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  • Before I begin my presentation

  • I want to say it's a great honor for me to be part of a program

  • with so many impressive women.

  • I also want to say thank you to the organizers

  • [who invited] me to be part of this.

  • It's important that I say and that men say

  • when we do the work that we do,

  • especially in the field of gender violence prevention

  • that I'm going to talk with you about this morning,

  • it's important that we acknowledge that the growing movement of men

  • in the United States in a multicultural sense

  • and all around the world in an international sense,

  • the growing movement of men

  • who are standing up and speaking out

  • about men's violence against women,

  • and going into parts of male culture

  • that have historically been either apathetic about

  • or openly hostile to women's efforts to engage them,

  • that movement of men

  • is indebted to the leadership of women

  • on a personal level,

  • on a professional level,

  • on political level,

  • on an intellectual level,

  • on every level -

  • women built these movements

  • and these are movements that are affecting

  • in a positive way everybody.

  • Not just women and girls

  • but also men and boys.

  • And often times men like myself

  • get a lot of credit and public acclaim for doing the work

  • that women have been doing for a long time.

  • So one of the ways that we can use the spotlight

  • is to thank women and honor women's leadership,

  • going forward today, tomorrow, and you know, into the future.

  • (Applause)

  • Having said that,

  • I'm going to share with you a paradigm shifting perspective

  • on the issues of gender violence -

  • sexual assault, domestic violence, relationship abuse, sexual harassment,

  • sexual abuse of children, that whole range of issues

  • that I'll refer to in short hand as gender violence issues.

  • They have been seen as women's issues that some good men help out with.

  • But I have a problem with that frame and I don't accept it.

  • I don't see these as women's issues that some good men help out with.

  • In fact I'm going to argue that these are men's issues, first and foremost.

  • (Applause)

  • Obviously, they are also women's issues, so I appreciate that,

  • but calling gender violence a women's issue

  • is part of the problem, for a number of reasons.

  • The first is, it gives men an excuse

  • not to pay attention, right?

  • A lot of men hear the term 'women's issues'

  • and we tend to tune it out, and we think

  • "Hey, I'm a guy, that's for the girls, for the women."

  • And a lot of men literally don't get beyond the first sentence as a result.

  • It's almost like a chip in our brain is activated,

  • and the neural pathways take our attention in a different direction

  • when we hear the term "women's issues".

  • This is also true by the way of the word "gender"

  • because a lot of people hear the word "gender"

  • and they think it means "women".

  • So they think "gender issues" is synonymous with "women's issues".

  • There is some confusion about the term "gender",

  • and actually let me illustrate that confusion by a way of analogy.

  • So let's talk for a moment about race.

  • In the US, when we hear the word "race",

  • a lot of people think that means African-American,

  • Latino, Asian-American, Native American,

  • South Asian, Pacific, on and on.

  • A lot of people, when they hear the word "sexual orientation",

  • think it means "gay", "lesbian", "bisexual".

  • And a lot of people when they hear the word "gender",

  • think it means "women".

  • In each case,

  • the dominant group doesn't get paid attention to, right?

  • As if white people don't have some sort of racial identity,

  • or belong to some racial category or construct?

  • As if heterosexual people don't have a sexual orientation?

  • As if men don't have a gender?

  • This is one of the ways

  • that dominant systems maintain and reproduce themselves,

  • which is to say

  • the dominant group is rarely challenged to even think about it's dominance,

  • because that's one of the key characteristics of power and privilege:

  • the ability to go unexamined, lacking introspection,

  • in fact being rendered invisible in large measure

  • in the discourse about issues that are primarily about us.

  • And this is amazing how this works

  • in domestic and sexual violence,

  • how men have been largely erased

  • from so much of the conversation

  • about a subject that is centrally about men.

  • And I'm going to illustrate what I'm talking about

  • by using the old-tech.

  • I'm old school on some fundamental regards.

  • I make films, I work with high-tech,

  • but I'm still old school as an educator.

  • And I want to share with you this exercise,

  • that illustrates on a sentence structure level

  • how the way that we think,

  • literally the way that we use language,

  • conspires to keep our attention off of men.

  • This is about domestic violence in particular

  • but you can plug in other analogues.

  • This comes from the work of the feminist linguist Julia Penelope.

  • It starts with a very basic English sentence

  • "John beat Mary" - that's a good English sentence,

  • John is the subject, beat is the verb, Mary is the object.

  • good sentence.

  • Now we're going to move to the second sentence

  • which says the same thing in the passive voice:

  • "Mary was beaten by John"

  • and now a whole lot has happened in one sentence.

  • We've gone from "John beat Mary" to

  • "Mary was beaten by John", we've shifted our focus

  • in one sentence, from John to Mary.

  • And you can see John is very close to the end of the sentence,

  • close to dropping off the map of our psychic plane.

  • The third sentence, John is dropped, and we have,

  • "Mary was beaten" and now it's all about Mary.

  • We're not even thinking about John, it's totally focussed on Mary.

  • Over the past generation

  • the term we've used synonymous with "beaten" is "battered",

  • so we have, "Mary was battered."

  • And the final sentence in this sequence,

  • flowing from the others,

  • is "Mary is a battered woman."

  • So now Mary's very identity,

  • "Mary is a battered woman,"

  • is what was done to her by John in the first instance,

  • but we've demonstrated

  • that John has long ago left the conversation.

  • Now those of us who work in domestic and sexual violence field know

  • that victim blaming is pervasive in this realm,

  • which is to say

  • blaming the person to whom something was done

  • rather than the person who did it.

  • And we say things like,

  • Why do these women go out with these men?

  • Why are they attracted to them? Why do they keep going back?

  • What was she wearing at that party?

  • Why was she drinking with this group of guys in that hotel room?

  • This is victim blaming.

  • And there are numerous reasons for it,

  • but one of them is that our whole cognitive structure

  • is set up to blame victims.

  • It's all unconscious,

  • our whole cognitive structure is set up to ask questions

  • about women and women's choices,

  • and what they are doing, thinking and wearing.

  • And I'm not going to shout down people who ask questions about women,

  • it's a legitimate thing to ask.

  • But let's be clear.

  • Asking questions about Mary is not going to get us anywhere

  • in terms of preventing violence.

  • We have to ask a different set of questions

  • and you see where I'm going with this.

  • The questions are not about Mary, but about John.

  • The questions like,

  • Why does John beat Mary?

  • Why is domestic violence still a big problem in the Unites States

  • and all over the world? What's going on?

  • Why so many men abuse

  • physically, emotionally, verbally and in other ways

  • the women and girls and the men and boys that they claim to love?

  • What's going on with men?

  • Why do so many adult men sexually abuse little girls and little boys?

  • Why is that a common problem in our society

  • and all over the world today?

  • Why we hear over and over again about

  • new scandals erupting in major institutions

  • like the Catholic Church or the Penn State Football Program

  • or the Boy Scouts of America? On and on and on!

  • And in local communities all over the country and all the world.

  • We hear about it all the time - sexual abuse of children.

  • What's going on with men?

  • Why do so many men rape women

  • in our society and around the world?

  • Why do so many men rape other men?

  • What is going on with men?

  • And then -

  • What is the role of the various institutions in our society

  • that are helping to produce the abuse of men at pandemic rates?

  • Because this is not about individual perpetrators.

  • That's a naive way of understanding

  • what is a much deeper and more systematic social problem.

  • You know, the perpetrators aren't these monsters

  • who crawl out of the swamp and come into town

  • and do their nasty business

  • and then retreat into the darkness.

  • That's a very naive notion, right?

  • Perpetrators are much more normal than that and everyday than that.

  • So the questions is,

  • What are we doing here in our society

  • and in the world?

  • What are the roles of various institutions

  • in helping to produce abusive men?

  • What is the role of religious belief systems?

  • The sports culture, the pornography culture,

  • the family structure, economics?

  • And how that intersects?

  • And race and ethnicity and how that intersects?

  • How does all this work?

  • And then, once we start making those kinds of connections

  • and asking those important and big questions,

  • then we can talk about how can we be transformative.

  • You know, how can we do something differently,

  • how can we change the practices?

  • How can we change the socialization of boys

  • and the definitions of manhood

  • that lead to these current outcomes?

  • These are the kind of questions

  • that we need to be asking

  • and the kind of work that we need to be doing.

  • But if we're endlessly focused on

  • what women are doing and thinking

  • in relationships or elsewhere

  • we're not going to get to that piece.

  • Now I understand

  • that a lot of women who have been trying to speak out about these issues

  • today and yesterday and for years and years

  • often get shouted down for their efforts.

  • They get called nasty names like

  • "male-basher"

  • and "man-hater"

  • and the disgusting and offensive "feminazi".

  • Right?

  • And you know what all this is about?

  • It's called "kill the messenger".

  • It's because the women who are standing up and speaking up

  • for themselves and for other women

  • as well as for men and boys,

  • it's a statement to them to sit down and shut up.

  • Keep this current system in place

  • because we don't like it when people rock the boat,

  • we don't like it when people challenge our power.

  • You better sit down and shut up, basically.

  • And thank goodness that women haven't done that!

  • Thank goodness that we live in a world

  • where there is so much women's leadership

  • that can counteract that.

  • But one of the powerful roles that men can play in this work

  • is that we can say some things that sometimes women can't say.

  • Or better yet,

  • we can be heard saying some things

  • that women often can't be heard saying.

  • Now I appreciate, that's a problem, it's sexism, but it's the truth.

  • And so one of the things my colleagues and I always say, is,

  • we need more men who have the courage and the strength

  • to start standing up

  • and saying some of this stuff

  • and standing with women and not against them

  • pretending that somehow this is a battle between the sexes

  • and other kinds of nonsense.

  • We live in the world together.

  • And by the way, one of things that really bothers me

  • about some of the rhetoric against feminist and others

  • who have built the battered women's, and crisis movements around the world

  • is that somehow, like I said,

  • that they're "anti male".

  • What about the boys who are profoundly affected

  • in a negative way,

  • by what some adult man is doing against their mother,

  • themselves, their sisters?

  • What about all those boys?

  • What about all the young men and boys

  • who have been traumatized by adult men's violence?

  • You know what,

  • the same system that produces men who abuse women,

  • produces men who abuse other men.

  • And if you want to talk about male victims, let's talk about them.

  • Most male victims of violence

  • are the victims of other men's violence.

  • So it's something

  • that both women and men have in common.

  • We are both victims of men's violence.

  • So we have it in our direct self-interest -

  • not to mention the fact that most men that I know

  • have women and girls that we care deeply about.

  • In our families, in our friendship circles,

  • and in every other way.

  • So there is so many reasons why we need men to speak out.

  • It seems obvious saying it out loud doesn't it?

  • The nature of the work that I do and my colleagues do,

  • in the sports culture, in the US military, in schools,

  • we pioneer this approach

  • called the "bystander approach"

  • to gender violence prevention.

  • And I just want to give you

  • the highlights of the bystander approach,

  • because it's a big, sort of, thematic shift,

  • although there is lots of particulars.

  • The heart of it is:

  • Instead of seeing men as perpetrators,

  • women as victims,

  • or women as perpetrators, men as victims,

  • or any combination in there.

  • I'm using the gender binary.

  • I know there is more than men and women,

  • more than male and female.

  • And there are women who are perpetrators,

  • and of course men who are victims, there's a whole spectrum.

  • But instead of seeing it in a binary fashion,

  • we focus on all of us as what we call bystanders.

  • And a bystander is defined as anybody

  • who is not a perpetrator or a victim in a given situation.

  • So in other words:

  • friends, teammates, colleagues, coworkers,

  • family members,

  • those of us who are not directly involved in a dyad of abuse.

  • But we are embedded

  • in social family, work, school,

  • and other peer culture relationships

  • with people who might be in that situation.

  • What do we do? How do we speak up?

  • How do we challnge our friends?

  • How do we support our friends?

  • But how do we not remain silent in the face of abuse?

  • Now when it comes to men and male culture,

  • the goal is to get men who are not abusive to challenge men who are.

  • And when I say abusive,

  • I don't mean just men who are beating women.

  • We're not just saying that a men

  • whose friend is abusing his girlfriend

  • needs to stop the guy, at the moment of attack.

  • I mean, that's a naive way of creating a social change.

  • It's along a continuum

  • we're trying to get men to interrupt each other.

  • So for example if you are a guy

  • and you are in a group of guys,

  • playing poker, talking, hanging out, no women present,

  • and another guy says

  • something sexist or degrading or harassing about women,

  • instead of laughing along

  • or pretending you didn't hear it,

  • we need men to say,

  • "Hey, that's not funny."

  • "You know it could be my sister you're talking about.

  • Can you joke about something else?"

  • or "I don't appreciate that kind of talk."

  • Just like if you are a white person

  • and another white person makes a racist comment,

  • you'd hope - I hope -

  • that white people would interrupt that racist enactment

  • by a fellow white person.

  • Just like with heterosexism,

  • if you are a heterosexual person,

  • and you yourself don't enact harassing or abusive behavior

  • towards people of varying sexual orientations.

  • If you don't say something

  • in the face of other heterosexual people doing that, then in a sense,

  • isn't your silence a form of consent and complicity?

  • Well, the bystander approach

  • is trying to give people tools to interrupt that process

  • and to speak up

  • and to create a peer culture climate

  • where the abusive behaviour will be seen as unacceptable,

  • not just because it's illegal,

  • but because it's wrong and unacceptable in the peer culture.

  • And if we can get to the place

  • where men who act out in sexist ways

  • will loose status,

  • young men and boys who act out in sexist and harassing ways

  • towards girls and women,

  • as well as towards other boys and men,

  • will loose status as result of it, guess what?

  • We'll see a radical diminution of the abuse,

  • because the typical perpetrator is not sick and twisted,

  • he's normal guy in every other way, isn't he?

  • Among the many great things

  • that Martin Luther King said in his short life was,

  • "In the end, what will hurt most is not the words of our enemies,

  • but the silence of our friends."

  • "In the end, what will hurt most is not the words of our enemies,

  • but the silence of our friends."

  • There has been an awful lot of silence in male culture

  • about this ongoing tragedy

  • of men's violence against women and children, hasn't there?

  • There has been an awful lot of silence.

  • And all I'm saying

  • is that we need to break that silence.

  • And we need more men to do that.

  • It's easier said than done.

  • Because, I'm saying it now, but I'm telling you,

  • it's not easy in male culture

  • for guys to challenge each other.

  • Which is one of the reasons why,

  • part of the paradigm shift that has to happen

  • is not just understanding these issues as men's issues,

  • but they are also leadership issues for men.

  • Ultimately, the responsibility

  • for taking a stand on these issues

  • should not fall on the shoulders of little boys

  • or teenage boys in high school

  • or college men.

  • It should be on adult men with power.

  • Adult men with power are the ones we need to be holding accountable

  • for being leaders on these issues.

  • Because, when somebody speaks up in a peer culture

  • and challenges and interrupts,

  • he or she is being a leader, really, right?

  • But on a big scale,

  • we need more adult men with power

  • to start prioritizing these issues

  • and we haven't seen that yet, have we?

  • Now, I was at a dinner a number of years ago,

  • and I worked extensively with the US military, all their services.

  • And I was at this dinner, and this woman said to me

  • - I think she thought she was a little clever, she said,

  • "So how long have you been doing

  • sensitivity training with the marines?"

  • And I said, "With all due respect,

  • I don't do sensitivity training with the marines.

  • I run a leadership program in the marine corps."

  • Now I know it's a bit pompous, my response,

  • but it's an important distinction, because I don't believe

  • that we need a sensitivity training.

  • We need leadership training.

  • Because, for example,

  • when a professional coach

  • or a manager of a baseball team or a football team

  • - and i work extensively in that realm as well -

  • makes a sexist comment,

  • makes a homophobic statement,

  • makes a racist comment,

  • there'll be discussions on the sports blogs

  • and in sports talk radio,

  • and some people say,

  • "Well, he needs sensitivity training."

  • Others will say,

  • "Get off it, that's political correctness run amok,"

  • and "He made a stupid statement, move on..."

  • My argument is, he doesn't need sensitivity training,

  • he needs leadership training.

  • Because he's being a bad leader,

  • because in a society with gender diversity and sexual diversity,

  • (Applause)

  • and racial and ethnic diversity,

  • you make those kinds of comments,

  • you're failing at your leadership.

  • If we can make this point that I'm making

  • to powerful men and women in our society

  • at all levels of institutional authority and power,

  • it's going to change.

  • It's going to change the paradigm of people's thinking.

  • For example, I work a lot in college and university athletics

  • throughout North America, right.

  • We know so much about how to prevent domestic and sexual violence, right?

  • There is no excuse for a college or university to not have

  • domestic and sexual violence prevention training

  • mandated for all student athletes,

  • coaches and administrators

  • as part of their educational process.

  • We know enough to know that we can easily do that

  • but you know what's missing?

  • The leadership!

  • It's not the leadership of student athletes.

  • It's the leadership of the athletic director,

  • the president of the University,

  • the people in charge who make decisions about resources and priorities

  • in the institutional settings, right?

  • That's a failure, in most cases of men's leadership.

  • Look at Penn State.

  • Penn State is the mother of all teachable moments

  • for the bystander approach.

  • You had so many situations in that realm

  • where men in powerful positions

  • failed to act to protect children, in this case boys.

  • It's unbelievable, really, but when you get into it,

  • you realize there are pressures on men,

  • there are constraints within peer cultures on men

  • which is why we need to encourage men

  • to break through those pressures.

  • And one of the ways to do that

  • is to say there is an awful lot of men

  • who care deeply about these issues.

  • I know this. I work with men.

  • I've been working with tens and hundreds of thousands of men

  • for many many decades now.

  • It's scary when you think about it how many years, but ...

  • There is so many men

  • who care deeply about these issues,

  • but caring deeply is not enough.

  • We need more men

  • with the guts, with the courage, with the strength,

  • with the moral integrity

  • to break our complicit silence

  • and challenge each other,

  • and stand with women, not against them.

  • By the way, we owe it to women

  • there's no question about it.

  • But we also owe it to our sons,

  • we also owe it to young men

  • who are growing up all over the world

  • in situations where they didn't make the choice

  • to be a man in a culture that tells them that manhood is a certain way.

  • They didn't make the choice

  • we that have a choice, have an opportunity

  • and a responsibility to them as well.

  • I hope that going forward

  • men and women working together

  • can begin the change

  • and a transformation that will happen

  • so that future generations won't have the level of tragedy

  • that we deal with on a daily basis.

  • I know we can do it.

  • We can do better.

  • Thank you very much. (Applause)

Before I begin my presentation

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TEDx】女性に対する暴力-それは男性の問題。ジャクソン・カッツ、TEDxFiDiWomenにて (【TEDx】Violence against women—it's a men's issue: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen)

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    Max Lin に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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