[Danny struggling to breathe]

I won’t let you hurt her.

Not to ruin your big heroic entrance, Xena, but she’s not the one in trouble.

If you think that I can’t get up—

[Carmilla snaps her head back]

I have been doing my very best to be patient about the ambush

and the hostage taking and the starvation diet

but I am having difficulty remembering why it is I haven’t torn out your spine.

No, don’t! Please don’t! Carmilla!

Look,

Danny’s sorry and she’s not gonna try and kill you again, right?

Danny?

Look, she’s nodding. That’s a nod.

[Carmilla lets go, Danny gasps for air]

Are you okay?

I’m fine. I was just… I was scared for you.

I know, but look! I’ve got everything under control.

Under control?

Laura, you think this is under control?

In the past two weeks, you’ve broken into the faculty club,

you have almost gotten killed at the library, you have offered yourself up as vampire bait and now she’s loose

and you have a bite on your neck!

Okay, there are perfectly reasonable—

reasons for all of that!

Oh, could you stop playing to the cheap seats for all of five seconds?!

Okay, so this is none of our business so we’re just gonna go. Um, Carmilla?

Oh, no. I’m good.

The filming that I do… it is part of something important.

And I’m not saying it’s not.

It’s just… you have to call me before you’re—

Have to call you? Because it’s, like, your job to keep me safe?!

Yes!

What?

I care about you! Of course it’s my job to keep you safe.

Well, I’m sorry that my making my own decisions and being reckless is making it hard for you

to do your job.

I didn’t mean it like that!

Yes, you did!

You meant that Laura’s too dumb to know what she can and can’t handle

and needs to be protected by the big strong grownups.

That’s all anyone ever wants to say to me. My dad, the Zetas, you.

[Look at Carmilla]

Everyone.

Laura—

I like you.

I really do.

I like that you’re brave and strong and all kinds of righteous but I don’t need a dad.

I’ve already got that one covered.

[To Carmilla]

Is this because of you and your—

No, no!

It’s just me and you

need different things, y’know?

Okay, fine. I’ll- I’ll back off.

Hey, dead girl.

If anything happens to her,

I’m coming back here with that stake, got it?

I'll hold my breath.

And just…

be careful, okay?

[Laura nods]

So…

I guess I’ll see you in class.

Yeah, about that… I—

What?

Nothing; it’s not important. Just a dumb question about my midterm.

Okay.

[Danny leaves]

Smooth, sundance. Smooth.

You suck.

Hm.

[Whirring, growing sounds from outside]

What the?

[Laura and Carmilla run to the window]

Are those giant mushrooms?

God, I hate this place.