20、 Obama
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Governor Mike Huckabee, how was your summer?
It was dope
Like your pretty gelled head
Thank you
I'm getting it permed
Hey, all you freaks are bozos
But who's this Mindy?
Oh, an old friend actually, she's great
Okay, you HAVE to be joking
She pooped on the treadmill!
Oooh
Oh yeah, that's her
Governor Christie
When you were younger, what was your favorite childhood snack?
I wanted, you know, I just wanted regular potatoes
But guess what, so did other people
I wanted it the most, so I'm like "I want it the most"
You just froze a baby!
You just froze a baby.
I did not!
GENITAL WARTS!
You touched a genital wart
and you can't touch it!
Wait, hey, guys, guys, hey
All right, enough
You're a wart toucher
Stop saying that!
Mr. Trump.
Well, I have a pigeon - Lucas Don Velour.
I always take it shopping because I want to and because it's got health.
[stomach rumbling]
Whatever, look - it's a thing the tuna melt does to me.
Uhh, Senator Cruz -
You shouldn't say the "S-Word"
What
Well, we could just go out and collect a dead swan
And then I - well I will drink a sorority's goldfish.
Uh, moving on, let's hear from Dr. Carson.
Now, this piece, I think it goes like that
And then this one...
No, this piece goes over here.
It's part of the tree
Carson
AHHHH ahhh ahh!
Umm, see, umm
What you working on?
A puzzle, umm
I don't know how to do this actually
Hey, we can move one, and you're not missing any playtime.
America.
Governor Bush
What
How would you get a dead mouse on crescent roll with some steak?
With some steak I would fork it
However, if a pittbull is loose in your house
then you'll find me stiff on the bed, 'cause I always throw up.
You'll have thirteen seconds to make a closing statement in the form of a short song.
And Governor Christie, you're first.
Well, think about the time we bought you and ice-cream and a cookie
Rented that Lambo so we could go buy milk when we played hooky
That was our ride, we rode it around
Yeah mama, it was good
Till we hit that boy in the pink golf shirt
with the pepper-spray tan and he laid down on the concrete.
Senator Ted Cruz
Rabies and bunnies, let me think about it for a second over here
Hmm, first thing I need are
two sticks and an I.V. and
Then I can just dance in my
little paper hat you bought me.
That's weird!
Mmm-hmmm
Senator Marco Rubio!
My father was a bald tiger (yes he was)
And he took the bad guy walking in the sunshine
The pig intestine's about to drip
Me I just like to pound the shrimp
I own a parrot that doesn't drink.
Uh, Governor Kasich, how about you?
If Britain invaded us,
you'd get a fancy mouth and you'd
drink on the job
every day, oh no
We could give 'em cheese
Or we could give 'em Christmas pants
Mr. Trump, closing statement song
I took Johnny's pogo
kid, I pogo greater
They got five of the meaner reindeers still sitting there waiting
We have a big bird walking in the jungle crying in a tree
Scoobidy dee, listen to me
Don't go around the tuna.
Governor Scott Walker
I might have a whiff, a whiff
Yeah hoo-dee-doo
Why are dormant wives adorable?
I might even have a piece of corn and
I'm gonna make a fortune
Yeah, this beat's got me so baller now
That's right, see I can flow.
And now, Dr. Carson
[laughing]
Not ready....
Ohhh, here we go
I see one wittle wee-wee
Yeah, every mouse has a weenie
And if we could catch a little mouse man
then we could see some little feet too.
Thank you
I see one wittle wee-wee
Yeah, every mouse has a weenie (in America!)
And if we could catch a little mouse man
then we could see some little feet too.
(Little Mousey Feet!)
I see one wittle wee-wee
Yeah, every mouse has a weenie
And if we could catch a little mouse man
then we could see some little feet too.
IN AMERICA!
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B2 中上級 英

"FIRST REPUBLICAN DEBATE HIGHLIGHTS: 2015" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Republican Debate

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陈 2015 年 10 月 10 日 に公開

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