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  • Lizzie: As any of you who watched my last video with Jane already know, I recently had the absolute

  • pleasure of meeting Bing Lee's friend and house guest, William Darcy.

  • Absolute isn't the right word.

  • It was more of a grotesque, nauseating, run the other way as if your life depended on it pleasure.

  • Darcy is so obnoxious, I can't tell if I like Bing Lee now, or if he just seems awesome by comparison.

  • Darcy's boring, stuffy, unbelievably rude. He thinks he's too good for us "common folk."

  • But he's handsome! And rich! Even richer than Bing Lee! Oh, dilemma, dilemma!

  • But you want to know what the coup de grace is?

  • Even my mother hated him.

  • My name is Lizzie Bennet and William Darcy is a snob.

  • "Snobby Mr. Douchey" Written by Rachel Kiley

  • I just can't properly express what an infuriating douchebag this guy is.

  • Just because you're rich and heir to some kind of entertainment empire does not mean you're better than everyone else.

  • He probably uses his money to lounge around all day in five thousand dollar boxers watching BBC miniseries with people he

  • pays to be his friends since no sane human being could ever actually put up with him.

  • I mean, what does he do with his life?

  • I do things with my life. I read. Study. I play tennis.

  • I mean, I used to play tennis.

  • I have a video blog!

  • Whatever. And since I'm all about the dramaLydia!

  • Lydia: I'm not ready yet! Lizzie: Oh come on! Get your ass out here.

  • Lydia: This dance is super slammin'! So is that Jane Bennet.

  • I wanna bang the ---- outta her.

  • Are there any hot chicks that you'd like to slip your man-banana into, Darcy my homie?

  • What? That's totally how guys talk!

  • Lizzie: This dance is preposterous.

  • I hate dancing. It's a waste of time. Like saying nice things to people.

  • Many of these people seem to be enjoying popular music unironically.

  • Besides, none of these girls stand up to my ridiculous standards.

  • Lydia: What about Jane's sister, Lizzie?

  • I know she's not that great looking, but you could do worse.

  • I bet she could use a good sexcapade. She probably hasn't gotten laid in years, and those are the freaky ones.

  • Lizzie: You found the only pretty girl at this wedding.

  • Even if she smiles too much.

  • I dislike smiling. It contorts the face.

  • Lydia: Yeah. On second thought, Lizzie Bennet is kind of a dog. No wonder she's perpetually single.

  • You'd be better off hooking up with her younger, sexier sister, Lydia. Now she's a catch.

  • Lizzie: So there you have it.

  • William Darcy? Total snob. In a somewhat true to life portrayal.

  • Lydia: 'Cause I'm all about the true to life, bitches!

  • You want the real story? You ask the Ly-dee-yahhh.

  • Lizzie: I need more friends.

  • And less sisters.

  • What's wrong with you?

Lizzie: As any of you who watched my last video with Jane already know, I recently had the absolute

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スノビー氏Douchey - Ep.6 (Snobby Mr. Douchey - Ep: 6)

  • 103 2
    稲葉白兎 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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