初級 44566 タグ追加 保存
動画の字幕をクリックしてすぐ単語の意味を調べられます!
単語帳読み込み中…
字幕の修正報告
- Why don't you move here, and then you'd have a bigger place?
Do you like it here?
- But--[sighs] I mean,
I don't fit in here-- just straight up body type.
Like, in L.A., my arms register as legs.
They're just like-- [laughter]
[laughter]
They're like, "Why is that octopus on Sunset?"
"Is that--" [laughter]
It's not-- it's not for me out here.
- No? - It's not, no.
But I--you know.
- What do you do when you're here?
- I cry. I just sit in my room...
[laughter] Bawling.
No, I--
Well, last time I was here, right from the show,
I got courtside tickets to a Laker game.
- That's fun. - Yeah, 'cause my--
my business agent thought I was mad at him
for sexually harassing me.
- Well-- - But no, I'm 33,
so I'm just starting to really appreciate that,
you know what I mean? - I see, I see.
- Well, it's true. I can't speak for everyone.
I'm not like "Sexually harass--"
but, in your 20s, I feel like you walk around--
like you'll walk past a construction site,
and be kind of like, "Oh, don't look--"
But then, in your 30s, you know, I'm just like,
"What about this?" [laughter]
"Like, how about--" [laughter]
It's like my skirt's over my head.
I'm like, "Aah." [laughter]
They're like, "We're eating."
But, uh-- [laughter]
[laughter]
It changes, it really does.
It changes, so-- So I got courtside seats,
which--you've sat courtside at a game, right?
- I have, yeah. - I thought--I went--
I thought it would be free booze.
Um... [laughter]
It's not, it's not. [laughter]
I guess you have to be on the team to get free booze.
So... - [laughs]
- I go, I get randomly seated next to Dianna Agron.
You know, the actress. She was on "Glee."
She played the cheerleader, Quinn?
I mean, that lets you know how hot she is.
Yeah--oh, there we go. There's the picture.
Thanks for--yes. Isn't that great?
[laughter] She's like--
the most gorgeous girl ever.
Her name was "Quinn" on that show.
To pull off that name? - Yeah.
- Like if my name were "Quinn" on a show,
they'd be like, "Oh, the jolly Irish groundskeeper, that--"
[laughter]
"Does a jig time and again," you know.
But so she's there. Is she not like an angel?
So--and the whole night, she's like,
She's like this...
'cause she knows people are taking pictures of her.
I obviously don't.
[laughter]
I learned a lot. I learned that my resting face,
is just a scowl, is just-- [laughter]
[laughter]
And I learned--and you can see--
that I have what I'm now calling an "at-risk chin."
[laughter]
This is not a good section!
[laughter] If I--if I don't,
like keep it at sea level, it just doubles itself, just--
[laughter]
I become the dinosaur in the jeep in "Jurassic Park,"
just "Fff!"
[laughter]
So I'm like--no idea people are taking pictures.
I'm pounding red wine, and I--
I thought it was free-- and I--
[laughter]
I get red wine teeth right out the gate, you know?
Like, just first sniff of merlot,
just "True Blood" mouth.
I look like I've been feeding, and I'm eating popcorn,
the way I think we all eat popcorn, which is--
you know, at first, don't you always kind of start out
kind of like lying to yourself?
Like, "I don't know, I'll have a little."
Ehm. [laughter]
Like one piece at a time, you know?
And then--and then, like, you get a little more real.
Right? [laughter]
and then eventually, you just--you get "real" real.
And just "gah!"
[laughter]
Like, I've split my lip trying to get one more kernel--
[laughter]
It's true. In my dumb mouth.
It is true.
- [laughing hard]
- And so that's what happened. If you Google me, it'll be--
And I--I look like her, actually.
I look like her if she were stung by a million bees.
[laughter]
It's true!
I look like her if she were, like, becoming the Hulk.
That's-- [laughter]
And she--you know, she wanted to be friends,
and I'm like, "I can't. I can't.
We don't have-- we're not the same thing."
Like she was telling me hot people problems, you know.
She's like, "He won't stop calling."
And I'm like, "[whine], I hate that."
[laughter]
Do you eat popcorn like that, though?
Are you a popcorn lover? - Yeah, I do.
And I eat it exactly like that. - Right?
- Yes. - I mean, that's why--
I'm so annoyed-- I'm single again,
so I'm going to have to start dating some guy,
and we'll go to the movies and he'll be like,
"Do you want to get popcorn?" and I have to be like,
"Oh, I hadn't even thought about it."
[laughter]
He's like, "What size?" and I'm like,
"[giggles] A small. Look at me."
[laughter]
Right, like a small popcorn? That's like taking one Advil.
Like, "get outta here."
[laughter]
"Get--I want a trough.
And I want to dunk my head in it."
And--and then, you know.
I'll be pretending not to think about the popcorn.
- Hilarious. So when you say
you're gonna start dating again, that means that you're--
are you dating at all?
- No, I, um--
Well, I know everyone here is like, "How do we date you?"
Thank you. [laughter]
[laughter]
You can't, and not just 'cause I'm not totally out of the woods
with this UTI I have right now, but also--
[laughter]
but also-- Thank you.
[laughter and applause] Oh, my God.
[laughter and applause]
No, but I'm not on any dating websites.
I don't--I'm on--I have one, like, app on my phone
that's kind of-- it's called "Foodspotting."
[laughter]
And it's like Tinder, but for food, so, it lets me know--
- Is this real? - This is totally real.
It lets--they let you know about food in your area.
So, like, this week in L.A., I was eyeing this one particular
scone.
And uh-- [laughter]
Under a mile away.
Coincidence? Probably not.
[laughter]
So, I'm like, "Should I go?" And my friends are like, "Go!
Like, check it out!"
So I went to the scone, and I kind of just sidled up to it,
and I was like, "Oh, my God, you look just like your picture."
[laughter]
So I'm kind of dating. Kind of dating.
- It's different than that. You should--
[laughs]
Oh, my God. - It's pretty much
the same exact thing. - Hilarious.
It's almost exactly the same. - Yeah.
コツ:単語をクリックしてすぐ意味を調べられます!

読み込み中…

The Unbelievably Hilarious Amy Schumer

44566 タグ追加 保存
romona 2017 年 12 月 5 日 に公開
お勧め動画
  1. 1. クリック一つで単語を検索

    右側のスプリクトの単語をクリックするだけで即座に意味が検索できます。

  2. 2. リピート機能

    クリックするだけで同じフレーズを何回もリピート可能!

  3. 3. ショートカット

    キーボードショートカットを使うことによって勉強の効率を上げることが出来ます。

  4. 4. 字幕の表示/非表示

    日・英のボタンをクリックすることで自由に字幕のオンオフを切り替えられます。

  5. 5. 動画をブログ等でシェア

    コードを貼り付けてVoiceTubeの動画再生プレーヤーをブログ等でシェアすることが出来ます!

  6. 6. 全画面再生

    左側の矢印をクリックすることで全画面で再生できるようになります。

  1. クイズ付き動画

    リスニングクイズに挑戦!

  1. クリックしてメモを表示

  1. UrbanDictionary 俚語字典整合查詢。一般字典查詢不到你滿意的解譯,不妨使用「俚語字典」,或許會讓你有滿意的答案喔