You're welcome.

You're welcome

Look, I know everyone's all up in arms about the comments I made about Megyn Kelly after last week's GOP debate.

which, by the way, I won easily.

(laughter)

I was fantastic. The ratings were huge!

Anyway, yesterday I called Megyn Kelly to personally not apologize.

When I said blood was coming out of her wherever, I obviously meant nose and ears.

If you think I was talking about something else, you're a deviant.

(laughter)

I was not referring to hormones or menstruation.

Period.

(laughter)

Anyone who thinks otherwise is a total deviant.

It's amazing how the media loves to twist my words and viciously attack me.

It happens all the time.

Like last week, when I said that my wife, Melania, had the best melons in the world,

of course I meant her honeydew melons.

Which, by the way, can't be beat.

Only a deviant would think I was talking about her boobs.

(laughter)

Which, by the way, are classy and fantastic.

(laughter)

On the other day, when I said to...

that Carly Fiorina had too much junk in the trunk,

I was obviously talking about the amount of stuff she keeps in the back of her Hyundai Sonata.

It's like a Costco back there.

She has a...

She has a case of those giant cans of juicy-juice.

You know, the ones you have to open with a can opener on both sides.

I prefer juice drinks that don't come in a paint can, okay?

Deviant.

For last month, when I said I'd love to have a foursome with Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Nicki Minaj

I was simply talking about golf.

Which also explains why I said I'd love for them to wash my balls.

Deviant.

Deviant, okay?

Or when I said that me and Gary Pusey like to do it doggy style

I just meant

I just meant that sometimes I'll toss a frisbee, and he'll catch it in his mouth like a dog.

What else could that possibly mean?

Deviant

Twisting my words

And finally, when I said I love fat Tony's big, greasy sausage and couldn't wait to get it in my mouth,

How could you not know I was talking about my local butcher Tony Esposito

and his quality made products

Deviants.

(applause)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the campaign trail and pounce on Bush.

What?! Deviants! Deviants! Deviants!

Cue the music