BERTRAND: Focus your energy.

Hold it.

Let it circulate through every nerve and channel.

Now push the power outwards, towards the book.

THE COUNT: Uh.

Ha.

That's it.

Well done, Vladdy.

-Keep going.

THE COUNT: At last we'll see how you lead us into the future.

-Ugh. [sigh].

-Two fingers, that's it.

If you were any good at your job, this pile of bones

would have given up weeks ago.

Vladdy would be commanding a glorious vampire army, and I--

I would be out of this stinking breather hole.

And in a luxury castle in Surrey.

-Surrey.

-Well, it's just a little pad I've had my eye on for a while.

If it wasn't for this buffoon, I'd

be picking out a portcullis by now.

Do better, or you'll answer to me.

-Sorry.

-[sigh] He's right.

You should've opened the book by now.

You've got the raw power, I can sense it.

Something's distracting you.

What?

-No he didn't.

He said kismet.

-Oh, uh, global warming.

Well, yeah, you know, the little polar bears and penguins.

Uh.

Ice.

-All right.

Let's take a break.

We'll do vertical flying at eight.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Homework?

-Yeah. "Romeo and Juliet."

-Ah, pretty stupid story, right?

-One guy gets the wrong message at the wrong time,

and they both end up--

-(IN UNISON): Dead.

VLAD: So, I was thinking.

If you'd like, maybe you and me could go into town?

Not like on a date or anything.

Unless-- unless you want to.

-Are you asking me out?

-No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

-I'll meet you by the gates at eight o'clock.

-OK.

Cool.

Uh, catch you later.

-Where are you going?

-Hunting.

-Can I come?

-Well, I suppose it might be educational.

-Oh.

Master?

The uh, last of the Duchess of Cambridge, 1937.

-Ah.

-I'm going on a night hunt.

-Master, you're taking this pup hunting?

-My not?

Man's best friend, and all that.

-If he's your best friend, what am I?

-A filthy, infected pustule I can't seem to get rid of.

-Oh.

Thank you.

-Ah.

Soy blood!

My vintage blood replaced with this tasteless synthetic goo!

Right!

Assemble everyone.

I will worm out this cowardly maggot, and crush them.

-So when are we going hun--

THE COUNT: Cancelled.

---ting.

-You are all suspects.

Well, except for Renfield, obviously.

Because he's a filthy little breather.

-Well, thank you very much.

-And Wolfie, because he's too young to drink blood.

You two may go.

-Might I suggest you put a guard on the blood, sir?

-Good idea.

Wolfie.

Guard the blood cellar.

Don't let anyone in.

Or you'll be out on your ear.

-Master, all that pup does is bark and scratch himself.

And yet he gets--

-And yet he's more useful to me than you've ever been.

-But I can prove myself, Master.

I'll catch the blood thief.

Yeah.

-Oh, stop wingeing.

Now go and help Wolfie prepare for his guard duties.

-Yes, Master.

-Yes, Master.

RENFIELD: I'll catch the blood thief.

I will, I will.

I will discover who drank the blood.

THE COUNT: So, which of you was it?

-You know I don't touch the stuff.

I only drink soy substitute.

-Me too.

-Yeah, right.

I've seen you drinking blood with my own eyes.

And he drinks it by the gallon.

-How could I have stolen it?

I spend all my time training Vlad.

-Enough!

You are all grounded until the culprit owns up.

-But I've got--

-The only thing you've got to do is open the book,

so we can all get out of here.

When are you going to do that?

-Ow.

Too tight.

Do it again.

-I don't know why you need a tie.

You're just a glorified guard dog.

-No.

I'm a pup security guard.

Dad said so.

-He's not your Dad, and he never will be.

-Well, at least he trusts me.

-I'm the only one he can rely on.

-[laughter]

[wolf howling]

-Oops.

[barking] [whine]

-Mm.

My prince.

Smart.

Eh?

But not smart enough.

VLAD: So, where do you want to go tonight?

-We can't, can we?

We're grounded.

-That's OK.

Bertrand will cover for us.

-Cover for you?

-Oh, uh, Erin and I are going out tonight.

-You're skipping training, and you

want me to lie to your father?

-Well, if that's OK with you.

-Yeah, Of course.

Don't worry about the Count, I'll take care of him.

-Thanks.

Really appreciate it.

-Good boy, Wolfie.

Good boy.

[growling]

-Little look.

[barking] [panting]

RENFIELD: Ah!

There's a footprint.

I caught you.

-Woof.

Woof.

Woof.

[panting]

-Good boy, Wolfie!

Stupid dog.

-I know what's distracting Vlad.

-Get rid of it.

-It isn't an it.

It's Erin.

-Mm.

That half breed still has her fangs into my Vladdy.

-They're going on a date tonight.

-Excellent.

Ambush them, get rid of her.

Job done.

-With respect, this problem may require more finesse.

-Subtlety is for breathers.

-I don't think so.

You're Vlad's father and his regent.

Why don't you show him where his true duty lies?

-Because.

I don't want him to hate me.

Look we need a clever plan.

We have to make it look like an accident.

And frame somebody else.

But who?

-Mhm.

-Because I'm worth it.

-Soy blood.

Doesn't seem very you.

Mm.

Duchess of Cambridge, '37.

An unmistakable vintage.

-It's just soy blood.

-Ah, what a shame.

I thought if anyone dared to taste forbidden blood,

it's be you.

-I've had plenty of forbidden blood.

-I could always spot a bad girl.

-Oh, you never met a girl as bad as me.

-Prove it.

You can take me to dinner.

In the blood cellar.

Eight o'clock.

[hiss]

-Not the one.

-[sigh] Soon, my beloved.

Soon we will be together.

-Erin?

Did you get the message?

-No.

-It's about meeting Vlad.

Can you meet him in the balcony instead?

-Yeah.

OK.

Thanks.

-My pleasure.

[fly buzzing]

-Hm.

Wicked.

-Shoes.

Not them.

Yeah.

Gloves.

Heh, heh.

Oh.

I gotta-- Oh, why don't you come to Daddy?

[laughter]

ERIN: Vlad?

[door opening]

[door closing]

[door opening]

-Sunrise.

And then you're toast.

Hm.

[humming softly]

[fly buzzing]

-Play dead.

-[snapping fingers]

Isn't he supposed to be guarding this place?

-I can handle Wolfie.

BERTRAND: Seems to me you can handle almost anything.

-But can you handle this?

-Genghis Fireblood Tempest, 1488.

-Just one.

-[sigh]

Oh, when your father finds out about this--

-You'll tell him?

Come on.

What are you?

A mad, bad vampire, or just some stuffy tutor?

-Mm.

I take my responsibilities to your brother seriously.

-Playing nursemaid?

-Ah.

It's not as simple as that.

-What do you mean?

Oh.

His little crush on the half fang.

As if that's going anywhere.

-Yeah, you're right.

She's still hung up on her old breather boyfriend.

-[scoffs] Typical half fang.

Can't ever quite let go of the past.

Does Vlad know?

-No.

Could get messy.

-How messy?

--[sigh] She's going to meet the ex tonight.

And Vlad is at the school gates right now, waiting for her.

She stood him up.

-Fantastic.

Mm.

What a great evening.

Dinner and a show.

-[sigh]

Hm.

-Hey.

Expecting someone?

-No.

What do you want?

-Nothing.

I just wanted to hang out with you.

What's wrong with that?

-Everything.

Go away.

-Mm, moody.

Hanging around the school gates on Friday night.

Some way to spend it.

-Shut up.

-What's biting your neck?

-Nothing.

-You're angry, defensive, paranoid.

You know, anyone would think you'd been stood up.