NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.

COUSIN DELROY'S GETTING MARRIED...

all: MM-HMM.

- TO A MAN.

WHICH IS CRAZY. - MM-HMM.

- AND WE'RE IN SUPPORT, AND, UH, WE JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP

WITH THE PARTICULARS OF A GAY WEDDING.

WHAT I'VE DONE IS I TOOK THE INITIATIVE

TO GET MY FRIEND GARY IN HERE,

WHO'S--I MEAN, HE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND.

HE'S A COWORKER OF MINE WHO HAPPENS

TO BE A ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY,

AND HE'S GONNA GIVE US SOME ADVICE ON,

YOU KNOW, WHA--WHAT TO DO.

SO, GARY, WHA--WHAT CAN-- WHAT CAN WE EXPECT?

- ALL RIGHT.

WELL, FIRST OF ALL, GUYS,

THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME HERE,

AND I THINK IT'S REALLY AMAZING

WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING FOR YOUR COUSIN DELROY.

REALLY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY, BASICALLY, THAT A GAY WEDDING

IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING.

YES? YES, SIR.

- SO THEN DO THE MEN WEAR DRESSES AND THEN

THE WOMEN WOULD WEAR SUITS?

- NO. NO, NO, NO.

YOU WOULD JUST WHERE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR

AT A--AT A STRAIGHT WEDDING.

- NOW, NONE OF US ARE GAY, SO I ASSUME

THAT WE WOULD ALL SIT THEN IN THE STRAIGHT SECTION.

- THE STRAIGHT SECTION? - YEAH.

- OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION.

HE MEANS AS OPPOSED TO THE GAY SECTION.

- NO, NO, THERE'S--THERE'S-- THERE'S NO SECTIONS, GUYS.

- BUT THE GAY PEOPLE... - NO, NO, NO.

WHAT--YOU WOULD JUST SIT-- - AND THEN THE STRAIGHT?

- NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME JUST FOR A SECOND.

- BUT THEN THE AISLE. - YOU WOULD JUST--

YOU WOULD JUST SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON

THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH OR THAT YOUR FAMILY'S MEMBERS,

JUST LIKE IN A STRAIGHT WEDDING.

- SO WE JUST GUESS WHO'S GAY.

- OR NOT. YOU COULD JUST--YEAH.

- WE'LL GUESS WHO'S GAY.

- OKAY. GUESS WHO--

- WHEN IN THE CEREMONY DO WE SINGOVER THE RAINBOW?

- WELL, YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T.

THIS IS A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY, SO YOU--

YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGING THAT DURING THE SERVICE.

- OH, ALL RIGHT. - YOU DONE WITH THE QUESTIONS?

- NO, I'M JUST ASKING.

- I'M NERVOUS 'CAUSE I CAN ONLY DO JAZZ HANDS

FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES 'FORE MY HANDS START TO CRAMP.

- OH, SIR, I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA EXPECT YOU--

I DON'T THINK ANY-- I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA

EXPECT YOU TO HAVE TO DO JAZZ HANDS.

- NOW CAN WE SEE THE PONY SHOW FROM THE STRAIGHT SECTION?

OR ARE WE WAY IN THE BACK SOMEWHERE?

- MA'AM, AGAIN, THERE'S NO STRAIGHT SECTION.

WHAT IS A PONY SHOW?

- YOU KNOW, WHEN Y'ALL GO LIKE THIS.

- NO, THERE WON'T BE--

THERE WON'T BE ANY OF THIS DURING THE CEREMONY.

- OH. OH.

- WHEN DO WE SING YMCA?

- OH. - SIR, NOT DURING THE CEREMONY.

- OKAY.

- WHAT ABOUTMACHO, MACHOMAN? - NO.

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BUY NO GAY PRESENTS.

- WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT A GAY PRESENT IS.

USUALLY, WHAT COUPLES DO IS THEY JUST--

THEY JUST REGISTER AT A STORE...

- HUH.

- LIKE A STRAIGHT COUPLE WOULD.

- THE GAY STORE, OR-- - JUST A REGULAR STORE.

- WHERE DO YOU GET THE EUROS TO BUY GAY GIFTS?

- ARE YOU SAYING EUROS?

YOU WOULDN'T-- YOU WOULDN'T USE EUROS.

- NO, IT'S--IT'S-- IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, FINNEY.

WE--WE SHOULD MAKE SOME EYE CONTACT

SO WE MAKE SURE THAT THE COMMUNICATION'S HAPPENING.

- YEAH. - I THINK HE WANTS TO KNOW

IS IT, LIKE, A--YOU KNOW, A DIFFERENT CURRENCY?

OR IS IT MORE LIKE CAMEL CASH?

- NOPE, JUST GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED U.S. DOLLARS, YEP.

- DO WE HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ANAL SEX?

- OH! - OR CAN WE JUST WATCH

AND CHEER IN A FIREMEN'S HAT?

- NO, THERE'S NO ANAL SEX AND NO FIREMAN'S HAT.

- OH, OKAY. - IT'S CUNNILINGUS.

- IS THAT A QUESTION, SIR?

- WHEN DO WE GET TO SING IT'S RAINING MEN,

HALLELUJAH, IT'S RAININGMEN? - YOU DON'T.

- SO THERE'S NO GAY HYMNS IN THE CEREMONY?

- SIR, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A GAY HYMN.

- WHAT? - WELL, DOES THE FAKE PRIEST

LOOK LIKE A REAL PRIEST OR LIKE A NUN?

- IT'S GONNA BE A REAL PRIEST. - OR...

- NO, THERE'S NO "OR."

- IS IT A SEXY BOAT CAPTAIN,

THEN HE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF?

all: OHH. - WHAT? NO. NO.

- DO WE THROW SOMETHING OTHER THAN RICE?

- LIKE WHAT, SIR?

WHAT WOULD YOU THROW OTHER THAN RICE?

- I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

COUSCOUS. SKITTLES.

- GUYS, A GAY WEDDING IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING, OKAY?

IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME.

- WELL, WHEN THEY KISS, IS IT OKAY TO STAND UP AND SAY, "EW"?

- NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE--THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC.

- THIS FROM THE MAN WHO WON'T ALLOW GAY HYMNS

AT THE GAY WEDDING.

- OKAY, BUT LIKE A INVOLUNTARY GASP.

- I WOULD JUST, I GUESS, TRY TO CURB THAT BEHAVIOR.

- OKAY. I'LL--I'LL LOOK AWAY THEN.

- OH, MY GOD. - NOW, IS RUPAUL GONNA BE THERE?

- NO, I DON'T THINK DELROY KNOWS RUPAUL.

- UH, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS? - NO.

- OOH, DOOGIE.

- WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET?

- THIS IS RIDICULOUS! - EXCUSE ME, GARY.

"RIDICULOUS." IS THAT A GAY TERM?

- OKAY, YEP. I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT.

- OH, HE'S A LITTLE TESTY, ISN'T HE?

- NAH, HE CAN GO. - GOOD LUCK.

- WE JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW IT GO.

- LET'S GO, STEFAN.

- I THINK WE PRETTY MUCH GOT IT.