talking to you, and then I was in that corner like no time had passed.

Well, it was more than just today.

We didn’t think you’d come back.

That other girl, Elsie— she didn’t come back.

They really took me.

If they did, those things are in my brain. How long do I have?

[Silence]

Great.

So, what do we know?

[Silence]

Please tell me you didn’t waste an entire day making brownies.

No, no! We found it. It’s this devouring light thing called Loopiformes.

Lophiiformes.

And it looks like the Dean sacrifices five girls to it every twenty years.

Wow, so much for the university’s progressive policies on feminism, huh?

[Chuckles]

So, uh, why would the Dean do that?

Well, why does anyone start a cult?

Wealth.

Power. Eternal youth.

To get back at people you knew in high school.

So, uh, is there anything in the book that might…?

No, it’s just… it’s more in the all-hail-and-cower-muling-worms vein.

Okay. So maybe we don’t have to go with the book, but

[LaF’s phone beeps]

ancient evil brain parasites, yes, so

maybe they don’t like, um, aspirin or cough syrup…

My phone is almost dead.

What’s this?

[Plays phone recording]

I didn’t see anything when they took me but

now I’m in this little room. It’s dark and it smells like limestone and water like a cave…

[Will]

I don’t know what she’s bitching about, I mean we’re fine.

The third one went so fast we didn’t need to collect her again.

This one replaced the airhead,

so we just need to score one more for the ritual for the new moon. It’ll be cake.

Ugh, damnit!

This one’s fainted.

Did you forget to water them again?

Good news, smarty pants. The Dean will see you now.

Oh, that’s okay. I know she’s busy

[Sound of LaF being hit]

[Recording ends]

Did you record your own kidnapping?

Maybe?

Incompetent idiots.

No, not you guys. My mother’s minions.

Who lets a kidnapping victim get in with a recording device?! That’s just…

[Laura elbows her]

uh,

By which I mean,

well done, you.

You did amazing. They have three girls down there

and they’re all still alive.

Yeah, but we still don’t know where there is

or how to deal with my mother, let alone some ancient, unspeakable evil.

So we’re still utterly screwed.

But there’s a ritual, right? So

maybe we just need to stop them from taking any more girls until…

what did Will say? The new moon.

We just have to last until Friday.

Which is also when my Lit paper is due.

Well, hey! If we get

sucked into an underground evil, your deadline will be moved.

[Laura snorts]

Thanks.

Hey. I gotta say,

all things considered,

you’re taking this really well.

Yeah.

It really doesn’t seem to be that scary.

It’s probably a bad sign, right?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

No, you… you can’t be going yet.

The others? They didn’t go this fast.

Maybe it’s ‘cause the ritual’s so close.

That might amp the little wormy dudes in my brain right up.

[gasps] Snacks!

That won’t be distracting.

Um, it’s okay.

I’ll…

I’ll stay with her and make sure she’s okay.

She’s my best friend.

Okay, come on, honey. Let’s go.

We’ll, uh, we’ll find you some place to go dancing.