Shall we leave the house?

Yes

This is how I leave the house almost every day

Lucas!! Oscar!!

Come downstairs!!

Were late!!

Why aren't you downstairs?

Put your shoes on

"I don't know where my shoes are"

Put your shoes on, go and find your shoes

Where did you see them last?

"On my feet"

After that?

Get your shoes on

Come here, come here, arms up arms up, arms in, arms in, arms up, arms up, arms in.

That's my wife, she's so tired that she can't dress herself

"Arms in? What arms darling?" "Where are we going? I want to go to bed"

Darling you have got Luca's shoes on your hands

I found your shoes darling

You put your shoes on

Wheres Ozy?

Come downstairs, were late!

Put your coat on

"I don't want to wear my coat"

You know people without children how they do the zips up. I have seen how much time

that you have in your lives.

How you focus on it

You pause, thinking about your free life and what you might do later that day.

Do you think that I have time for that shit in my life?

Every single morning

Stay still

You are going to have to put a new coat on I can't I have ruined the zip, I have ruined

the zip. I'm sorry I have made the situation worse.

Ozy!!

My three year old will never come downstairs.

The only way to get him to leave the house is to bluff, we have to pretend we are leaving

without him

It's the only way it will work and we all have to go "Bye bye Ozy" "Were all going then"

My other son loves it the six year old loves it

"We leaving Ozy, he going to stay here?"

"I hate him, I hate him"

Don't be so rude about your brother

Say good bye, were not really leaving were pretending to leave okay? Say good bye

"Bye bye Ozy, bye bye"

He doesn't care, he just goes

"Bye bye"

Then we have to come back in and explain to him that were not really leaving.

We love you and it's okay, I will buy you something if you come. Will you come if I

buy you something?

This is every single time we leave the house

The other day we are leaving the house and I just had enough I just say to my wife I'm

sorry I can't do this.

Were bluffing, were saying bye bye to him and my wife says "Lets go and get him"

I say stop! No, No I can not go through this every single time we leave the house. It's

driving me insane.

Okay I say, I say we call his bluff I think he has to learn a lesson okay?

Lets go, lets just go to Corfu lets have a nice holiday