[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Jay: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF MY

FAVORITES.

BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED ACTRESS.

TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF HER WORK

HERE.

CHECK IT OUT.

♪♪

>> I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.

>> SO DON'T.

STAY HERE WITH ME.

DON'T DRIVE THEN.

♪♪

>> NO, MOMMY SAYS THAT HAS HIGH

FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.

>> WELL, WHAT MOMMY DOESN'T

KNOW WON'T HER!

OKAY, MR. TATTLE TALE?

EAT IT!

>> I NOTICED YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL

LIPS.

>> THANK YOU.

>> OKAY, OKAY.

LOOK -- YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT

TO GO --

>> WELL, I CAN'T GUARANTEE THE

LOVEMAKING BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO

BE VERY MOODY.

>> DO NOT ASK THIS OF ME.

>> IT'S NEEDED.

THE COMPOSITION, IT'S NOT

BALANCED.

>> SO, YOU PAINT WITH NO ONE

THERE?

>> YOU WANT ME TO IMAGINE HOW

THE EARRING WOULD LOOK?

>> MY EARS ARE NOT PIERCED.

>> I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD

IDEA.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE FOLLOWED ME

HERE.

>> DO YOU FEEL GUILTY?

>> DO YOU?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Jay: ALL RIGHT.

NOW, SHE RECEIVED -- SHE GOT A

A TONY NOMINATION THIS MORNING

FOR HER PERFORMANCE ON BROADWAY

IN "A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE."

AND HER LATEST FILM IS THE

EAGERLY ANTICIPATED,

"IRON MAN 2."

IT OPENS EVERYWHERE THIS

FRIDAY.

PLEASE WELCOME

SCARLETT JOHANSSON!

♪♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> IT'S A TRIP DOWN MEMORY

LANE.

>> Jay: THAT'S RIGHT.

A LITTLE TRIP DOWN -- IT'S SOME

NICE MEMORIES, VERY GOOD

MEMORIES.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

>> Jay: AND I DIDN'T GET A

A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU, BUT I

SAW YOU FROM THE STAGE AT THE

WASHINGTON CORRESPONDENTS

DINNER.

>> YOU DID NOT SEE ME FROM UP

THERE!

>> Jay: YES, I DID.

>> NO, YOU WERE -- IT WAS LIKE

A WEDDING BANQUET.

YOU WERE, LIKE, UP AT THE TOP

OF THE --

>> Jay: AT THE CAKE, AT THE TOP

OF THE CAKE.

>> YOU WERE.

IT WAS VERY, VERY FANCY UP

THERE.

WE WERE JUST THE MINIONS DOWN

BELOW.

>> Jay: YEAH, YOU GOT TO LOOK

DOWN.

BUT YOU WERE ONE MINION I

SINGLED OUT.

>> WELL, THANK YOU, I GUESS?

>> Jay: AND WAS THAT YOUR FIRST

TIME AT THAT SORT OF THING

THERE?

>> YES, IT WAS MY FIRST TIME.

I COULDN'T GO LAST YEAR, AND I

NEVER WANTED TO GO BEFORE THAT.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

BUT I -- I HAD A GREAT TIME.

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

>> Jay: NOW WHO WERE YOU

SITTING WITH?

HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE OR, LIKE,

WASHINGTON PEOPLE?

>> IT WAS KIND OF A MIXTURE.

BUT WE HAD BILL MAHER WAS AT

OUR TABLE, WHICH WAS VERY

EXCITING.

AND I DIDN'T -- I WAS SO

NERVOUS.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO TALK

ABOUT.

IT'S SO DIFFERENT THAN -- YOU

KNOW, YOU GO TO THE OSCARS.

AND, AND SAY, YOU KNOW, LIKE,

"OH, THE NEW SEASON OF

JIMMY CHOO."

AND THERE, YOU'RE TALKING WITH

NEUROPHYSICISTS ABOUT WHY YOU

CAN'T SHOOT GARBAGE I&

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jay: REALLY?

WOW!

>> YES, ACTUALLY, THAT WAS A

A CONVERSATION.

AND WE NEVER CAME TO A

A CONCLUSION.

FOR SOME REASON.

>> Jay: AND HOW WAS THE FOOD?

I WAS CURIOUS OF WHAT YOU

THINK.

>> OUR FOOD WAS TERRIBLE --

>> Jay: IT WAS BAD?

>> WELL, IT WAS SO BAD, BUT

EVERYBODY WASOMO, UN MEDALLON

MEDALLION AND A --

DID YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT MEAL

UP THERE?

I FEEL LIKE IT WAS A --

>> Jay: YOU MEAN, WITH THE

PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY?

IS WHAT WE HAD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO, THIS BEING AMERICA, WE

ALL HAD TO HAVE THE SAME MEAL,

YEAH.

>> WE HAD THE SAME THING.

OKAY,ND Ts, WHO COULD TASTE A

A THING.

>> Jay: YEAH, YOU GET A STAKE

LIKE THIS --

AND THEN A PIECE OF FISH

THAT --

>> YEAH, IT WAS SWIMMING IN --

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS --

YEAH, IT WAS -- A HIDEOUS

COMBINATION.

>> Jay: NOW, YOU'RE A COOK,

RIGHT?

DON'T YOU COOK?

>> I DO.

I LIKE TO COOK.

I LIKE TO BAKE AND --

>> Jay: ARE YOU A GOOD COOK?

>> UM, I THINK I'M AN ALL RIGHT

COOK.

BUT I GUESS EVERYBODY DOES.

>> Jay: ITALIAN, DO YOU COOK

ITALIAN?

>> I LIKE TO COOK ITALIAN FOOD,

YEAH.

I'M, ACTUALLY, NOT ITALIAN.

BUT I LIKE ITALIAN FOOD.

>> Jay: RIGHT, OKAY, OKAY.

>> AND I'VE BEEN BAKING.

I'VE BEEN BAKING ALL THESE,

LIKE, PROTEIN -- MUFFINS AND

>> IT'S LIKE A MUFFIN WITH --

IT'S LIKE A CHICKEN MUFFIN.

NO, IT'S NOT CHICKEN MUFFIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jay: WHAT IS THAT?

>> IT'S, LIKE, A -- THAT WOULD

AND YOU THROW, LIKE, A LITTLE

BIT OF --

SOME WHEY PROTEIN.

WHAT DO YOU CARE WHAT IT IS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jay: I'M CURIOUS.

I MEAN, KEVIN, THOSE, IT'S --

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN -- WHEN I

WAS DOING THIS "IRON MAN"

THING, YOU KNOW YOU, HAVE TO

KEEP THIS VERY -- I'M PLAYING A

A CHARACTER WHO IS A MASTER OF

HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.

SHE'S VERY ATHLETIC.

AND SO, YOU KNOW, YOU EAT LIKE

AN ATHLETE.

AND I JUST -- IT WAS HARD FOR

ME TO --

>> Jay: IT WAS LIKE A PROTEIN

DIET, YOU'RE ON.

IS IT LIKE THE ATKINS DIET?

IS IT THAT KIND OF DEAL.

>> THE ATKINS, I DON'T

UNDERSTAND THE ATKINS DIET.

YOU SEE SOMEBODY, AND THEY'RE

EATING NOTHING BUT BACON AND

CHEESE.

AND YOU'RE LIKE, "YOU WANT AN

APPLE?"

AND THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, NO.

TOO MANY CARBS!"

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, WHILE THEY'RE EATING AN

ENTIRE WHEEL OF PROVOLONE.

>> Jay: IS BACON, BACON'S OKAY.

IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?

>> I THINK IT IS.

IT'S, LIKE, ANYTHING THAT WOULD

GIVE YOU -- IT'S, LIKE, THE

CARDIAC ARREST DIET.

I DON'T KNOW.

>> Jay: YEAH, I HAVE NO IDEA

HOW THAT WORKS.

I MEAN, DO YOU WATCH THE FOOD

NETWORK?

ARE YOU ONE OF THESE PEOPLE

THAT WATCHES FOOD SHOWS?

DO YOU GET INTO IT?

>> I LIKE FOOD SHOWS.

I LIKE, YOU KNOW, I LIKE THE

ANTHONY BOURDAIN SHOW --

I TOOK SPANISH.

SHOWS.

BUT I LIKE WEIRD SHOWS.

>> Jay: LIKE WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU WATCH?

>> I LIKE -- I LOVE

"INTERVENTION."

>> Jay: "INTERVENTION," OKAY.

>> AND THEN THAT LED TO A SHOW

CALLED "OBSESSED," WHICH WAS ON

FOR ONE SEASON.

I THINK IT WAS TOO DISTURBING

FOR MOST PEOPLE.

I LIKE "HOARDERS."

>> Jay: "HOARDERS"?

>> "BURIED ALIVE," "HOARDERS."

WHO DOESN'T LIKE THAT SHOW?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Jay: NOW ARE YOU A HOARDER?

ARE YOU LIKE THAT?

ARE YOU A HOARDER?

>> NO, I'M ACTUALLY NOT A

A HOARDER.

BUT I HEARD THAT YOU WERE A

A HOARDER.

>> Jay: I AM SOMEWHAT OF A

A HOARDER.

>> NO, I HEARD YOU WERE, LIKE,

A MAJOR HOARDER.

>> Jay: WELL, NOT A MAJOR

HOARDER.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

THE FACT THAT I STILL HAVE

CLOTHES FROM 8TH GRADE, I GUESS

IS WEIRD.

>> YEAH, EVERYBODY ON

"BURIED ALIVE" SAYS THAT

THEY'RE NOT A MAJOR HOARDER.

AND THEY'RE, LIKE, PULLING OUT,

I DON'T HOARD GARBAGE.

I, LIKE, I HAVE --

>> VALUABLE THINGS!

>> Jay: VALUABLE, YES!

>> SURE.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

IEN, A MI, AQUI ESTA

GREEN MONEY, WHICH IS ALL

WRINKLED.

BUT HERE'S A SHINY THING.

"OOH, GIVE ME THE SHINY THING."

>> YEAH, YOU'LL TAKE THE SHINY

GRADE.

I COLLECT THEM ALL.

>> DID YOU FIND FOOD, LIKE,

FOOD FROM SEVEN YEARS AGO, OR

SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

LIKE A SANDWICH, MAY1

>> Jay: I HAVE SOMETHING DOWN

STAIRS IN MY OFFICE.

AND I WILL SHOW YOU AFTER THE

SHOW.

A LADY FROM RHODE ISLAND SENT

ME A THING CALLED A

>> Jay: WELL, IT'S GOT ALL

DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEAT.

IT'S FROM RHODE ISLAND.

SHE SENT IT TO ME IN '93, AND I

PUT IT ON MY DESK.

AND OVERT THE YEARS

THREW PAPERS, AND WE FORGOT IT

WAS THERE.

AND WE SAID, "LET'S JUST LEAVE

IT WRAPPED IN FOIL."

SO --

>> WHY, SO IT COULD JUST BREAK

F1 O

>> Jay: SO IN THE FUTURE, IF

PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT A