--

  • Hey, Morgan.

  • Remember how you can look at the cards and

  • see where they are?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Sweet Mother of God.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Sweet Mother of God.

  • It's funny how we all find religion.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right now.

  • And Yeah.

  • Now's the time.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So I think now's the time to do that.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • So where are we able to--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Are there more than six

  • cards in the deck currently?

  • WIL WHEATON: One, two, three, four, five.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So you just get to order

  • them at this point.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • So Morgan, go ahead and stack these up in

  • a way that I think--

  • ED BRUBAKER: We don't want Kolkata.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We just don't want either of the black, the

  • two black outbreaks.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Those should go at the bottom.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Because those would bring--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Too much drama.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'll put these at the bottom.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Actually, no.

  • Madrid would be--

  • WIL WHEATON: Hey, guess what.

  • Madrid would be bad.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid would still be bad.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So actually--

  • and both of those can take a cube, at this point.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that correct?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So at this point, actually, Madrid is the

  • worst possible--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Madrid is the worst possible--

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • So that goes on the bottom.

  • WIL WHEATON: So Madrid's on the bottom.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But we don't Delhi.

  • WIL WHEATON: Let's see.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is Delhi in there?

  • WIL WHEATON: Chennai, Kolkata.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The rest of it is actually OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: What do you think?

  • What do you prefer?

  • Like, do you want to make Chennai sick?

  • Or do you want to make Kolkata sick?

  • It's your call.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata can handle one more.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Suckers.

  • Kolkata is getting it.

  • No one do Chennai.

  • WIL WHEATON: So what's going to happen is

  • we're going to infect.

  • Seoul is going to get three.

  • Mexico City is going to get three.

  • And what's this one?

  • And then Chennai is going to get three.

  • That's how this is going to go down.

  • Then on Morgan's turn, we know that Madrid is coming up.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: And Kolkata is coming up.

  • So where I don't think that it is possible--

  • Well, I guess we got to get Morgan to Madrid.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We could.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We just moved her.

  • WIL WHEATON: How can you get to Madrid?

  • MORGAN WEBB: But I can clean that up a little bit.

  • WIL WHEATON: Do you know anybody in Madrid?

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't know anybody in Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Do you know a guy?

  • [LAUGHS]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • It's just one of those situations.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Nobody knows anybody in Madrid anymore.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid's lost.

  • Put out the cigar.

  • Madrid is lost.

  • We have to worry about the zombies.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The swine flu can wait.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • But it's spread from Madrid all the

  • way to New York somehow.

  • Seriously.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • It probably went on a boat.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Oh, they don't do that anymore.

  • WIL WHEATON: On a tramp steamer.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Iris.

  • I never thought I'd be on a boat.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I guess we're going to do Seoul--

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's Princess cruises.

  • MORGAN WEBB: -- and then Mexico on top.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • There aren't really any good answers.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure.

  • Sure

  • MORGAN WEBB: This one here?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: This is discarded, I would think.

  • ED BRUBAKER: All right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's hope you stacked them

  • in the correct order.

  • WIL WHEATON: Robert, you get one more good card.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: One more good card.

  • WIL WHEATON: Let's find out what your good part is.

  • Johannesburg.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Johannesburg.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: I guess that's good in the sense

  • that it's not bad.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I suppose.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: Go ahead and infect Mexico City, which is

  • now at risk of outbreak.

  • Go ahead and infect Seoul, which is

  • now at risk of outbreak.

  • Go ahead and infect Chennai, which is now--

  • is that Chennai?

  • No, it's Mumbai.

  • Where is Chennai?

  • Which is now at risk of super duper outbreak.

  • So if Chennai outbreaks, we lose the game.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Filthy, dirty outbreak.

  • OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So you know what your job is.

  • You know your work.

  • Get out there.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I gotta--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Heal us!

  • WIL WHEATON: All right, Morgan.

  • I believe in you.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Heal us!

  • WIL WHEATON: You can do it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It seems like the game is cheating.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We're going to wipe.

  • We're going to wipe if you don't give us some healing.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So one.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Let's see.

  • I'm going to go two.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Three.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You're like a superhero.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Four.

  • I wish I could do more.

  • WIL WHEATON: We all wish we could do more.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All of that.

  • All that.

  • And that's your whole turn, and now we get to draw some

  • theoretically good cards.

  • And three more.

  • We get to get an outbreak in Madrid, I think.

  • MORGAN WEBB: This is going to be an amazing card, you guys.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Super, super amazing.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's not that helpful, but not bad.

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • MORGAN WEBB: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: Sao Paulo.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Is there a song about that?

  • WIL WHEATON: I just made it up.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • And I got Seoul.

  • That's actually pretty good.

  • WIL WHEATON: Seoul.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's four cards.

  • You need one more red card to actually cure red.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, wow.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm going to do it like you.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's like monopoly style.

  • WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai, and we're very

  • close to each other.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I like it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • Look at that.

  • WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai, and we're close to Shanghai.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We have to draw some

  • theoretically good cards.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • We just did that, though.

  • Right?

  • You drew two.

  • You drew two.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: OK.

  • Good.

  • WIL WHEATON: Why don't you go ahead and do that?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Now we get to do the thing that we don't

  • want to do.

  • WIL WHEATON: Ah.

  • Kolkata gets its--

  • I put these on backwards Sorry, camera department.

  • OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: They're just kissing you off right now.

  • WIL WHEATON: Come on.

  • Turn the cards around, stupid.

  • All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Two more.

  • WIL WHEATON: Number two.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, man.

  • OK.

  • Actually, I don't know why I was--

  • WIL WHEATON: It's going to be Madrid.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I knew what was going to happen.

  • WIL WHEATON: So Madrid outbreak.

  • So put in a blue.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So here and here.

  • WIL WHEATON: You know what to do.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And then London gets two.

  • And then New York is now on three.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: The worst possible, and

  • this moves to five.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then also, don't forget Sao Paulo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Whoa.

  • WIL WHEATON: Sao Paulo is connected to Madrid.

  • MORGAN WEBB: No, it's not.

  • WIL WHEATON: It super is.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, it is.

  • WIL WHEATON: I like the way you play, Webb.

  • You got moxie, kid.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So now, the worst card we could draw at

  • this point, that's sitting right there on top of the

  • deck, would be New York.

  • New York would be the worst card we could draw.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • Seoul would also be pretty bad.

  • You know what?

  • Why don't you draw a different card than those.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • Beijing.

  • WIL WHEATON: Beijing.

  • There's nothing in Beijing.

  • OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • Good.

  • WIL WHEATON: Good work, Morgan.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You guys are welcome.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Thank you.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's skill that has really

  • brought me here today.

  • WIL WHEATON: Wow.

  • It seems like it was just one turn ago that things were

  • going so well.

  • I was going to stay here and get stuff from Ed, but I think

  • that it probably makes more sense for me to walk--

  • but we should walk to--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • Can you go somewhere and come back?

  • WIL WHEATON: I think that I should walk to--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Can you get back by the end of your turn?

  • WIL WHEATON: If I walk to Kolkata, clean

  • two, and come back.

  • But what I'm thinking I should do is Kolkata, one, Shanghai,

  • one, and then move back.

  • Or one, two, three--

  • MORGAN WEBB: You could stay in Shanghai, and then give me

  • Shanghai when it's my turn.

  • And then I can cure.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We've got to get rid of--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's true.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --these zombies or--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's a good point.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --the swine flu is not

  • going to kill everybody.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm so worried about the zombies.

  • MORGAN WEBB: But doesn't my turn seem like a

  • million years from now?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Aren't the zombie cards, by and large, in

  • the pile that's now gone?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is a good point.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So what is likely to

  • come up at this point?

  • Seoul just took one, right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: I say we're worried about

  • New York and Madrid.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, Madrid, we just had it.

  • MORGAN WEBB:That's right Madrid is on the bottom.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid is on the bottom.

  • The only one that's out there, that's in that pile, that's

  • waiting to--

  • ED BRUBAKER: I have New York.

  • WIL WHEATON: No, no.

  • This is in the bad cards.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ED BRUBAKER: I was doing the newbie thing.

  • WIL WHEATON: Edward Brubaker also laughing

  • in the face of death.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So I have New York here.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I mean the thing that will lose the game

  • for us, it seems, is if New York comes off

  • the top of that deck.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Everything else--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's what going to lose the game for us?

  • MORGAN WEBB: But that means that you can

  • travel to New York--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Or Mexico City.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Or you could travel to Chicago,

  • and go cure New York.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You're not only the dispatcher, but you're

  • also counting cards.

  • WIL WHEATON: You're absolutely right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Counting cards is OK.

  • It's allowed.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • Counting cards is OK in this.

  • WIL WHEATON: You're absolutely right.

  • OK.

  • So are we thinking that at this point--

  • ED BRUBAKER: So did Wil make all of you guys put down

  • $1,000 that we'd win, too?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: Ix-nay on the ousand dollars thing.

  • So, OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can't believe people gamble on this game.

  • It's so weird.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: He said if we lose, he gets to take the

  • table home.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's cool, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: I guess, at this point, it's all Hail Mary

  • passes for the rest of here.

  • Maybe I get lucky, and I draw one quiet night.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's what I was saying in the break thing.

  • I was like, the only hope we have right now is like,

  • resilient population or a quiet night.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • But can I posit an alternate theory?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes.

  • Please do.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, please, please.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • Instead of you going to Chicago and wasting all that

  • time traveling, we could just hope it doesn't come up, and

  • then he could--

  • no, no, but seriously.

  • Like out of that whole thing.

  • If you fly straight to New York, cures one, and then he

  • can also cure one off of Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah.

  • That's true.

  • I have New York.

  • I can fly there.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • But the other thing, too, is that he could fly there and

  • meet him there to transfer cards, as well.

  • I mean that's a useful thing to do, as well.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I mean, the key is that--

  • WIL WHEATON: We could also--

  • that kind of returns us to the cure yellow move, because he

  • could fly there, give me Lagos, and then it's just a

  • matter of me getting to Atlanta to cure yellow.

  • And then he does that, and then he does Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I just fell like it is such a

  • waste that we are standing--

  • We're practically holding hands, and I have--

  • WIL WHEATON: It is never a waste of time to

  • hold hands with me.

  • ED BRUBAKER: --if I have the cure for--

  • MORGAN WEBB: As long as you get sanitized first.

  • WIL WHEATON: As long as you're wearing Tyvek suits.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I know.

  • Why do I not have my hand sanitizer on the table?

  • I have never felt more--

  • Like I did the--

  • I brought my coffee.

  • I'm like, is this my coffee?

  • MORGAN WEBB: I already drank of out it.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Hey.

  • No problem.

  • [COUGHS]

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's been seasoned.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's been seasoned.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But I feel like we have the cure for the

  • zombie plague between us, and you're going to run away from.

  • Like, what is the deal?

  • Are you just a huge, walking bedpan?

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm afraid of commitment, and I think we

  • spend a lot of time together.

  • And it's making me nervous.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: But you can hand him that cure to there in

  • New York, as well.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • That could be anywhere.

  • That's your superpower.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's right.

  • And then we're closer to--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: To the research center.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So I want to get a red card.

  • So everyone is going to abandon me.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: No.

  • No.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No one is abandoning you.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: No one is abandoning you.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You guys are leaving me in zombie land.

  • I just do not appreciate it.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'll be there.

  • I will still be--

  • No.

  • I'm not even there.

  • ED BRUBAKER: He could airlift you out.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's true.

  • ED BRUBAKER: You're like Radar O'Reilly.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ED BRUBAKER: I can't get the chopper in.

  • I'm sorry.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'll hold on to the rungs of the chopper.

  • Don't leave me here with the zombies.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: It's like that scene in "Apocalypse Now."

  • You're just holding on.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Literally "Apocalypse Now."

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm really thinking.

  • I'm thinking.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That's the next game.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You've got to draw three infection cards.

  • That's the biggest issue, I think.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • I mean, if New York goes--

  • ED BRUBAKER: This is actually harder than SimCity.

  • WIL WHEATON: If New York goes, we lose.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, we'd be to seven outbreaks.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Right.

  • We lose.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I think so.

  • WIL WHEATON: Not on that turn, but--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Are you thinking the Center for Disease

  • Control, they sit around and play this game

  • on break and stuff?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: One would hope.

  • One would hope.

  • That's out last, best hope.

  • Really.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Listen.

  • It's not like we sat around playing Star Raiders when we

  • were working on "Star Trek." I mean, I'm just saying.

  • I'm just saying.

  • Like, do you play video games where you work?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yes.

  • WIL WHEATON: I knew that.

  • That's why I asked it.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Constantly.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • MORGAN WEBB: We haven't built any research stations, either.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We haven't built any research.

  • We do not care about research.

  • We're just like--

  • MORGAN WEBB: We do not.

  • WIL WHEATON: I think I should fly to Chicago

  • and walk to New York.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Go for it.

  • WIL WHEATON: Fly to Chicago, walk to New York,

  • and clean New York.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's just hope--

  • WIL WHEATON: Fly to Chicago.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's just hope you never need that blue card.

  • WIL WHEATON: [MAKING SOUND OF AIRPLANE ENGINE FLYING]

  • Turbulence!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Does anybody else have blue cards?

  • WIL WHEATON: One.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Nope.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I have one.

  • WIL WHEATON: Two.

  • Three.

  • Treat one.

  • That's four.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So we are nowhere near ever being able to cure

  • blue if I use my New York card [INAUDIBLE].

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm so not even worried about

  • New York right now.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't think we're going to do that.

  • WIL WHEATON: I don't think we're going to be alive long

  • enough to even worry about that.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Let's just get some cures

  • on the board, right?

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Here we go.

  • Ready?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is there a don't turn over cards, like--

  • WIL WHEATON: There is.

  • Yeah.

  • One quiet night.

  • Moscow.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, nice.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Wait.

  • You can almost cure black on you own.

  • Maybe you'll get another one right now.

  • Unless you shuffled really good.

  • Don't peek.

  • WIL WHEATON: Washington!

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yay!

  • WIL WHEATON: But I have to discard a card now,

  • because I have two.

  • So I'm just going to discard Shanghai.

  • Kidding!

  • MORGAN WEBB: You bitch!

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ED BRUBAKER: But you can because she has four reds.

  • You don't need--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: She needs five.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I need five.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, she needs five.

  • And then we have to actually be in--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, red is a problem, too.

  • Wait.

  • Oh, man.

  • Everything is a problem.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: Everything is a problem.

  • Welcome to playing Pandemic.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Some guy thought that we should have all six

  • epidemic cards in the deck.

  • I'm just saying.

  • I don't know if that was the best idea.

  • WIL WHEATON: I hate that guy.

  • All right.

  • Ready?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Ready.

  • WIL WHEATON: London.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Um.

  • OK.

  • We're In London.

  • WIL WHEATON: Tokyo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Tokyo.

  • WIL WHEATON: Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Miami.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I've cured Miami so many times.

  • WIL WHEATON: I thought that was going to be a lot worse

  • than it was.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It's OK.

  • We've got some more turns.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is that the way it works?

  • Is that the end of your turn?

  • WIL WHEATON: That's the end of my turn.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: So Ed.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I am a researcher, but I have no idea

  • what to do at this point, because my guy is like,

  • catatonic in a corner, surrounded by zombies.

  • WIL WHEATON: I think you're flying to New York.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Flying to New York, and I'm giving you--

  • WIL WHEATON: You are giving me one of those--

  • ED BRUBAKER: One of those cards.

  • WIL WHEATON: -- one of those zombie playing cards.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • So that's two of my moves.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then I'm going to one of New York's

  • many delightful watering holes to get drunk as drunk.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That has happened.

  • WIL WHEATON: One.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Two.

  • WIL WHEATON: Two.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Ooh.

  • WIL WHEATON: Now, interesting thing, though.

  • I have to discard a card now, which means that I'm

  • discarding a yellow because--

  • ED BRUBAKER: You're right.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Why not just discard Shanghai?

  • ED BRUBAKER: You don't have to discard a card until the end

  • of your turn.

  • Right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Because she's--

  • Because Morgan is--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I have a red card over here.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yep.

  • MORGAN WEBB: He's got one over there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Good point.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

  • Wait.

  • You don't have to do that until you've played.

  • Right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: No, it's immediate.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's an immediate thing in your turn.

  • Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • I thought it was at the end of your turn.

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Being anal about the rules has not

  • helped me in this time.

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • ED BRUBAKER: How strange.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You still have two moves.

  • WIL WHEATON: We need new rules, lawyer Ed.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So you could move across your pawn and get

  • a cube off of--

  • WIL WHEATON: Madrid or London.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Madrid has already been--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, this has also come up, too.

  • ED BRUBAKER: London is our problem.

  • Oh, London has come up?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: One or the other.

  • WIL WHEATON: They both just came up.

  • It's sort of like, I think again--

  • ED BRUBAKER: We have to re-shuffle.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's like take one off and just hope that if

  • we have to re-shuffle. then--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Which one has less connections?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's a great question.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Well, Ed, we know that Madrid is going to come

  • up if we hit another epidemic.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Madrid has--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because Madrid is on the bottom of that pile

  • right there.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, London is bad.

  • WIL WHEATON: London is in that pile, too.

  • ED BRUBAKER: London is bad, though.

  • London connects to one, two, three, four.

  • Madrid connects to one, two, three, four, five.

  • So Madrid is worse.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid is worse.

  • WIL WHEATON: So go to Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I always wanted to go to Madrid.

  • I should have had someone do that.

  • I'm wrecking your blocking.

  • WIL WHEATON: No, don't worry about it.

  • I'll get over it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I keep forgetting we're actually making a show.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's good!

  • That's good!

  • MORGAN WEBB: We're trying to save the world.

  • WIL WHEATON: The game works!

  • OK.

  • So now--

  • ED BRUBAKER: So tell us about "Star Trek," Wil.

  • WIL WHEATON: So now--

  • OK.

  • Turn's over.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Theoretically, your turn is over.

  • WIL WHEATON: Draw good cards.

  • Draw good cards, Ed.

  • Draw good cards.

  • Draw good cards.

  • Good cards.

  • Good cards.

  • Good cards.

  • Good cards.

  • Good cards.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Santiago.

  • WIL WHEATON: Santiago.

  • That's a good card.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Good.

  • We like that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: San Diego.

  • WIL WHEATON: Good card.

  • Good card.

  • Good card.

  • Good card.

  • Good card.

  • Ho Chi Minh City.

  • Good card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Ho Chi Minh City.

  • All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All right.

  • Excellent.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: See, I know that I'm playing Pandemic because

  • we've had two turns where no bad cards have come out.

  • And instead of feeling good, I just feel worse.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right.

  • That's right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Because you're like, oh there's still bad

  • cards in there.

  • MORGAN WEBB: They're in there.

  • WIL WHEATON: There's bad cards in there.

  • Yeah.

  • OK.

  • So let's--

  • Yep.

  • Yep.

  • ED BRUBAKER: This time I have to turn three of these?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yep.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That seems egregious.

  • WIL WHEATON: It is.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Santiago.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: No.

  • I don't like the look of that.

  • WIL WHEATON: Santiago is now a threat.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Well, it can't come up again.

  • New York.

  • WIL WHEATON: New York.

  • Boy, am I glad we cleaned New York.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, boy.

  • WIL WHEATON: And Khartoum.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Khartoum.

  • Where is Khartoum?

  • WIL WHEATON: That is where Robert is.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • Awesome.

  • No problem.

  • WIL WHEATON: That's so rude.

  • Like, you're there in everything.

  • And it's just like, I'm going to bring them and

  • make it more sick.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: He doesn't respect me.

  • WIL WHEATON: Not at all.

  • It's all imperialist Americans.

  • We hate you guys.

  • All right.

  • Robert, it is your turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Wait.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So when you guys were on break in between shots

  • on "The Next Generation," like what board games did you play?

  • WIL WHEATON: I painted Warhammer 40,000 figures in my

  • dressing room.

  • MORGAN WEBB: God, you're a nerd.

  • I painted them, too.

  • I wasn't very good at it, though.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Did Patrick Steward ever come in and help

  • you paint them?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Or did he do voices when you're

  • playing with them?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • But you know what we did do one time between scenes on

  • "Star Trek?" I taught Patrick Stewart how to juggle.

  • I was like, I can teach you how to juggle.

  • And he was like, no you can't.

  • I'm a Shakespearean bald man.

  • I knew you could never teach me--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • WIL WHEATON: Juggling is not for the likes of me.

  • And I was like, no, dude.

  • Watch.

  • I can teach you.

  • Because at the time--

  • Now reload your nerd line.

  • OK?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Reload nerd.

  • WIL WHEATON: At the time--

  • ED BRUBAKER: [SOUND OF A GUN COCKING]

  • She's got a full chamber.

  • WIL WHEATON: I was a card carrying member of the

  • International Jugglers' Association.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, my God.

  • You're such a nerd.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Wow.

  • WIL WHEATON: I carried with me a juggling prop bag.

  • In that prop bag, I had multiple juggling balls, rings

  • for juggling, multiple hacky sacks, in case I needed them.

  • I had bowling pins for juggling.

  • ED BRUBAKER: How old were you?

  • WIL WHEATON: I was like, 16.

  • And I had torches with fuel, in case I

  • wanted to set them aflame.

  • MORGAN WEBB: How many lights did you break?

  • WIL WHEATON: All of them.

  • All of them.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You bring out the bowling pins and everyone

  • says, please stop doing that.

  • WIL WHEATON: I was juggling once.

  • Set a shirt on fire.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Was it a Star Trek shirt?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • No.

  • It was the '80s, so it was probably a

  • Generra Hypercolor shirt.

  • And I set it on fire, and I was like, wow, that looks

  • really cool.

  • I didn't know it could do that.

  • And, oh, my God!

  • It burns!

  • It burns!

  • It's not just how ugly it is.

  • Ahhh!

  • ED BRUBAKER: So you taught Patrick Stewart how to juggle?

  • WIL WHEATON: I taught him how to juggle.

  • Not very well, but I taught him how to juggle in less than

  • 10 minutes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And then he leveled up

  • and became a knight.

  • WIL WHEATON: He leveled up and became a level one juggler.

  • And I believe that that was how he impressed the queen.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: The queen was like, Mr. Stewart.

  • We're looking for a fool.

  • He was like, I got this.

  • Wheaton taught me how to do it.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So the next show is going to be juggling, and

  • not board games?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's right.

  • Yeah.

  • But it's going to be me just sort of sadly

  • being forever alone.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So [INAUDIBLE]

  • James will come on that show with you.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Yeah.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Have some contact with you.

  • WIL WHEATON: We have a mutual friend who is a phenomenal

  • juggler, with like the spinning plates, and the cigar

  • boxes, and the whole--

  • MORGAN WEBB: And what does that get you out of life?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: He would say, not very much.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: I disagree.

  • I know, having done it, that there's something really

  • awesome about pulling out of a bag some, like three things,

  • and just being like, oh, watch what I can do.

  • Boop ba doop do.

  • Boop ba doop do.

  • Boop ba doop do.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Defying gravity.

  • WIL WHEATON: And then you do a thing where you're like, you

  • put two in each hand, and you move one up and down.

  • You're like, look.

  • It's like crazy magic.

  • MORGAN WEBB: My brain hurts even thinking about it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • When I was a kid, I totally kept--

  • I was trying to teach myself to juggle

  • for at least 15 minutes.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'll teach you how to juggle after the show.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I don't believe it

  • WIL WHEATON: I'll teach you how to do it.

  • I will teach you how to juggle, and then you, too, can

  • be a knight.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I think one directly follows the other.

  • Indirect causation.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Was this connected to your ren faire

  • days at all?

  • WIL WHEATON: Shut up, Ed.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So I've got this weird idea--

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --that at this point, things are kind of odd.

  • And I feel like I should be flying you actually to an

  • entirely separate location on the globe.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • I find that interesting.

  • But go ahead.

  • Because I feel like I am the only one containing the

  • situation over here.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I was going to say she is like the Florence Nightingale of

  • the zombie plague.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • I guess that's true.

  • I just feel--

  • MORGAN WEBB: I get called that a lot.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Either that or the Typhoid Mary of it.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm not sure.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I think I want the

  • Florence Nightengale thing.

  • WIL WHEATON: If we survive this turn, though--

  • I think Morgan is right.

  • If we survive this turn, she can wipe

  • out Bangkok and Kolkata--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: --on her next turn.

  • I mean, if you want to do that.

  • Right?

  • Because you're sort of like--

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's tempting, because I'm there, and I just

  • want to remove those little things from the board.

  • WIL WHEATON: They offend you.

  • I can tell.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I really don't like that.

  • WIL WHEATON: I know.

  • You're role playing the part of a medic very well.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I want not but to heal.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: But what I actually want to do is try to

  • be a little more forward thinking, and actually try to

  • cure some diseases.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's just wooden cubes on a board, but you care

  • about those little wooden cubes.

  • And it was bothering Morgan.

  • She was vibrating with energy that she was unable to move

  • one more city, and save all those people.

  • MORGAN WEBB: My first action--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's one.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That's one.

  • I mean, that's obvious.

  • The only unfortunate thing is like, I wouldn't be able to

  • get back Ho Chi Minh City, if I do this.

  • Two.

  • Three.

  • And then--

  • WIL WHEATON: And then you can move to Hong Kong, or--

  • You're getting closer.

  • You're going to be one away from where you want to be, no

  • matter what.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, but I can move you, actually, on my

  • turn, as well.

  • I don't have to just fly people to places.

  • I can move them once.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We may not get to your turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Ever the optimist.

  • Ever the optimist.

  • MORGAN WEBB: A minute ago, we were going to win this thing.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We're looking at a serious problem here.

  • As a researcher, I'm not sure we are going to

  • make one more turn.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Every time we turned a card over, we were so

  • afraid of getting that epidemic card.

  • I mean, just that fear sticks in your brain

  • as you turn it over.

  • And you're just like, OK.

  • Whoo.

  • Whoo.

  • Whoo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I mean, look at this.

  • Even Lagos has three.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I'm just going to-- we might as well get me

  • close, just in the crazy chance that

  • it's going to happen.

  • OK?

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Band-Aid, Band-Aid, Band-Aid.

  • Just like a Band-Aid!

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • You get to keep that.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh.

  • That's seven.

  • OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: You'll have to discard one.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • WIL WHEATON: And Bangkok.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Bangkok.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Look at that.

  • You have to discard one, but you no longer need--

  • MORGAN WEBB: Um, I'm going to keep this one because I feel

  • like we've got some shit going on over there.

  • I mean, stuff.

  • Whatever.

  • WIL WHEATON: No, there is shit going on.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • There's a major amount of shit with this

  • disease, I am certain.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Does somebody have--

  • WIL WHEATON: The odds are really against us.

  • We're probably down by four goals with maybe 15 minutes in

  • the third period.

  • And also, we're the Los Angeles Kings.

  • OK.

  • It is my turn.

  • I am going to go one, two, three.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Ahh.

  • WIL WHEATON: The zombie plague has been cured.

  • MORGAN WEBB: What?

  • WIL WHEATON: So now, what this means is that anyone who goes

  • to a place with a black cube can treat it

  • the way Morgan can.

  • We can wipe it out.

  • If we get all the black cubes off the board, that diseases

  • is then sunsetted--

  • MORGAN WEBB: It's going to be amazing.

  • WIL WHEATON: --which is great, because when those black cards

  • come out, it means that nothing happens.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: And there's actually-- your ability now

  • changes, because if everyone else was a

  • medic, that would be--

  • You know, it's like, well, then why am

  • I so special anymore?

  • Actually, now your ability is that any place that you walk

  • through, you cure every cube.

  • MORGAN WEBB: No.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It doesn't even count as an action.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Not even an action.

  • MORGAN WEBB: But only for black, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Just for black.

  • ED BRUBAKER: So you have basically switched from

  • Florence Nightingale to Jesus.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: This is the best game ever.

  • WIL WHEATON: I have one the action left.

  • And I am open to a suggestion from the table about what I

  • should do with it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: What cards do you have?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: He needs to get a yellow.

  • WIL WHEATON: I need another yellow.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Where am I?

  • You don't have a blue card.

  • You can't possibly get to me.

  • WIL WHEATON: But Robert could fly you to me.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, in the--

  • ED BRUBAKER: On your next turn.

  • So where could you get to?

  • Oh, OK.

  • So you've already done your thing.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: What yellow card did you have?

  • ED BRUBAKER: I have Santiago and Lagos.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: OK.

  • Nothing that's close to say, Miami, or anything like that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: So that's not as useful for that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: But if Wil went to Miami, then you could fly

  • me to Miami.

  • Oh, but that's not going to--

  • I can get to Miami in my turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • You'll probably just walk over and give him--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • I can just walk over.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --a yellow card.

  • That's fantastic.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I'm Jesus, too.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: Was Jesus ever in Miami?

  • ED BRUBAKER: This is a bad--

  • WIL WHEATON: Actually--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Let's talk to the Mormons.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: I guess it depends on who you ask.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • There's a Tony Award in that question.

  • WIL WHEATON: There's a lot of Jesuses in Miami.

  • OK.

  • So

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MORGAN WEBB: Their names are Jesus.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • My bad.

  • So what do we think?

  • Should I go to Miami, or should I just stay there.

  • Should I just stay in Atlanta?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, you should definitely not stay where you

  • are, because-- oh, I can still get to you.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Well, no.

  • But if he stays there, right, then you

  • can fly me over there.

  • He's got a research station.

  • That seems like a really good strategy, actually.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • Great.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Stay at the research station.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And then we ccan cure everything--

  • WIL WHEATON: Ready?

  • ED BRUBAKER: --from there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Bam!

  • St. Petersburg.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No biggie.

  • WIL WHEATON: And that.

  • Tokyo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: No biggie.

  • Tokyo can take it.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh wait, did I just--

  • I put the wrong thing.

  • WIL WHEATON: No, no, no, no, no, no!

  • These are just cards.

  • These are with all my glasses and my shoes.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Because we were about to have a ripple effect.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • Here we go.

  • Ready?

  • Moscow.

  • Sao Paulo.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Do you ever notice how HBO is always

  • playing "Moscow on the Hudson?"

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • Actually, if that comes on, then I actually turn off the

  • TV in protest.

  • Even if I was on my way to something I wanted to watch.

  • And Algiers.

  • ED BRUBAKER: OK.

  • So we've survived this turn.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't jinx us.

  • Don't jinx us.

  • WIL WHEATON: Stop saying that.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't jinx us.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It is a miracle.

  • WIL WHEATON: Stop saying that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Why is that blue and black?

  • WIL WHEATON: Because that was from the Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God.

  • WIL WHEATON: Remember the Madrid incident?

  • It was all over CNN.

  • MORGAN WEBB: We don't like to talk about that anymore.

  • WIL WHEATON: The Madrid incident was all over CNN, and

  • then like a pretty coed was kidnapped somewhere.

  • And then they went to wall to wall coverage of that instead.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was the best day of my life.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • It was great.

  • It was great.

  • And then there was that shark attack.

  • And they were like, oh, my God.

  • What story do we cover?

  • Split screen.

  • Shark attack.

  • Missing coed.

  • So that's the end of my turn.

  • Ed.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Make us proud.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I am going to go to--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I'll move your guy.

  • WIL WHEATON: Are you going to clean on your way?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Should I clean on the way?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I don't think you have enough actions.

  • That's one, and then two, three.

  • And then trade him a card.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yes.

  • You're right.

  • OK.

  • Then let's just move me to Wil, and I

  • will give you Lagos.

  • WIL WHEATON: Lagos.

  • MORGAN WEBB: And since you are the scientist,

  • you only need four.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is fantastic.

  • WIL WHEATON: So when we get to my turn--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We have two cures

  • coming down the pipeline.

  • A cure here, and a cure there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Wow.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It seems so far away.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It seems weird that the scientist wasn't just

  • sitting at the research station all along.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ED BRUBAKER: It seems like a good place

  • to be if I'm a scientist.

  • WIL WHEATON: There were some tropical places to go visit.

  • Listen.

  • The thing is, that in addition to being a scientist--

  • ED BRUBAKER: If you do some research.

  • WIL WHEATON: --I'm also a drug mule.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That's how he knows a guy in Bogota.

  • WIL WHEATON: What are you talking about?

  • I went to Bogota.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Are you saying he knows people.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: In Bogota.

  • Yeah.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was just for medical reasons.

  • WIL WHEATON: All right.

  • Ed.

  • Go ahead.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Draw theoretically good cards.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata.

  • Madrid.

  • Theoretically, and in reality--

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't understand where all the rest

  • of them are.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We've been on borrowed time.

  • We've been on borrowed time.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We've had three of those so now it's these.

  • Would you like to do the honor?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • This is making me think that we're going to back-to-back--

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Shush.

  • As soon as you feel like that, that's when the game just

  • comes back and tells you about--

  • ED BRUBAKER: Mumbai.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Mumbai.

  • ED BRUBAKER:We've cured that.

  • That's no biggie.

  • It doesn't even matter.

  • and

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, no.

  • It could still outbreak.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, but whatever.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Oh, God.

  • I don't like the look of that.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Jakarta.

  • WIL WHEATON: Jakarta.

  • That's got two blacks on it in Indonesia.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is some crap over that I don't

  • like the look of.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, it has two blacks from the--

  • Oh.

  • So what happens--

  • WIL WHEATON: That's not an outbreak.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh.

  • OK.

  • Good.

  • Good to know Baghdad.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • All right.

  • Robert, go.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We survived.

  • ED BRUBAKER: For one more turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Hooray.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I was skeptical we would get to you.

  • WIL WHEATON: Remember when we talked about how, like great

  • the tension of this game is?

  • My hands are sweating.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I know.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's like an entire season of "Breaking

  • Bad."

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Need to fly Morgan to the research

  • station, for sure.

  • Right?

  • WIL WHEATON: Yes.

  • Morgan, would you like to go to the research station?

  • MORGAN WEBB: I would love to go to the research station.

  • Look how cozy and wonderful that place looks.

  • Also, it's kind of a party over there.

  • WIL WHEATON: Ba da da da.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Da da da.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Da da da.

  • Oh, wait a second.

  • Oh, because she can cure without Wil.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Because I'm about to cure some disease.

  • I had the red cure in my hand.

  • People were going to name their children after me,

  • because I had eradicated one of Earth's great scourges.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Is it possible to win the game without adding

  • any research stations anywhere else?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We're about to find out.

  • WIL WHEATON: There's another special card called the

  • operations managers.

  • Is that what it is?

  • And that guy can build research stations anywhere.

  • You just sort of drop them anywhere you want.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that my next best move would be to

  • go in and kind of deal with Santiago a bit, I think.

  • WIL WHEATON: Agreed.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • OK.

  • So--

  • ED BRUBAKER: I hear there's some drug muling going on.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --one, two, three, and then I'll take a

  • cube off of Santiago.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: Wait.

  • Did you just use an extra move because you moved Morgan?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: That was one--

  • WIL WHEATON: That was a one, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: --and then two, and then three.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Then take a cube off.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Just look the other way, dude.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I don't-- it's really unfortunate that that

  • just happened.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's even spinning.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I know.

  • Mocking us.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep.

  • WIL WHEATON: It's so--

  • Why do you got to be like that, epidemic card?

  • All right.

  • Here we go.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Fortunately, there's a lot to shuffle.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Are the all the same?

  • WIL WHEATON: We are increasing the infection rate indicator.

  • We are drawing a card off the bottom of the deck, which is

  • Milan in Italy.

  • And now there's so many cards, I'm going to do this.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Three, right?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I was afraid you were going to say that.

  • But that's cool, actually.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It's not the worst thing in history.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • It could have been four.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It could have been really, really terrible.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, it could have been major.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Really?

  • ED BRUBAKER: We're going to win.

  • No biggie.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah, totally.

  • I agree.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: If we win, I'm flipping over a car.

  • Because it's happening.

  • WIL WHEATON: If we win, we are going to go out into the

  • streets of Los Angeles, and set some [BLEEP]

  • on fire.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Fire.

  • Fire.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Are you like that lady whose baby is

  • stuck under the car?

  • You're just going to flip it?

  • WIL WHEATON: Also, if we lose, we're going to go out into the

  • streets of LA and set some [BLEEP]

  • on fire.

  • Yeah.

  • That is what we do.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Just not my car.

  • OK?

  • WIL WHEATON: Morgan, your car is on the list.

  • MORGAN WEBB: His car.

  • His car is cool.

  • I mean whatever.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It's new, I understand.

  • MORGAN WEBB: He's trying to go green, anyway.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Exactly.

  • There you go.

  • WIL WHEATON: Few things are quite as green as setting a

  • car on fire.

  • That's science, kid.

  • Set a car on fire for planet Earth.

  • ED BRUBAKER: I always thought that was weird when the Earth

  • First people would light SUVs on fire.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Because burning truck tires and engines.

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, you know it looks good.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It is dramatic.

  • ED BRUBAKER: It's a great way to go to jail.

  • So how are we going to get through this?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: We're just not going to draw cards.

  • We're going to stop right now, declare ourselves victorious,

  • and walk away.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There's still another card, which is

  • probably another epidemic, at this point.

  • Unless it's quiet night.

  • Quiet night is still in there.

  • WIL WHEATON: I could just keep on shuffling these cards.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: For ever.

  • For ever.

  • WIL WHEATON: For ever.

  • All right.

  • So listen.

  • Before everybody yells at me--

  • MORGAN WEBB: All right.

  • WIL WHEATON: This is technically Robert's turn.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • Ready?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: All right.

  • MORGAN WEBB: OK.

  • WIL WHEATON: Khartoum.

  • OK.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There's one.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah.

  • WIL WHEATON: London.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, God.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Oh, no, no, no!

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Oh, no.

  • MORGAN WEBB: So now, Madrid.

  • ED BRUBAKER: Madrid hits everywhere.

  • MORGAN WEBB: It goes like this, and we're out of blues.

  • WIL WHEATON: Madrid hits here.

  • ED BRUBAKER: And we lost the game.

  • WIL WHEATON: Madrid hits London.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that we go to skull.

  • MORGAN WEBB: We're out of blues.

  • WIL WHEATON: We lose the game, actually, in

  • two different ways.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Right.

  • WIL WHEATON: We lose the game on outbreaks, and we

  • lose the game on--

  • what did we decide that was?

  • Swine flu?

  • MORGAN WEBB: The game was actually going pretty well.

  • We had a lot of really good draws there towards the end.

  • We had cures on the horizon.

  • We're like, we're going to win this thing.

  • And then we totally failed.

  • WIL WHEATON: I'm not even afraid of the

  • zombie outbreak anymore.

  • Even though it came up, and it threw its worst at us, we

  • kicked the zombie apocalypse in its undead nuts.

  • It was H1 nerd one that did us in.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • ED BRUBAKER: Yeah.

  • We were all in Atlanta.

  • WIL WHEATON: So--

  • [SIDE CONVERSATION]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: No.

  • ED BRUBAKER: That would have been resilient population.

  • WIL WHEATON: Yeah, we die in the epidemic.

  • Yeah.

  • There's no way of getting out of it.

  • ED BRUBAKER: There's no way out.

  • WIL WHEATON: OK.

  • So you guys--

  • ED BRUBAKER:Is this how the Stephen

  • Soderbergh movie ends, too?

  • WIL WHEATON: No, the Steven Soderbergh ends with me

  • walking out going, are you [BLEEP]

  • serious?

  • ED BRUBAKER: Really?

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: For real?

  • ED BRUBAKER: What happened?

  • WIL WHEATON: It's a terrible movie.

  • Everyone, we did the very best that we could.

  • We tried to save the world from the puking [BLEEP]

  • death flu.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Sometimes the world

  • doesn't want to be saved.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We stopped zombies.

  • WIL WHEATON: Sometimes the world

  • doesn't want to be saved.

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • WIL WHEATON: We did stop zombies.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: But H1 nerd one cannot be stopped.

  • ED BRUBAKER: H1 nerd one.

  • WIL WHEATON: We can take that.

  • But, yeah, it turns out that the PAX flu.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Um-hm

  • WIL WHEATON: So whoever was patient zero at PAX in 2009,

  • this loss is on you!

  • All right.

  • Let's go to the couch of defeat.

  • Pandemic box, you get to go downstairs

  • to the victory wall.

  • Try not to gloat.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WIL WHEATON: Well, we did our best.

  • MORGAN WEBB: Tell that to those people down there.

  • WIL WHEATON: The people that Robert killed?

  • MORGAN WEBB: Yeah.

  • Those people.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Hey!

  • Easy.

  • Easy.

  • I think we all killed them together.

  • All right?

  • MORGAN WEBB: It was your turn.

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: It was a team effort.

  • MORGAN WEBB: I say, for the record, it was your turn.

  • WIL WHEATON: I just want to point out--

  • ED BRUBAKER: That people suck?

  • And they deserve to die?

  • WIL WHEATON: No.

  • No.

  • No.

  • I just want to point out that we really did have a lot of

  • fun losing that game.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is true.

  • WIL WHEATON: That was great.

  • ED BRUBAKER: How much fun did the game have beating us?

  • WIL WHEATON: I'll find out.

  • ED BRUBAKER: We had more fun.

  • WIL WHEATON: Maybe.

  • I'll ask the game when I go downstairs to talk to it at

  • the wall of victory, right before I punch it in the face.

  • Listen, you guys.

  • We don't like anyone to go home empty handed when you

  • play on TableTop.

  • So we have given you a parting gift.

  • There was bubonic plague in your water.

  • MORGAN WEBB: That is so sweet.

  • WIL WHEATON: I know.

  • MORGAN WEBB: You think of everything.

  • WIL WHEATON: I do.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that swollen?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • [PUNCHING SOUND]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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