And of course, a reminder for any students looking to join the Anglerfish Preservation Society-

Don't.

We're still not sure some form of mind control isn't at play.

Which means you have no control over your actions anyways,

so if you're down by the Lustig crater, humming and swaying in unison,

don't beat yourself up about it.

Good night and good luck, Silas University.

[Semi-stifled useless lesbian laughter]

Was that-?

Did you just make a joke?

And are you laughing at it?

If you can't make a joke about a giant evil fish god, then you don't understand comedy.

Oh Gigdet, I know you're in the midst of angst-ing about how you and Angel-pants over there

are starcrossed- but that is no excuse for losing your sense of humour.

Says the sociopath trying to kill me.

Says the sociopath who hasn't killed you yet.

You know how one survives for centuries?

You stop judging.

There's almost nothing in this world that's absolute.

Take this whole "Carmilla massacred the Vordenbergs"

sitch your tiny panties in a bunch.

You mean how his ancestor loved Carmilla, took care of her, and in return she killed his whole family?

Sure. If by "ancestor" you mean "necrophiliac" and by "loved", "grave-robbed her undead body"

Any Vordenbergs Carm killed crawling out of that creep's dungeon had it coming.

Carm, why didn't you say something?

It was humiliating.

But you know, I did kill his whole family, so...bygones.

See? You'll be surprised what one can learn to co-exist with.

And generally speaking, co-existence is better than a fight to the death.

Ugh. You are such a Utilitarian. It's gross.

Nihilist.

Existentialist!

Absurdist, at best.

Oh, I'll show you absurd!

[more vampire laughter]

Mattie!

That was unexpected.

What do I do? Tell me what I do-

I think you've already done it, darling.

Carmilla I need you to listen to me.

I didn't kill those girls.

Or the students at the newspaper.

That means someone else did.

Someone who would do anything to make sure Mother's plan still went through.

Even kill me.

I didn't think she'd kill me...

Run.

What?

Run.

I am going to hunt, torture, and kill you,

and it won't be satisfying if it ends too quickly, so you need to run.

If you want to kill me,

you're going to have to do it right here, right now.

Fine.

NO!

Laura, get out of the way.

No. It's not her fault-

Get out of the way!

No! Mattie was going to kill her! She had to-!

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

I'm the one who told her how to do it!

And you know it.

You know it's my fault-

[Laura screams in pain]

God, she was right.

You are a selfish, callow girl.

And I am the fool who trusted you-

Carm, I'm so sorry- I'm so, so sorry-

Three hundred years of friendship.

Can you even imagine?

We saw Electra in Paris in 1709,

the ruins of Pompeii,

we watched the Moon Landing-

All those memories.

All that life to end like this-

For what?

For you?

Carm, please-

[Mocking] Be good for me, Carmilla.

Change for me, Carmilla.

Burn down everything you've ever loved for me, Carmilla.

That's not fair- I didn't ask you for any of this-

STAY AWAY FROM ME!

The next one of you who comes near me

I swear to God, I WILL KILL.

See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices...yes it certainly will]