[indistinct chatter]

OKAY, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN.

SETTLE DOWN.

THAT INCLUDES YOU, MR. RODRIGUEZ.

DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE MILK CARTON OFF OF YOUR HEAD?

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY.

HE'S FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

AND HE'S A FORMER GANG MEMBER,

AND HE'S COMING HERE THIS MORNING TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT LIFE CHOICES.

SO, PLEASE, GIVE A WARM CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL WELCOME

TO DONNIE HERRERA.

[applause]

- I USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU...

[melancholy piano music]

JUST LIKE YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU.

USED TO CLOWN AROUND...

MAKE FUN OF THE PRINCIPAL...

PUT MILK ON MY HEAD,

JUST LIKE YOU, RODRIGUEZ.

AND THEN...

I GOT HIT WITH AIDS.

CONSEQUENCES.

GOT INTO SOME REAL TROUBLE, BOY.

STOLE FROM MY MOM AND DAD...

STOLE FROM MY OWN SISTER!

AND THEN ONE DAY...

A PIANO FELL ON MY HEAD.

- WHAT? - CONSEQUENCES.

- I FEEL LIKE HE MISSED A STEP THERE.

- GAVE ME 88 CONCUSSIONS,

ONE FOR EACH KEY.

YOU'D THINK I'M LEARNING, BUT, NO.

SEE, I'M JUST LIKE YOU.

I GOT BACK OUT THERE,

STARTED MAKING SOME REAL CRIMES, HOMEBOY.

OH, YEAH.

OH, YEAH.

AND THEN...

I GOT TRAMPLED BY A HERD OF BUFFALO.

- WHAT? - CONSEQUENCES.

- OKAY, DONNIE, I THINK WE'VE HAD ENOUGH.

- NOT DONE WITH MY STORY!

I WAS LIKE YOU!

I DECIDED IT'D BE COOL

TO HANG OUT WITH SOME OF THE TOUGH KIDS.

MM. YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.

THEY WERE HANGING ON THE STREETS LATE AT NIGHT.

MORE THAN CIGARETTE SMOKERS, HOMES.

AND THEN...

ONE DAY I GOT SHOT OUT OF A CATAPULT.

- THAT'S IT. OKAY.

- INTO THE MOUTH OF A DRAGON!

- STUDENTS, EVERYTHING YOU'VE HEARD HERE TODAY IS A LIE.

- I DON'T LIE ANYMORE.

- YOU'RE ALL EXCUSED.

- LOOK AT ME! - PLEASE, I APOLOGIZE.

- I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!

- THANK YOU, AURELIO.

I APOLOGIZE, DENISE.

- SO I GOT REALLY DEEP INTO CRIME.

I DID A DRIVE-BY AT MY OWN DAUGHTER'SQUINCEAÑERA!

YEAH, SHOT UP EVERYBODY-- DEAD, KILLED!

YEAH!

YEAH!

THEN I GOT SUCKED INTO A WORMHOLE.

CONSEQUENCES.

- THAT'S IT. OKAY. EVERYBODY GO.

- I WAS IN ANOTHER DIMENSION,

TRIED TO INTRODUCE MY OWN PARENTS TO EACH OTHER.

ALMOST FAILED. ARM WAS DISAPPEARING.

- I'VE HAD IT.

- I INVENTEDJOHNNY B. GOODE■ AT MY PARENTS' PROM,

AND AT THE LAST MOMENT, THEY KISSED, AND IT CAME BACK.

- THE FASTER WE GET AWAY FROM HIM, THE BETTER.

- BUT NOBODY BELIEVE ME!

WHERE'S MY CRACK? WHERE'S MY CRACK?

OH.

[booming crash]

OH!

CONSEQUENCES!