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  • (announcer) It's time for Inappropriate Parents!

  • Hey, does anyone want another serving of the Cornish hen?

  • - No. - No thanks, Mom.

  • Why are we eating all this fancy food?

  • I thought it was pizza night.

  • I made a special meal because your dad had a special day.

  • I finally got that promotion at work,

  • sold the most fire extinguishers this quarter.

  • So I think it's time to commemorate it with...

  • (both, monotonously) Celebratory scotch.

  • Why must you two always try to ruin these moments for me?

  • Because you celebrate everything.

  • - That's not true. - Yeah, it is true.

  • You celebrated being voted eighth most valuable player

  • on your softball team.

  • And then you celebrated removing the raccoon from the attic.

  • Yeah, and the raccoon just moved into my room.

  • This is much bigger than that.

  • Now, I know you kids are underage,

  • and probably the taste of alcohol is really gross to you,

  • but I wanted to share some of the celebratory scotch with you.

  • (disingenuously) Oh, that's nice of you, Dad.

  • Hmm.

  • This tastes watered down.

  • Have you been drinking my scotch

  • and filling it back up with water?

  • What? Why would you blame us?

  • Well, it's not your mother.

  • She's an adult. She can drink whenever she wants.

  • And I do!

  • Hmm. So you like to drink, do ya?

  • Well... why don't we just drink

  • everything from the liquor cabinet.

  • - What? - I think you're right.

  • - Are you serious? - Yeah, here we go.

  • - Wait, you can't do that. - Let's start with this one.

  • That's dangerous.

  • Trust us.

  • ♪ (Kung Pao O'Malley, "Party House") ♪

  • ♪ (man singing in Spanish) ♪

  • Why don't you just admit you took the alcohol?

  • No way. Dude.

  • Du--Dad, what would-- why would I take the drinks?

  • What do I have to celebrate?

  • - (laughs) - Heh, right?

  • (kids laugh)

  • You know, I just can't get through to you kids.

  • Do you know how proud I was of that work?

  • You know how hard it is to sell fire extinguishers

  • in this economy?

  • Do you know how many celebrities I had to tweet at?

  • I know I celebrate stupid things sometimes,

  • but this time-- this time it was different.

  • And I just wanted to share it with you two, but you two...

  • You know what? Just forget it. Forget the whole thing.

  • Dad. I'm sorry.

  • You're right. We drank the alcohol.

  • And we-- we do care about you.

  • And what we did was a horrible thing.

  • (inhales sharply)

  • Well, thank you for apologizing.

  • There is one more thing.

  • Also, I cheated on my calculus exam.

  • Kelsey, you're great at math.

  • I wanted to know what cheating felt like.

  • I needed the rush!

  • (flabbergasted) Kelsey.

  • Uh, well, thank you for coming clean with us, honey.

  • Appreciate that. But there is one more thing.

  • - We borrowed the car once. - Really?

  • - And we crashed it. - (both) What?

  • And then we bought an identical version of it

  • so you wouldn't know.

  • We owe so much in car payments.

  • (gasps) I'm upset and disappointed.

  • Uh... but we can work through this, you know? It's just a car.

  • I want to be just like Mom when I grow up.

  • Just fiercely independent but not afraid to speak my mind.

  • Thank you, honey.

  • Kelsey? Do you want to grow up to be just like Dad?

  • No. I don't want to be bad at softball

  • and good at fighting raccoons.

  • I need-- I need to rest for a second.

  • Yeah, me three.

  • - (plate clatters) - Well, this has been an experience.

  • Have you two learned your lesson?

  • And one more thing.

  • All these drinks were nonalcoholic.

  • (parents laughing)

  • We knew that you took the alcohol for your little party.

  • (Dad) That you didn't think we knew about.

  • So we set up this ruse.

  • A big bunch of jerks is what you are.

  • (Kelsey chuckles) The gazebo effect.

  • You know, honey? We're great parents.

  • - Yeah. - I think we should toast.

  • - Why don't you go get the good stuff? - Okay! Yeah.

  • Now, kids, remember the lesson here.

  • Don't lie to your parents, because we need to be here

  • to teach you the difference between right and wrong.

  • (Mom) Mm-hmm.

  • - (chuckles) - Cheers.

  • This is the nonalcoholic stuff.

  • (Dad) So we've been giving the real alcohol to the kids?

  • (Mom) I'll take them to the hospital.

  • (Dad) Actually, the lesson is,

  • what's it like to have alcohol poisoning?

  • Come. Come with me. Come on.

  • We'll go to the car. Let's go to the car.

  • (Mom) Easy does it. Here we go.

  • Oh no. Oh my god.

  • (speaking indistinctly)

  • ♪ (end music) ♪

(announcer) It's time for Inappropriate Parents!

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イナプリエイト・ペアレンツ - EPISODE 5 - THE HARD WAY (INAPPROPRIATE PARENTS - EPISODE 5 - THE HARD WAY)

  • 68 2
    Pedroli Li に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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