Gretchen: Cady's blushing. Oh, my god.

You totally have a crush on that guy.

No, I don't.

That's why you wanted to join the mathletes.

Mathletes? You hate math.

Gretchen: Look how red she is.

You love him. And he totally complimented you.

That is so fetch.

Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen.

It's not going to happen.

"why should caesar get to stomp around like a giant

"while the rest of us try not to get smushed

Under his big feet?"

"what's so great about caesar?

"brutus is just as cute as caesar.

"okay, brutus is just as smart as caesar.

"people totally like brutus just as much as they like caesar.

"and when did it become okay for one person

"to be the boss of everybody? Huh?

"because that's not what rome is about!

( shouts ): "we should totally just stab caesar!"

Cady: Gretchen wieners had cracked.

Okay, if you even knew how mean she really is.

You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right?

Yeah. Two years ago,

She told me that hoop earrings were her thing

And that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore.

And then for my hanukkah, my parents got me this pair

Of really expensive white-gold hoops.

And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them,

And it was so sad.

And you know she cheats on aaron?

Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing sat prep.

But really, she's hooking up with shane oman

In the projection room

Above the auditorium,

And I never told anybody that, because...

I'm such a good friend.

Cady: Jackpot.