字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント - People come up to me all the time and ask me the same question over and over again. "Will you marry me?" And another question they ask is "Why don't you have kids?" And I love kids, I really do. I love babies, I love kids. They're cute, they're funny, they're sweet, but sometimes I'll see a picture it reminds me of why I don't have kids, and it gave me an idea for a new segment that I'm calling "Why I Don't Have Kids." All right, this first one is from an Instagram account called Kids Are the Worst. [laughter] Ugh. That's a screwdriver in her hand, and she just carved, "I love my dad," right into his car. That's a sweet sentiment, it really is. You should see what she did-- did you see what she did for Mother's Day? Mm. [laughter] Yeah. This next one was sent in by Kenny Roberts from La Crescenta, California. Oh. But she's cute. She's part-- I think she's half-Italian, half-terrier. By the way, both of those kids are up for immediate adoption. This is from an Instagram account called Moms Who Need Wine. Well, first of all, don't all moms need wine? I don't know. This is what they posted. [laughter] Mm. - Mm-mm. - No. It truly sucks to be a little brother. Nothing's gonna come out of there no matter how much they do that. This last one was sent in from Nikos Carly from Studio City, California. You know, who leaves kids with a bucket of paint? "Mommy's gonna run out to the store now, so here's some paint." Ah, this is why I love that you have kids and I don't.