I mean, when I put the videos up I thought there might be a few of you who had seen the weird and wanted to help,

but the fact that there are so many of you… I mean…

I'm overwhelmed.

We're gonna figure this out.

And of course, when I say we I mean...

[Turns to reveal Danny, writing on a chart]

Danny and I!

We have been working nonstop and, not that we’re geniuses or anything, but I think we’re really close to a breakthrough.

Oh no, I totally think we’re geniuses.

[Carmilla makes gagging sound]

Oh, sorry. I just got really nauseous all of a sudden.

Oh, that’s too bad. Maybe you should lay down.

[Carmilla gestures the sign of the horns]

So, she’s kind of intense.

Yeah. You have no idea.

But we’re not here to get hung up on my jerkface roommate.

You're totally right!

Okay.

Okay, as far as we know, we have four missing girls.

All have disappeared at parties. Two have reappeared.

And both with no memory of what happened.

Exactly. But all the disappearances aren’t all the same, either.

Sarah Jane and Natalie were having those super creepy dreams and we don’t know if Betty or…

Elsie.

Elsie were having them and nobody else got a weird card or an elbow full of proto-shiitake goop.

[Danny Laughs]

I wish I’d gotten to see that.

You really don’t, actually.

So, can we think of anything else that the girls or the parties have in common?

[Montage of Danny and Laura working, Carmilla hanging out]

I think my brain has melted.

It's okay.

We’ll get you some carbs, some caffeine, you know, come at it fresh—

[running to fridge] Ooooh! Oh my gosh, I am a terrible host!

I haven’t even offered you anything to drink or a snack. Would you like a snack?

I...

I have… peanut butter, grape soda, snack cakes.

Oh my god. How are you even alive right now? You know all that stuff is filled with polysyllabic chemicals.

I know, but it’s also really delicious.

And chocolate is comforting in the face of epic failure.

It's not epic failure!

We have been at this for ages and there is just nothing.

Not, nothing.

Okay, look at this.

Okay, all four girls go missing at parties, right?

The under the sea swim team party, the Summer Society rush party,

the north quad mixer, the psychology wine and cheese…

All different events, planned by different groups…

Yeah, but look at the party gear!

Okay, at the… uh, at the swim team party,

small drink cauldron of Fizzy Dagons.

Mhm..,

At the wine and cheese, a three foot volcanic replica with melted brie.

At the Summer Society, bioluminescent candy bugs. And at the north quad mixer…

Party fog.

All provided courtesy of…

The alchemy department.

[Dramatic, gloomy music]

Wow, the glee club is really giving her, huh?

So, you think someone from the alchemy club is taking girls?

It's thin but it's a start,

Watson.

Have you even seen those lab rats you’re accusing?

Most of them couldn’t carry off a Twizzler.

She’s right. Maybe we should talk to Sarah Jane and Natalie again, see if anything jogs their memory…

Oh, great. Another visit from Miss Madness and Terror. That’ll be a blast.

[Later Natalie stops by in party gear]

Oh my god, this is so awesome! So, are you like, gonna put this on TV or something?

No… Are you feeling okay?

Oh my gosh, yes! I’ve never had more fun in my life.

Okay, because the last time we talked you were pretty freaked out, you know?

About the time that you were missing and the dreams?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That was scary, but so glad that that’s over.

Hey, do you guys, like, have any coolers? No, no?

Okay, anybody wanna do some table dancing?

[to Carmilla] You? No? [to Danny] You?

No...

Come on, hot stuff. I know you like to dance…

[Natalie dancing up against Danny]

No… No, no, no, no.