carers and sufferers.

What not to say or do. You may well be right when you say

"It's all in your head!" but don't say it, leave that up to the professionals

"Be a man!" this certainly doesn't help,

Especially if they are one already. Depression is an illness,

not a sign of weakness. Don't be an armchair general who gives unfounded advice

and orders. Being thoughtful and kind will never go amiss.

Don't try and jolly them along, it can often make them feel worse.

Don't point out that there are people in this world far worse off than them.

It just adds to their feelings of guilt and hopelessness.

Good things to say and do. Be sensitive about how you approach the subject;

a lot of people aren't used to talking about their mental health, or lack of it.

Crossing that line simply means you care.

Try not talking

Instead grow your ears and open your heart

Really being there for someone without opinion or judgment

is one of the best gifts you can ever give.

Encourage them to seek a professional opinion. An offer to help find a good doctor,

make an appointment and even going with them, can be hugely beneficial

Encourage any former regular exercise

Fitness robs the dog with its power. Help them develop a strategy to simplify

their life

both at home and at work.

Stress is one of the biggest drivers of depression.

Less stress means less dog

Make them a ditch the dog box. Encourage them to fill it with favorite photographs,

letters, anything that reminds them of what's good in their life.

Include a "Dog Journal" Here they can plot how they are feeling

acknowledge progress, record the things the are grateful for

and set doable goals. Embracing the black dog

Agree to a course of action to get rid of the Black Dog

An ignored dog can become a big problem

Learn about the condition together;

knowledge is power and validation is a great healer

A united front is crucial in getting the Black Dog to move on

As a caregiver, compassion

empathy and understanding are vital, but recognize that you alone

don't have the power to rescue your loved one. Professional help is

often what's needed

Finding the right doctor can make all the difference to a healthy recovery

If they're going to tell someone their problems, it should be someone they respect

and feel comfortable with. Don't be afraid to go for an initial assessment

and don't feel committed to continue if it doesn't feel right. "“You can also see a nurse, a counsellor or a health-care worker"

If it suggested you take anti-depressants

do your research. Know the facts and ask your doctor plenty of questions

A big obstacle for seeking professional help

is the cost. Help them realize that the cost of not getting the right help

can be considerably higher: it can cost marriages

friendships jobs and even life itself

Some simple rules of engagement and agreement

Agree that there is a Black Dog in the midst

and things may have to change temporarily

Agree that no one can help them until they fully commit to helping themselves

Agree to be gentle and respectful

with one another during this time. Agree to check-in with each other

on a regular basis. Agree to communicate honestly and openely.

Agree to the course of action

set by the doctor and to review progress regularly

Self-preservation for the caregiver

It can be difficult not to take anger, criticism

negativity and apathy personally. It's important not to buy into it

accept that it's the depression barking, not the person you care for.

Being overexposed to someone else's Black Dog can begin to rub off.

Misery loves company so try not to get sucked into the vortex

It's really important to recognize and honor your own needs

limitations and boundaries.

Difficult situations a better dealt with when you are calm and in the moment

Yoga, meditation and mindfulness

are great tools for achieving calmness and control. Join a support group

There's nothing like being in a room full of people who understand and share

your story

It's important to get out and do your own thing

and be with friends. Friends may not be able to solve your problems

but they can offer incredible support, comfort, wisdom

and laughter. A Black Dog in

any relationship can be confronting, frightening

and frustrating but navigated together, the bond can become

deeper richer and better for it. And finally

the most important aspect in this tourney is to constantly remind each other

it will pass

it will pass

it will pass

If you have a Black Dog in your life, get help, be helped

and always hold onto hope.