You didn’t come when I sent for you.

I can’t imagine poor William was at all unclear.

Doesn’t quite have the brains for

delicacy.

So if you’re gonna kill me, why not just come yourself?

Kill you?

When you think of the lengths I’ve gone to save you from your own foolishness?

No.

But I thought we should talk without your little friends listening in.

Speaking of which…

[The Dean unplugs JP]

Hm.

[She crushes the USB]

Now, that was satisfying.

That little son of a glitch has been a loose end since he disappeared into that rabbit hole they call a library back in 1874.

You didn’t have to do that.

Yes, I did.

Threats to the sacrifice cannot be tolerated.

One day you’ll understand.

Do you think I’m ever gonna understand

why you fed the only girl I’ve ever loved to an abomination?

I think you’re a practical girl and you’ll see that

everything I do I do for the best.

That silly little creature couldn’t have loved you.

The second she knew what you were, she spilled your secrets like an idiot schoolchild.

She was a cockroach. A wretched, crawling thing like this one.

And you,

my glittering girl,

are a diamond.

Stone cannot love flesh.

See, all I’m hearing are your excuses

for why you let a supernatural suckfest turn you into its kitchen staff.

And you think you’ll be the one to change all that?

You’ll claw the Blade of Hastur from its underwater grave and strike out the light where we worship?

[Dips finger into the glass of blood and tastes it]

It was a good plan.

But you won’t try it.

It’s a blade meant to consume anyone who wields it. Why do you think the cult of Hastur buried the wretched thing?

[Sigh]

Darling,

there’s no way for you to fight; nothing to fight with.

Sometimes that’s just the way of the world.

And we must learn to bear it as best we can.

So if it’s all doomed, why even bother coming to tell me?

Because I would hate for you to become a threat to the sacrifice.

And instead,

I thought I’d offer you a deal.

If you can keep your little

pet here from making more trouble,

I’ll let you keep her.

Take someone else instead.

How could I ever trust you?

Why don’t I start us off with a gesture of good faith?

William, why don’t you bring in your little friend?

[Will and Kirsch enter]

Hi, sugar puss.

[Later]

Will said you needed some help with your big rescue plan.

And I was like, the Zetas are in!

Y’know, we’re up to being big damn heroes.

Told you Will was a total bro.

Isn’t he darling?

I do so enjoy chivalry.

Hey, Laura, you’re acting uh kind of, weird, even for you.

Hush, dear.

The grownups are talking.

I thought your hungry little nightlight wanted virgins.

Oh, you’ve been reading Berkeley’s transcriptions. That man was obsessed.

No, we just take girls because it’s traditional.

Besides, the world’s just gonna grind them up anyway, so it’s almost a mercy.

Uh, what’s she talking about?

This one, though, believes some idiot accident.

Perhaps depression over his lost sweetie.

So, what’s it to be? Shall we take the prom king here and leave you and the little moppet alone?

Dude,

I don’t get what she’s talking about.

Oh, it’s cool, bro. You’re gonna save Laura.

Alright. Sorry.

Because the other option is I simply waltz this adorable little body right out the door and into the sacrifice.

Deal.

Excellent.

William? [snaps fingers]

[Will puts Kirsch in a chokehold]

Will, dude! What are you doing?

Choking you, bro.

Okay.

Just choking you, bro.

[Kirsch passes out; Will drags him out of the room]

Remember,

she’s safe so long as you keep her from meddling.

If either of you get in the way again, all bets are off.

You’ve made yourself clear.

I should hope so.

Now be quick.

[Takes off necklace]

Catch.

[Laura falls onto the bed]

Laura! Laura! Hey!

[Cough]

Carm, what the…?

Hey, you’re fine.

It was…

the necklace, it was just a trap from my mother. It was poisoned.

But

it- we got it off in time.

Your mom plays dirty.

Man, she is gonna be so done when you show up all righteous with that sword.

Yeah, I don’t think she’s expecting anything like that.