Yeah.

Danny took one look and said: you look like you’re about to flee your brooding lover across the moors.

Which is accurate.

The fluffy sleeves things, not the brooding lover thing. That’s not a thing.

So, the plan is to hit the luau, hang for a while, roast some marshmallows,

lure Carmilla away so that Danny and the Zetas can grab her.

Not end up digested in the process. Fingers crossed on that last part.

[Carmilla enters, party music playing in the distance]

Don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice.

I’m not the one in a corset. Which…

wow.

Also, what is happening there? [re: champagne that Carmilla’s carrying]

Well,

the more I thought about a bonfire with those lackwits, the less interested I was.

Parties should be a shimmering moment of possibility,

not a collection of brutes around a piece of flaming driftwood.

So, I brought the party here.

The party being dancing in the hallway and

ludicrously expensive champagne… Where did you even find that?

I have my methods.

They served champagne at the first party I ever attended.

You say that like it was a hundred years ago…

Feels like more than that.

Like something seen underwater

from a great distance.

God, I’m a nostalgic idiot tonight.

You’re not wearing your charm.

Oh.

Yes! It just… didn’t go with my outfit.

Well, you shouldn’t’ve taken it off. It’s not gonna work if you’re not wearing it.

Oh. I’ll be sure to tie on my cool batwing bracelet first thing.

[Laughs nervously]

Look if you didn’t like it, you could’ve just said something.

No! I-I totally liked it. It was really nice of you to think of me.

What are you doing?

Uh, just texting Danny and the girls, seeing if maybe they wanna join—

[Carmilla snatches phone]

Uh...Hey.

Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.

That’d sound more flattering if it didn’t make sound like a canapé.

[Chuckles and pulls Laura’s chair over to her]

God, what am I doing?

Naïve, provincial girl.

Entirely too tightly wound.

Such a cliché.

I oughta know better.

Gee, thanks.

And yet...there’s something about you.

Maybe it’s my keen fashion sense.

No, it’s definitely not that.

[Danny barges in, followed by Perry, LaFontaine, Kirsch, et al.]

You!

Get away from her!

[Tackles Carmilla onto the bed]

[Carmilla tied to a chair, LaFontaine looks like she was in a fight, Danny has a black eye, Perry is tending to LaFontaine]

Vampire captured!

Even though I was unable to text for help,

in an unbelievably lucky series of events,

Danny got worried about my crazed plan and came to check on me.

[To Danny] Thanks. How’s your eye?

It’s better now that you’re safe.

Also, I got my head smashed into a table, if anyone cares.

And I’m pretty sure that Zeta guy Will has a fractured clavicle.

I can’t believe he went back to the party.

Bumps and bruises and the dubious legality of holding someone hostage in their own room aside,

I think this is cause for a little celebration. Guys, we did it!

And now that her reign of terror and flirting is over, we’ll unpod SJ and Natalie, we’ll find Betty, and—

[screaming from off-camera]

What was that!

We caught her fair and square! There is not allowed to be some new horrible thing.

[Kirsch barges in]

Laura! You gotta come quick.

It’s SJ and Natalie! I think somebody’s trying to take them. I can’t find Natalie and I think SJ’s…

I think she’s dead!