ヤングドラキュラ - BBCシリーズ - シーズン2 Ep 1 "Kidnipped" (Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 2 Ep 1 "Kidnipped")

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[music playing]
-No!
[crow caws]
-I know you're a vampire and you know I'm a slayer.
[screams]
-Prepare to die.
I slayed a vampire.
[laughing hysterically]
Run.
-Don't go now.
The parties just getting started.
-We'll meet again.
-Can't wait.
[heavy breathing]
[relieved sigh]
-Morning, Vlady.
Hurry up and get dressed.
We've got slayers to fight.
[door slams]
-Did you enjoy the remainder of the Hunt Ball, Master Vlad?
-Oh, yeah.
I had a blast.
The music, the dancing, the attempted slaying of my father.
-Did Mr.Groucy get out the wrong side of the bed?
-I know what will cheer you up.
A nice bit of bubble of squeak.
[mouse squeaking]
[laughing]
-He wants a man, not a mouse.
He wants to feast on the blood of our enemy.
Don't you Vlad?
-Actually I was thinking more of Corn Flakes.
Look, Dad, about Mr. Van Helsing, we need to talk.
-Yeah.
I still can't believe you let a slayer slip through your fangs.
-For once I agree with Mistress Ingrid.
You wouldn't have done that 200 years ago.
-Silence!
I let him go deliberately.
I prefer to catch my prey in the wild.
If only you were 16 and had your formal vampire powers,
you could fly along with me.
-Oh, I'm gutted.
-So Van Helsing [inaudible] is finished with him.
[laughing]
-Take me with you.
I'm nearly 16 and I'll be a vampire way before him.
-Get help from a girl.
[laughing]
We are the men of the house and we can fight our own battles.
-While I stay home cooking and cleaning, I suppose?
-Excellent.
Renfield you're fired.
-Eat garlic.
-Renfield, keep up the good work.
-Oh, thank you.
-Maybe 600 years ago you could bite your neighbors and battle
with slayers, but not now, not here.
This is Stokely.
They have separate crossings.
So unless you want us to get chased out of town again,
I suggest we make friends with the slayers.
-Friends?
Vampires and slayers can never be friends.
We're opposites.
We're sun and moon, life and death, steak and--
-Chips?
Any one?
Huh?
-Van Helsing dies tonight.
-It says here a vampire can not enter a dwelling
without first being invited in.
So why all the extra security?
-Oh, I don't know.
I just thought it might be a good idea now
that the Count is trying to kill us.
-We shouldn't be sitting here waiting to be bitten.
We should launch a surprise attack on the castle tonight.
-I thought you said slaying was so
boring it made gardening look fun.
-Yeah, well, that's when I thought you were crazy.
Sorry.
-That's OK, son.
When my dad told me he was a vampire slayer,
I laughed in his face.
Then he made me wash my mouth out with garlic water.
-Oh, nice.
-But he taught me the first rule of slaying--
protect your family.
Which is why I'm sending you to live with your mother.
-What?
-You'll be safe there. -I don't want to be safe.
I want to help.
We're a team now. We're the amazing Van Helsings.
OK, well that sounds like a circus act.
Please let me stay.
-It's all arranged.
You're booked on a train after school.
I'm sorry, Jonno.
Jonathan.
-Now, all I need is a guinea pig.
Or a stuffed wolf.
Zoltan, here boy.
-If you're addressing me, you boil-infested buffoon.
May I remind you I'm not a boy and resent
being ordered about like some simple-minded dog.
-Fetch.
[whistles]
[panting excitedly]
[wood thuds]
[thud]
-I can't sleep.
You know I haven't been this excited since 1906.
Remember that can-can dancer from the Moulin Rouge?
The slayer that tried to stake me with a stiletto shoe.
She was O positive with just a hint of juniper berries.
See if we have a bottle left in the cellar.
-I shall, sir.
-Renfield, what have you been doing?
-Setting traps for Van Helsing.
I've got the whole castle covered.
He won't get in.
-You idiot!
I want him to get in.
We have nothing to fear from a pathetic slayer like him.
Throw open the doors and windows, he can't hurt me.
[sizzling and screaming]
Not now, you idiot!
Tonight!
-Relax.
Mr. Van Helsing won't slay you at school.
He'll wait until you're at home alone.
-Where were you last night when the vampires
were trying to suck our blood?
-I was tied up.
-Oh, I see.
You had something more important to do than saving my family.
-No.
I mean Mr. Van Helsing tied me up.
By the time I got to the castle you were safely home.
-Yeah.
No thanks to you.
-It won't happen again.
Promise.
-Vlad, that's a promise you can't keep.
I'm sorry but I'm never setting foot in that castle again
and neither should you, Robin.
-So we dump our friend just because his dad
may drain us of blood?
-Nobody is going to be drained of blood.
I'm going to find a way for vampires and breather-- sorry,
people-- to get along.
No more fighting.
-Get ready to fight, weirdo.
-Well you certainly got your work cut out.
Shut up, weirdo number two.
-I won't fight you.
-Good.
That makes it easy for me.
[chanting "fight"]
-Leave them.
Apparently Vlad can fight his own battles.
[bell rings]
-Problems cannot be solved by violence.
Isn't that right, Mr. Van Helsing?
-Yes.
You're right.
Violence is-- bad.
-I just want us to be friends.
-That's the spirit, Vlad.
-I'm not shaking the hand of a vampire.
-Vampire?
-Vlad's a vampire and we're slayers.
-What is he talking about?
-I have no idea.
-Dad!
-He's been under a lot of stress lately.
He's going to stay with his mother for a while.
-This is all your fault, vampire!
-The u-bend blockage lead to a methane build up in the toilet.
They tried to get rid of the smell
by lighting a scented candle.
Kaboom!
[laughter]
Looked like someone had thrown in a poo grenade.
[laughter]
-Ian.
How many times have I told you, I
won't have sewage at my dinner table.
-Is Vlad OK?
-What do you care?
I thought you weren't his friend anymore.
-Sensible move, Chloe.
That family are a right bunch of oddballs.
-You just don't like anyone who isn't wearing a boiler suit.
-Ingrid's all right.
She lets us keep our lunch money some days.
-Oh, yes.
She's all heart.
-I know she can be difficult, but I
feel sorry for her and Vlad.
It can't be easy growing up without a mother.
-Well, I feel sorry for us having
to be neighbors with them.
I don't want you going to the castle anymore, do you hear?
-Sorry, Mom.
I'm not hungry.
I'm going to see Vlad.
-Elizabeth.
Say something.
-Oh, give this cherry pie to Mr. Count.
He was looking a bit peaky last night.
-And be back by 9 o'clock or else
you're grounded for a month.
Eat.
-Come on, Jonno.
Let's not part like this.
-Why did you take me slaying if you
didn't want me fighting vampires?
-Because one day I want you to become
a great slayer, just not today.
-The sun will set soon, you should get back to the caravan
while it's still light.
I'm old enough to see myself on to a train.
-I'll send for you
-What's the big emergency?
Apart from the fact that your room stinks.
-It'll be dark in a minute and dad
will fly off to kill Van Helsing.
-And?
-We have to stop him.
-Have you got sun stroke?
Fighting slayers is one of the perks of being a vampire.
That and looking great in black.
-That's old school thinking.
-So you think dad should hang up his fangs?
-He's stuck in the past.
It's about time we made peace with the slayers.
-There will be no more talk of peace
between vampires and slayers.
-The war must end.
-Slayers will always be our enemy.
We shall bite them on the beaches.
We shall bite them in the fields and in the streets.
We shall bite them in the hills.
We shall never surrender.
[wailing]
-Shut your mouth, Branagh.
-That is so cool.
-That is not cool.
He's going to attack Van Helsing.
He's locked it.
[wings flapping]
-Hello?
[wings flapping]
Who's there?
[wings flapping]
[wings flapping]
You don't scare me, Dracula.
I'm not afraid of vampires.
-Boo.
-Ah!
-If I don't get back by 9, I'll be grounded for a month.
-Robin, my dad is going to kill our woodwork teacher.
-Point taken.
I'll see you at the bottom, hopefully in one piece.
-What's that?
-A skeleton key.
-You know, you really are evil.
-Come on.
-Dad!
[wings flapping]
[dracula laughing]
[dracula grunting]
Dad, where are you?
[door rattles]
DRACULA: The wolf knocked on the door.
-And said, little pig, little pig, please let me in.
[dracula laughing]
No, no, said the little pig.
Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in.
-You forget.
The little pig kills the wolf in the end.
So come on in if you're feeling lucky.
-So nice of you to invite me in.
-Vlad!
Vlad!
Vlad?
-We have to do something.
If dad kills Van Helsing, our whole future
is at stake-- in a non-pointy wood kind of way.
-Did someone mention my name?
-You're not dead.
-Not last time I checked.
-Pity.
-Now, where's your father?
-He's gone to Spain to top up his tan.
You'll know when he's back because you'll
two holes in your neck.
[exclaiming]
-Caught in your own trap.
How ironic.
-Mr. Van Helsing, wait.
We don't have to keep fighting.
Let's try living together in peace.
No slaying.
No biting.
-A truce?
-What do you think?
[gasps in pain]
-Can't you do anything right?
You useless bag of bones.
-You were just distracting me.
You're as devious as your father.
-You've got it all wrong.
I was just trying to help.
-Oh, you can help me all right.
-Tell your master to give himself up
if he wants to see his kids again.
-Dad, Robin is not back from the castle and it's gone 9:00.
-That boys gone from bad to worse.
-Stop fretting.
I'm sure Mr. Count will send him home soon.
Chloe, bed.
-Well, if he doesn't you can always
go up and give him some more of your cherry pie.
-Vlad?
-Ah, Robin.
I believe you know my next victim.
-Help me.
-Oh, so now you want help from weirdo number two.
-Please.
-You know, kidnapping is kind of illegal.
-Give Van Helsing a message.
Tell him to give himself up if he
ever wants to see his son again.
-OK.
But while I'm gone, no biting.
-I thought I told you to take down all your stupid traps.
You're supposed to be babysitting,
not hanging around like a fool.
[thud]
Now go and get Vlad and Ingrid.
I want to show them my catch.
-Well, you see the thing is, sire.
They've gone out.
They said don't wait up because they'll be home late.
-Aw, young hell raisers.
Going somewhere?
-What a dump.
You should really cut back on your garlic bills
and spend some money on a house.
-You think because you live in a castle you're better than me?
-No.
I'm better than you because I'm a vampire.
-Vampires, slayers, what's the difference?
I say we all stop fighting and become one big happy family.
-What are you two doing here?
-Having a singalong.
What does it look like?
[quiet laughing]
-You think this is funny?
-Well sort of.
You and the Count have kidnapped each other's kids.
-Don't try and bluff me.
Jonno is at his moms probably unpacking
his suitcase as we speak.
-Do you mean that one?
-You're fighting on the wrong side, Jonathan.
100 years from now I will still be standing here
and you will be the dust under my feet.
-100 years?
How will you cope with the boredom?
You haven't even got broadband.
Immortality is a gift and a curse.
I am the flame that burns forever, never to go out.
-Dad.
-Renfield.
-Yes, my most wonderful lordship.
-Tell Van Helsing I would like my offspring back.
-But as I told you, my master.
Vlad and Ingrid are safe and well.
They just popped to the--
-I will deal with you later.
It seems we've reached a stalemate.
Or perhaps not.
-Oh, nice move.
What?
-Very well.
Let Vladmir go and I'll give myself up.
-Uh, what about me?
-Oh, yes.
I suppose you'd better let her go too.
-Don't do it, dad.
He'll slay you.
-No, I won't.
I'll interrogate him first, then I'll slay him.
-This is the price of peace, Vlad.
-If you try to escape, this vile will
break, releasing the deadly garlic juice.
-Hmm, ingenious.
Oh, and don't fix me any dinner.
I'll be eating out.
-Well this is a total disaster.
-What are we going to do?
-I say we finish the slayers once and for all.
-How are we supposed to fight Mr. Van Helsing
when he's so much bigger than us?
-I've got a plan.
-Well I do like your caravan.
It's like a large coffin on wheels.
-Sit.
-Isn't it customary for the condemned man
to choose his final meal?
-You're not a man, you're a menace
feeding off the weak and the--
---honorable and spreading my evil curse across the land,
blah, blah, blah.
I've heard it all before.
-Well, you won't be hearing it again.
You're going to give me the names and locations
of every vampire that you know.
Jonno, step outside.
-But dad!
-You can't send him outside.
He'll miss all the fun.
-Now, Jonno.
We're moving?
They're towing us away.
-What do we do now?
-Die!
-Go left!
-Go right!
-Go faster!
[ingrid grunts angrily]
-The stake, Jonno!
Grab the stake!
-Got it!
-Hungry?
Me too.
-I told you I should drive.
-You don't know how to drive.
-Well, that makes two of us then.
[sneeze]
---did something stupid.
It was his fault.
-Oh, no.
-Right.
That's it.
I'm going to get Robin and I'm going
to give Mr. Count a piece of my mind.
-OK.
So we get back.
Then what do we do?
-I don't know.
-What do mean you don't know?
-This is your plan.
-I'm sure I'll come up with something.
Renfield, drive.
-Dad!
-Not now, Jonathan.
I'm kind of busy.
-The hearse is gone.
-Something tells me this isn't going to end well.
-Shame and we were having such fun.
Au Revoir, mes amis.
-Dad, I need to wee.
[splash]
-Well, where is it?
-I didn't want to upset you.
-Upset us?
Why would we be upset that our dad is freewheeling
around Stokely with a couple of slayers.
-And what a lot it was, too.
-Dad?
[heavy sigh]
-You know, son.
I think slaying the count is going
to be harder than we thought.
[laughing]
-Dad, about the Van Helsings.
-It was fantastic!
-And just who do you think you are
keeping my son out at all hours?
You may let your children run wild,
but that is not the Branagh way.
-Please accept my most humble apologies.
Robin was assisting us in a family emergency.
-He was?
-You've raised a very caring and considerate son.
-He has?
-Oh, well, that's very kind of you to say so.
Come on, Robin.
Let's get home.
My knees are freezing.
-Oh, and please thank Elizabeth for about delicious cherry pie.
What?
I can't be nice to breathers once in awhile?
-I'm a breather.
Ow!
Ow!
That's not nice.
-And neither is letting my children
be captured by my sworn enemy.
-So what did you do to the Van Helsings.
-You butchered them, right?
-Unfortunately not.
-I guess we can't be friends with the slayers.
Sorry, dad.
-Defeating them may be harder than I thought,
it's going to be a lot of fun.
[music playing]