♪ (theme music) ♪

Good Mythical Morning!

I recently tweeted, "I live, therefore I fart."

- Is that original? - I just thought of it, because it's true.

We all fart if we're alive. And if you want to get technical, sometimes

right after you die, you fart. Or worse.

- (laughing) Post fartem. - So in this episode, I thought we should

dive nose-first into topic of farting and discuss the etiquette and how you

navigate the different social situations and scenarios that exist

- when one starts to hit you. - You need this kind of information

- in order to live a full life. - So I'm gonna present

settings and scenarios, and I just wanna hear what you think about it,

- and then I'll weigh in, and maybe - Okay.

in the comments you guys can weigh in too. But this is an adult conversation, okay?

- So enough with the giggling, kids. - But "fart" is going to be said

- quite a few times, so if - It is.

you're not comfortable with that, then… We won't be introducing fart noises

- though, will we? In post. - Maybe.

- (laughing) Yeah, yeah, that may happen. - I'm not gonna commit to not doing that.

The first setting I wanna present is just you're with your family.

- (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

We're around the holidays now, so you're gonna spend a lot more time

with your extended family. And I wanted to start here because your family and

who you grow up with determines… There's a farting climate that's set up

that then determines how treat farting...

- What's your farting climate? - …for the rest of your life.

What's your farting climate in your house? And that's kind of your rules that

- you've started with. I mean… - Or "you've farted with."

- Do you call it… what's the terminology? - Sorry.

And then is it accepted? Is it used for humor? Is it used for derision?

- What about for you? - And I think a lot of this has to do,

I mean, for me, I grew up in a family with just a brother. You know, well,

- we had parents, too. (laughing) - (laughing)

We weren't like Lord of the Flies, but it was all boys.

- Which is just like my family, - Oh yeah.

which is two sons. And so this is a fart free-for-all. You know, if you

gotta fart, let it out as loud and proud as possible, everybody laughs,

Mom kinda shakes her head. That's typically how it works in family of boys.

- Not saying that there aren't - Okay.

- girls out there who will let 'em rip, - Well, I'll present...

I'm just saying that if you've got a family of all boys, it's almost a

- guarantee that it's a fart free-for-all. - I'll present the other side.

My fart climate growing up… My dad's side of the family, my grandma, Nana...

Oh yeah. Even I know about Nana's farts.

Nana would like, she'll be walking from the kitchen to the bedroom and it would be

- like "fart fart fart" the walking farts. - Walking farts. (laughing)

- And on my mom's side of the family… - And she's not ashamed of it.

- She knows that you hear 'em, and… - Oh yeah. We all laugh, and it's great.

- So she set the climate, she set the tone. - "It's great."

- And it's like a middle C. - (farting sound effect)

And on my mom's side, my Papa Clyde, he would always just, "Pull my finger."

- And (spits like a fart) and it would… - Put the sound in there when I...

- I'm sorry, do it again. "Pull my finger." - (farting sound effect)

And it was just… It's oddly satisfying to pull your grandpa's finger and...

- It's like a machine. It's like - It's like a machine.

- interacting with a robot. - So, farts were always seen as

for comedic effect, in my house. Now, my only rule is if you've got one

worked up, hit it for comedy as long as people can get away from it.

- Oh. Get away from the cloud. - But if like, uh...

Yeah, if the room's… if there's enough space for it to disperse, that's...

I just think the simple principle here is determine your fart climate.

When you go and start your own family, set the fart climate early,

- Right. - and you control that.

And it doesn't matter if it's men, women, doesn't matter what the situation is,

- you can control your own fart climate. - I recommend using it for comedy.

But let's move out of immediate family into love interest.

Let's say you're on your first date.

- (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

- I feel pretty strongly about this one. - And it's like, "Oh, no.

- I got one on deck." - I think that… I don't...

I'm not into a first-date fart. I don't think that this is a good thing,

I'd go as far as to say that you should manage your diet in the days leading

up to your dates, and even the meal that you eat on the date so that you don't

- have to worry about that. - Mm, manage your diet.

This is a "hold and release later" situation. Right? You hold and

then you get to a place where you can release, and then you release 'em all.

But if you've got to do one, you gotta perfect the upwind release.

- No, downwind. (laughing) - Oh. (laughing)

Yeah, you haven't been hunting' lately, have you? "Hey, baby. Lemme stand

about ten feet away. You let me know when you smell it."

- (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - Let me just… what if one slips out?

- What do you do? - You have to then turn it into

- comedy, is what I would do. - What do you say?

I mean, I would immediately own it, and I would be like, I would make a

comment about what we ate, "You got any brewin' in there?" I don't know...

No, you have to have a joke prepared, and mine is, "Whoops, that was me.

- I've never done that before." - (sputters) Fart?

- "Yes, I've never farted before." Ha ha! - "Never farted before."

- But what if your date - That's funny.

- lets one slip out? - (fart sound effect)

- Leave. (laughing) No. - No, you've gotta be ready with

a chivalrous response, At that moment, you'll be like, "Whoops, excuse me.

I just farted." Or "tooted," or whatever. "Pooted."

- You take the fart blame? - Take it. And then she thinks,

"Wow, he farted at the same time I did. It's like we're star-crossed lovers."

- (crew offscreen laughing) - There's no way she's gonna think that.

She's gonna be like, "He takes the fart blame," which could be weird.

- I think that's chivalrous! - I'll just say you can break

new ground in a relationship by breaking wind early on.

- Ooh. Wordplay. - 'Cause I do think that

- it will progress over time. - All right, so let's go that, with

in a long-term relationship with your spouse or significant other.

And you've got some fart-rogen dioxide.

- (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

Conventional wisdom, and this is not untrue, is that the frequency and the

acceptance level of farts will increase as the relationship becomes stronger.

- Now, I will say… - Oh yeah, sometime my wife and I,

been married as long as we have, we speak only in fart.

Yeah, like a Morse code fart situation. A conversation.

- (Morse code farting noises) - I know what you're laying down, baby.

Now, there's a couple different philosophies here, because there's

definitely a "keep the romance alive" kind of thing, you know.

- Right, right. There's a time and a place. - You have to pepper your life

- (laughing) - with farts from your significant other.

- You gotta scatter it. (laughing) - You don't wanna overdo it.

- Now I'm giggling like a schoolgirl. - However, we do know of people

who've been married for even longer than us, who've never audibly farted

in front of one another, which, first of all, I don't know how that's physically

- possible, but I just… - They're both very bloated.

To me, I'm just like, "C'mon don't do that." At some point, you've gotta

- break wind in front of each other. - You can't wait too late in a

- relationship to set the fart precedent. - Yeah, because it might...

- You've gotta get that thing out, - It might end.

or you're gonna have a painful, that's a painful precedent,

to not fart. You know, you've gotta burn a hole in your britches sometimes

- (farting sound effect) - No, you don't.

You gotta know that they're gonna be… they're gonna stay around for it.

- You talking about lighting farts, now? - (laughing)

I don't advise lighting farts with your wife.

- That's like with your teenage friends. - It's like, "Honey, we're bored.

What do you do…" That's not… It was just a...

- Burn a hole in your britches. - Listen, when the lights are off, though,

- they do light up. - What about when you're around strangers?

The worst case: you're on a plane.

- (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

- Oh, that altitude is really - You're stuck in some recirculating air.

making the rumbles happen, you're gonna butt burp...

- (fart sound effect) - I've had many flights ruined

by the rogue farter. And here's what happens:

- Oh yeah. - you smell it, and if you're like

on a five-hour flight, let's say, like every 15 minutes, you're like,

"There it is again." It's the same person, because it's so distinct.

You're like, "There it is." Just like a cloud.

And then you're trying to guess who it's coming from my which nostril it hits first.

Like, you know what I'm saying? You're like, "Uhh, that guy!"

And then you begin judging the people around you, and you're like,

- "Who is most…" - Sizin' 'em up.

- Like match the fart to the person. - Oh yeah.

Like, "Who in this group? That guy definitely would." Or, you know.

- Oh, man. - And then you're judging people,

and it might be the little old lady next to you. This is another

"hold and release" situation. This is what the lavatory is for, okay?

You've got to hold 'em in, and then you've got to get in line, you get in the

lavatory. I mean, the suction that will come out of the bottom of that toilet.

- (sucking sound) - (giggling)

You wanna suck that fart right out into the atmosphere,

- is what you want to happen. - (sucking sound)

Sometimes they don't let you go to the lavatory, man. And at that point...

- Luggage compartment. - (both laughing)

- If you can reach it. - There was a New Zealand

Medical Journal article that said that it does a body good to pass the gas

at high altitude. So I just think you gotta have that pulled up on your phone

and just let 'em read the article as you're just lettin' it seep out.

- (fart sound effect) - I'm gonna pull the oxygen

- masks down, though, if I can't get out. - I would suggest bring your own

scent overrider, like I've got really minty smelling lip balm that I like...

- Putting it all up on your nose. - The last time I was on a flight...

- "I've got a chapped nostril." - I put Chapstick up my nose

- for that reason. I'm not lying. - (laughing)

All right, next scenario. You're in a car. Let's say this is with a friend,

and I know that we recently dealt with this one.

- (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

So, you're in a car, (stammering) one conjures, what should you do?

- What's the rules? - Well, between best friends,

I definitely think this is comedy fart situation. Farting for comedy effect.

But we were recently on a camping trip together in Death Valley

where we ate the same diet for like three days, and it included a lot

of like fake eggs, and I think it had a horrible, horrible effect on our stomachs,

and so on the way back from Death Valley, we developed a system where--

- the comedy was long gone-- - Oh yeah.

where we would preemptively roll down the window. But it was a

"hold and release" situation: you'd hold, and then once the guy rolled down the

window, both would release. At the same time.

- (laughing) - And they smelled identical.

And you would be like, "Hold! Hold! Hold!" (buzzing sound with mouth)

- Release! (fart sound effect) - That was a bad night.

- That was a bad trip. - I don't know how I feel about

like, the kick we've gotten out of this conversation, but I do think this

is healthy. I think we've started a healthy, respectful conversation

that should continue in the comment section below...

- Yeah. Pull my finger. - (fart sound effect)

- (laughing) - I just love that.

- Thinking about how that's gonna sound. - Thanks for liking and

- commenting on this video. - You know what time it is.

- ♪ (Wheel of Mythicality music) ♪ - [in sign language] Hey! My name is Beth!

I'm from Sacramento, California.

It's time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality!

We have a Twitter account: twitter.com/rhettandlink,

and if you tweet something insightful or pithy about passing gas,

- we just might retweet it. - Oh yeah. Click through to

Good Mythical More, where we describe the farting etiquette associated with

classrooms and the workplace. You've got to get in the know on that,