The first Witchcraft album, that happened…

Otherwise, I don’t know, it was certainly a year. But one thing I do recall, is that

football fans actually had choices when it came to football video games, how crazy is

that? There was the Madden series, of course, but there was also ESPN NFL 2K5. That I do

remember.

The fact that this one cost half as much, that I don’t remember.

So in reading up on this game, I made a pretty shocking discovery. And that’s that this

game, only sold for 20 bucks. Like, new. And what’s crazy about that isn’t necessarily

the price, there are lots of cheap games out there. But this isn’t a cheap game. ESPN

NFL 2K5, has all the pomp and circumstance of the Madden games, but at half the freaking

price.

And most importantly, it has the gameplay, too.

This is a really fun game of football. And half the freaking price.

Actually, now you can probably get it for, like…half a freaking dollar, or something.

These football games are very cheap, once they’re outdated. They can’t even give

them away.

Like tickets to a Rams game.

So basically, this is just Madden, but with ESPN presentation, at a much lower price.

That’s ESPN NFL 2K5. Unfortunately, I have to keep talking for a few more minutes, so…who

knows where this is gonna end up? But let’s start with the presentation, ‘cause with

a game like this, that’s the whole point. To make it feel as close to an ESPN broadcast

as possible.

And it does. From the personalities, to the catchphrases, to the graphics and fonts…it’s

like you’re watching the game on ESPN, and you also happen to be playing. Which is impossible,

and yet, here we here. Why don’t you suck on that, Einstein? Let’s send it to Suzy

Kolber.

Thanks, Suzy. Boy, it’s great to see that kind of attention to detail. Clearly, SEGA

spared no expense when it comes to true NFL realism. Here’s Tom Brady on the phone with

Gisele, talking about how great his hair looks today.

And here’s boob physics.

And that’s the NFL.

So it’s authentically ESPN, which means males ages 18 to 35 are gonna love it. And

it’s authentically jiggly, which means males ages 18 to 35 are gonna love it. But again,

the thing that surprised me the most about ESPN NFL 2K5…is how well it plays. This

game’s actually a lot of fun, and I did not expect that. From some failed football

franchise, from a decade ago. And yet, here we are, we’re having fun, throwing bombs.

Making plays.

Now Tom Brady is crying, this game’s the best. It plays every bit as well as the Madden

games from the same time period. Or at least, I didn’t notice any major drawbacks. Seems

like the game is actually what it claims to be, which is a cheaper Madden, with an authentic

ESPN vibe and presentation.

I’m not even a football fan, and I think that’s awesome.

The game has the same kind of modes you’d expect, too—a franchise mode, single games,

things like that. But it tries a couple different things, too. One lets you actually play some

of the biggest moments in NFL history, which is cool…one lets you design a “crib,”

or something. You unlock…f*cking, curtains. In this mode, “it’s not about who you

are, but rather, what you have.”

Great message for kids from a league known for great messages for kids.

But the other mode’s actually cool. It’s called “first-person football.” Which

I expected to be a disaster, but…I’ve got to tell you, it’s not that bad. In fact,

it’s kind of cool to see the game from this perspective, right on the field. It’s challenging,

it feels different…I mean, won’t replace the normal modes, but it’s at least an interesting

idea, and a fun change of pace.

Now you can see what it’s like to score.

You know, I think that’s the best thing about this game. The fun change of pace. Scoring

is great, too. Point is, Madden’s the king, but…it’s been that way for so long, It’s

just the same game, going through the motions. And sure, this game’s similar to Madden

in terms of its gameplay, and even its graphics, but at least it did something differently.

At least it was a fun change of pace.

And at half the price, too. Only 20 freaking dollars.

I bet it’s, like…20 cents now. Big thanks to our pal Sean from Port Saint Lucie, Florida,

for sending us ESPN NFL 2K5, for the PlayStation 2.