They could be doing anything.

Sure.

But any money, LaF is with the other missing girls.

They’re down by two and they need to make up numbers.

What do you mean down by two?

Well,

they already lost Sarah Jane and I stopped them from taking Laura here.

So you mean that because you

protected Laura they needed a replacement, and so they took…

And you just let them? Why wouldn’t you have given her a bracelet too? Why would you have warned somebody?!

‘Cause whoever I help, they just end up taking more.

I didn’t think it’d be one of your friends.

Told you I’m not the hero of this peace.

What were you thinking, the two of you? Getting involved in all of this?

And putting everything you do up online

for everyone to see?

What if they’re putting those things in her brain?

What…

What if the last thing she remembers is that I was awful to her?

[Curls up on Laura’s bed crying]

I did this.

They took LaFontaine because they couldn’t take me.

‘Cause they could see my videos and they knew what we were up to.

[overlapping] Alright, just stop all of this before I get queasy.

Cupcake,

you are ridiculous and headstrong

and naïve and this whole Lois Lane Junior gig is doomed,

okay? But unless you’re going around kidnapping girls for some ancient unspeakable evil,

nothing that’s happening right now is your fault.

Really?

Yeah, [indicates to self] former minion of the evil?

Yeah.

Okay, but Perry’s not wrong either. We need to be smarter than this.

We need to make sure that we’ve warned anybody who might be in harm’s way.

[To the camera]

Which includes you. If you are on the Silas campus, you are in danger.

Duh.

Though, did anybody think to tell that big puppy that follows you around that his BFF’s a vampire?

Oh my god, Kirsch!

[Later]

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

Dude, no, okay? Will’s my bro.

He came with me to SJ’s memorial. Which was really sad.

Kirsch, I’m sorry.

The memorial was nice, though.

There’s, like, a little rock with her name on it.

I bring her flowers sometimes.

Pink ones. She liked pink stuff.

That’s sweet.

And look,

I get it. You guys are trying to help me because you think I’m dumb.

No!

Alright, you think I’m not good at math or science or English or whatever. But…

I know bros.

And Zetas?

We walk through fire for each other.

And even if Will is a vampire, he’s a Zeta first.

Doesn’t work that way, beefcake.

Well listen, out of the two of you, my man Will never tried to bite me.

Just do me a favour, okay?

Just be careful around him.

I was not kidding when I said he tried to kill me.

Okay.

Yeah.

And hey, if you’re not too busy fighting evil,

maybe you would come to the post-midterm bash on Friday?

We’re wrapping the goat in bacon this year.

Yum.

[Kirsch leaves]

[Sigh]

You can send a dude to college, but you can’t make him think.

[Laura chuckles]

Must be nice sometimes, though. To be normal.

Or oblivious. Nothing to worry about except the

midterm bash and whether the person you like’s gonna be there.

That must sound so stupid to you.

You’ve been to, what? A zillion dances.

Yeah, but most of the time I was bait in a supernatural con game.

So, you can’t remember what kids did for kicks back in 1698?

Ah, it wasn’t much different.

We drank a lot and danced like fools.

Waltzing was fun.

It had a

frisson scandal back then.

How is waltzing scandalous?

[Carmilla offers her hand to Laura]

Well...

Partners were face to face.

Chest to chest.

All of that, um, whirling.

[Carmilla spins Laura]

[Laura laughs]

In 1698 it may as well have been sex.

So you had some fun after all.

Uh, once or twice.

[Laura yawns]

Why don’t you just take mine

I’ll curl up on the floor.

No! I couldn’t make you…

Vampiric constitution trumps lower back pain.

[Carmilla goes into the bathroom]

Thanks.

Worst. Crush. Ever.