I'll have an IPA.

Here you go.

And keep it open.

Did you know that 90% of all guys who use pick-up lines at this bar get turned down?

I mean, with those odds, why even bother coming here?

Ugh, it certainly isn't for this beer.

Talking about pick-up lines as a pick-up line — what are the chances of that working?

I dunno. You tell me.

I think someone just beat the odds.

This is not what I was expecting for our first date, and I love that.

What better place to have a date than the great outdoors with not a care in the world.

That's right.

Although, it is tick season, and not only are 50% of deer ticks infected with the Lyme disease bacterium, but 45% of visitors at this park are bitten by them. - Oh.

Oh.

We should check exposed areas, right?

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me check your ankles.

I think we're good.

Yeah, you're tick free.

You too!

We beat the odds.

- That's right, we did. - Yeah.

Look what I picked you up.

Really? You know there's a 7.8% chance of winning with a scratch-off ticket?

Come on, have a little bit of fun.

Oh, my god. Okay...

Wait a second. We won! We beat the odds.

We beat the odds? We... We beat the odds!

Oh, my god!

- Baby. - Mhm.

I think I'm ready to have sex.

- Wait, you mean "ready" ready? - Like, "ready" ready.

Well, you should know that even if we use condoms, there's an 18% failure rate and you might get pregnant.

Babe, you being factually accurate and responsible is really turning me on.

Philip, I have some news for you.

We're, um... Not pregnant.

- Oh, we beat the odds! - We beat the odds! - Yeah!

- Whoooo! - Suck it, 18%!

Candice, do you love me?

Of course I do, you goof.

We should get married.

What? Philip, don't you know weddings costs, on average like, $30,000 and 80% of those weddings are financed by that couple getting married. I mean, financially speaking, it's like a huge, huge risk.

Well, then let's just go to city hall.

Um, that'll be $40.

- 40 bucks?! - We beat the odds!

Yeah!

Whoo hoo! Yeah!

We're married, we're married, we're married!

Wait, wait, you do know that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce.

Well, we've always beaten the odds before.

We have, haven't we?

Sign here and there.

You are now officially divorced.

Well, we couldn't beat the odds forever.

Oh, you know what? I think the problem was when you [bleep] Barbara.