the answer and it’s not what you think.

Hey everyone, Julia here for Dnews. Let’s be honest, most people fantasize about sex.

These mental images can be a quick flash in a pan picture or a long drawn out narrative

of a picnic and romp on the beach. But contrary to a recent popular novel-turned-movie, most

people’s fantasies are really tame. The most common fantasy for both men and women?

Having romantic feelings for someone while engaging in sexual activity. Yeah you heard

me right, FEELINGS are the most common fantasy. So says a study from the Journal of Sexual

Medicine. But to be fair it was a self-reported Canadian study and surprisingly no maple syrup

was involved. But men and women are for the most part on the same page.

The three top fantasies for women

Having sex in a romantic location like on a deserted beach. (84.9%)

Having sex in an unusual place, such as in the office or a public toilet. (81.7%)

Taking part in oral sex. (78.5%)

Top Three fantasies for men

Taking part in oral sex. (87.6%) Having sex with two women. (84.5%)

Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse. (83.4%)

Yeah, pretty vanilla. Other findings? Both straight men and women frequently fantasize

about having sex with the same gender more than scientists previously thought. Domination

and submission also proved common.

What’s interesting about this survey, it reinforces how women very much separate the

fantasy from desire. While some admitted to imagining scenes of domination, they would

NEVER want that to happen in real life. Women love to read about it, but would never want

to actually meet Mr. Grey in an elevator. While most men on the other hand tend to equate

fantasy with desire.

So why do we fantasize at all? Sexual fantasies for a long time were considered sinful or

a sign of illness. Sexual fantasies in women were once a sign of Hysteria! Oh Victorian

social norms, how wrong you were. Well, now we see fantasies as healthy and important

parts of the sexual process. For both men and women fantasizing starts the sexy juices

flowing. Which might help women who feel like they have trouble getting into sexy time.

The more sexual fantasies you have, the more sexual desire you feel.

Fantasies can be a great way for couples to build trust and intimacy, either through sharing

them or acting them out, and half of all couples do discuss fantasies. It’s a great way to

mix up a marriage without messing up the monogamy. Talking about fantasies leads to better communication

and better sex, which can lead to a happier relationship, which can lead to greater life

satisfaction.

The trouble with fantasy comes when people use it not as a way to intimacy but as a way

to create distance between them and their partner. Let’s say you imagine someone else

other than your partner or imagine you’re not there in order to dissociate from the

experience.

No matter what your fantasy is, well unless it’s harmful to other people, children and/or

animals, it can be good for you! A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletins

suggests that fantasizing about sex improves analytical reasoning! Daydreaming about love

stimulates creativity. Which explains all the poems, songs and art.

And we know from previous research here at DNews how daydreaming is good for the brain.

So give a boost to your biggest sexual organ, your brain. Go forth and fantasize!

Guys, I am NOT gonna ask you about your sexual fantasies so just keep ‘em to yourself,

but tell me this: Is there a science topic you want us to cover? Any questions you want

us to answer? Leave them in the comments below and be sure to hit subscribe for more DNews

every day of the week.