[all crying softly]

- She looks so perfect.

- Yeah, you'd barely even know her intestines

were splattered all over the asphalt.

- They did a great job packing them all back in.

- Mads, you'll always be one of us.

Just because you're dead

doesn't mean I won't stop busting your balls.

- That's exactly why you should stop.

- Lori, have some respect.

Now she just looks stupid!

[crying continues] - He's right.

I can't go half mustache.

- Mads, you--you're--

- I'm a ghost, bitches.

[all screaming]

[playful music]

- [man singing] This is America

Land of dreams

Everyone can climb higher

- [women singing] Not you, though

You're stuck here

'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah

- [man singing] You can do anything

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are

- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

With full-time dreams

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

Bad as it seems

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Whoa

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Oh~

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

Part Timers Season II - Episode 20

[all screaming]

- Guys, guys, why are we screaming?

- Ghost Mads and her brain from hell

are standing right there!

- I don't see anything.

[all shouting]

- She's waving at you. - Oh, my God.

[whispering] I can't see dead people.

- Mads, if only you just fell off the building

and not also got ran over.

Oh, why, oh, why does Pork E. Pine's

have to be next to a car wash?

- Pete, don't worry.

Dying really wasn't all that bad.

You know that feeling of peeing in a wet suit--

warm, cozy, you know you shouldn't be doing it,

but it feels so good?

all: Oh, yeah, - It does feel really nice.

- That's dying, in a nutshell.

Plus, now I have a supernatural power.

[magical tone] all: Aah!

- Wait. That's it?

You're a ghost and all you can do is make us do the wave?

- I'm working on it.

- Yeah, I got to say, that's pretty lame.

I was expecting way more than that.

- You know what else is lame?

Having a nice death and ending up back at Pork E. Pine's.

- If it's any consolation,

I'm glad you're here.

- Thanks, Pete.

- Can someone keep Dinger up to speed?

- Lost cause.

- You know, being stuck at my part-time job

was not my idea of the afterlife.

It wasn't even my idea of life-life.

- Maybe you're here because you have some unfinished business.

- Yeah, was there anything you wanted to do

while you were alive and didn't have a chance?

- [scoffs] Ah. Duh.

I never had sex with Pete.

all: Oh!

- You want me to release your soul

into all eternity using only my penis?

- Well, not only. Ever heard of foreplay?

- I've never even had sex with a living woman.

This is too much pressure. - Pete, calm down.

It's a totally natural rite of passage.

- "Natural"? It's necrophilia.

- No, no, no, that's if you had sex with my corpse.

This is totally different.

What we're talking about is ghost sex

with a ghost vagina.

It would be like having sex with a Jacuzzi jet.

- [sighs] Mads, I'm a virgin.

I've had relations with my fair share

of Jacuzzi jets...

but I just can't.

I'm sorry.

[sighs]

- [sighs]

Ella.

[magical tones]

- Where's Mads? - Don't tell him.

- Food counter. - Okay.

- I need you to help me seduce Pete.

- Uh, no. Sorry.

I'm not having another threesome.

If I learned one thing from the commune,

it's that you always want to stick with an even number.

- Did I get her? I think I got her.

- Keep trying, buddy. - Damn it.

- No, I don't want a threesome.

I just need some simple seduction advice.

How can I make myself irresistible to Pete?

- Oh, easy. Just talk about the sex moves

you're gonna do to him.

It'll make him less nervous. - Okay.

Well, I know one. - Mm, lay it on me.

- Okay, well, he's on top...

- Oh.

- And I'm on the bottom.

- Yeah.

- And then we make eye contact.

- Oh, so you like it like a nun?

- [sighs] This is why I need your help.

I need one of your signature moves.

- Okay, in your situation,

I'd probably go with a move I invented

called "the ouija board."

I won't go into too many details,

but let me just say, you'll be light as a feather.

He'll be stiff as a board.

- [laughs] Oh.

I get it.

- Ah, do you?

- Actually, no. I need details.

- Okay, so it starts with, you lay a piece of plywood...

[vacuum whirring loudly]

[continues indistinctly]

Slap him! Slap him! Slap him!

[continues indistinctly]

Fear in his eyes!

[continues indistinctly]

And if you didn't mush the banana,

you can eat it afterwards.

- Hmm. - I got her.

I got her, right?

[magical tone] Aah!

Aah! [both laughing]

[magical tone] - Hey.

- Oh! Oh! God!

- I know you're nervous about... you know.

But I talked to Ella, and she taught me a move

that will take it to a whole other level.

- Yeah, um, I've been thinking.

It's not really the lovemaking that I'm nervous about.

- It's not? - No.

It's pretty much

all I've been thinking about since I met you.

It's just that...

if we have sex

and you move on...

I won't ever see you again.

- But if we don't, I'll be trapped at Pork E. Pine's

for the rest of eternity.

- That seems fun, right?

You can be, like, my ghost girlfriend.

- Pete, could you imagine being trapped here forever?

It makes me want to kill myself, and I'm already dead.

If you love me, you'll bone me...

and set me free.

- Okay. We'll do it.

- Oh! Thanks, Pete!

Meet me in the staff room. I'm gonna go grab a banana.

[magical tone] He said yes!

- Aah!

Aw. I'm so happy for you.

[sighs] So I guess this is it for reals, huh?

Promise me you'll haunt my dreams.

- If that's how it works, then, yes.

I'm still figuring it out.

- [sighs] Rest in peace.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- Guys! Come say bye to Mads!

She's about to ghost-bust a nut!

Who you gonna call? - Ghostbust-nutters!

[chuckles] Ow.

- Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

You were the best at cleaning up gum off the bottom of tables.

- Aw, thanks.

I thought nobody noticed.

- Mads, I know we haven't always gotten along.

- Is that it? - Yeah.

- Ian, I can always count on you to underwhelm.

- Aw. You're underwhelm-come.

- [crying]

- Lori, it'll be okay.

- No, it won't.

You're the only employee who actually did her job.

[sniffles]

- Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

Hey, guys...

I can feel her.

- Nope. - Damn it.

- Dinger, I really want to say that I'll miss you the most.

But I'd be lying?

[all shouting] - Roasted!

- [laughing] Good one, Mads.

- Oh, you heard her. What'd she say?

- God damn it. -Um-hum

- Oh. Ow!

I don't think you know your supernatural strength.

- Shut up and ghost-French-kiss me.

I can't wait to haunt Little Pete.

Oh, I was wrong-- Big Pete.

- Okay, just... - Here...

- I got this. - Okay.

- Whew.

I can't believe this is gonna happen.

Oh, it's finally happening.

[both moan]

[groans]

It happened. - What?

- Did it...

happen for you?

- No. - Oh.

- Believe me, you'll know when it does.

Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here until that happens.

So want to try again?

- Okay. I think I'm in.

- Right, but you have to keep going.

- Okay.

[groans] Oh, no.

- Pete. - Sorry.

This time, I'm gonna wait until you're ready.

- Okay.

- Whoa!

What you doing, Pete?

- Dinger, get out!

[groans]

Oh, man.

- Pete, don't you dare.

- I got this. Don't worry.

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona,

Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut...

Connecticut!

Connecticut!

- Delaware!

[indistinct conversation] - Oh.

I think that means she did it. - Good-bye, Mads.

- Good luck organizing that big closet in the sky.

- [chuckles] - This one's to you.

- Guys! Guys! I did it!

- All right! - There you go!

- You know, I think this makes you a permanent member

of the Part-Timers Club.

- A member? He should be president.

Sex with you literally made a woman see God.

- Guys, it was awesome.

Although no one ever told me that part of sex

was having your body turn ice cold from the inside out.

I think my junk has frostbite.

- Uh, yeah, I think that only happens during human-ghost sex.

- I really am gonna miss her, though.

You guys think she'll visit?

- I don't know. [magical tone]

all: Oh!

[all chuckle] - Good one, Mads.

- Hey, who left a banana in the staff room?

Little mushy, but not bad.

The End