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  • I don’t understand money. I don't.

  • That's partly why I'm a comedian.

  • This is a terrible financial decision.

  • Like sometimes I do gigs and I try to work out how much money I'm making on the gig.

  • I'm like "OK, it costs me about three dollars a kilometer to drive my car...

  • ...I drove twenty kilometers to get here...

  • ...they're paying me with a sandwich...

  • does that work out?"

  • It doesn't work out, is the answer.

  • Right, but I don't think money is real.

  • and whenever I say that people always go of course money's real Michael

  • Here's some notes here's some coins"

  • No, that’s currency. Money and Currency are two different things

  • If money was beer currency would be the glass it comes in

  • We have currency so when you go to the bank you can get your money out in the form of notes

  • Kinda like how when you go to a bar...

  • ...we have glasses so when you order a beer...

  • ...they don’t just spray it in your face

  • This guy's like "Oh, actually that sounds delicious!

  • The notes just represent money.

  • In the olden days it used to represent gold

  • Like a ten dollar note was worth ten dollars of gold

  • But now that note just represents ten dollars of the IDEA of money.

  • That’s like playing musical chairs but instead of having chairs

  • youve just got the CONCEPT of chairs

  • I'm worried the music’s gonna stop

  • everyone gets hurt

  • I think it's a problem

  • And people goOh Michael, It’s not a problem

  • Because we all believe the notes have value you can use them to buy goods and services.

  • You believe in ityou get stuff

  • That’s how our money works.

  • I’m like yeah but

  • that’s also how Santa works.

  • They're like "Yeah, we just made it up...

  • ...we just thought it’d make you behave…”

  • But the idea is money has values cos the government says it has value.

  • Now when the government makes a note and says it’s money...

  • ...that’s called fiat currency.

  • When you do itthat’s… a crime

  • Don't try that at home.

  • But that's the idea, right?

  • The government makes a notes and goesThis is money!”.

  • Kinda like how McDonalds makes nuggets and goes:

  • This is chicken!”

  • People there going “I don't think that's chicken…”

  • They're likeYes it isthat’s fiat Chicken.”

  • But now that's what we have.

  • Theyve got rid of gold and silver, now it’s just faith and hope and trust

  • And that is terrifying!

  • That's like being on the Titanic...

  • And realising theyve replaced all the life jackets...

  • with happy thoughts.

  • Like, shouldn’t it be something tangible?

  • Something real? Maybe gold's a good idea.

  • It's always been valuable... we have that expression:

  • Oh, as good as gold”.

  • Means very trustworthy, very reliable.

  • "As good as gold"

  • No one ever goes "Oh...

  • good as an abstract concept of value!”

  • It just never happens.

  • So this is the position we're in...

  • We could be on the edge of a massive monetary collapse

  • All our notes and coins could suddenly become worthless.

  • That would be terrible.

  • But if that did happen I would look like a genius...

  • Cos I've been getting paid in sandwiches.

  • Hey! Did you like that?

  • Then go get my CD

  • It's available - right now

  • For free

  • Just go to and sign up for my newsletter

  • You'll then get a free copy of my CD

  • It's a hilarious half hour of comedy that I recorded when I was on tour in New Zealand.

  • Plus, every month or so, I'll send you a copy of my newsletter.

  • It's got subscriber only videos, ticket giveaways - a whole heap of great stuff.

  • So go on - do it now

  • Go to, sign up for the newsletter, and get your free copy of my CD.

  • See you there.

I don’t understand money. I don't.


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お金と通貨 (Money vs Currency)

  • 293 16
    Jcw に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日