字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント [theme music] [sniffing] -Cock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-doo! -, you're a wolf not cockerel. Please try to remember that. ZOLTAN: I'm sorry, Master Vlad. Your father wants to see you straight away. -Well, that doesn't sound very good. Is he angry? -No, he's not angry. -Whew. -He's furious. He's been reading you're school report. -But my report's good. -Yes, that seems to be the problem. RENFIELD: Vlad is a nice boy who is a pleasure to teach. -Nice? Nice! You're a vampire, Vlad, and vampires are never nice. Not even at Christmas. -Dad, I'm not like you. I can't do charming and deadly. -No, but you can do pathetic and loser really well. Face it, Dad, he's just not cut out to be a vampire. Me, on the other hand-- RENFIELD: Ingrid is a born troublemaker who delights in causing as much destruction to the class as possible. -Oh, Ingrid. Can't you see I'm busy with the future Count Dracula here. -But I'm the eldest. I want to inherit the title. [laughter] COUNT DRACULA: Mmm. Countess Dracula. -Countess Dracula? COUNT DRACULA: That's a good one. RENFIELD: That's a good one. -Now Vlad, I want to wake up and smell the coffee. Now promise me-- promise you'll try harder to cause trouble at school. -Yes, Dad. COUNT DRACULA: That's my boy. [sighs] [paper ripping] -Robin is moody and difficult in class. He only cheers up when he's dissecting a frog. Please, could you ask him not to do this during maths. PAUL: Morning. -Morning. -Why the long faces? -It's Robin's school report. It's not good. -Well, we can't all be child geniuses, Little Miss Einstein. -Besides, how many GCSE's you need to be a grave digger? -Ha. Ha. Shouldn't you two be up playing rugby and getting badly injured? -Come on, I'm hungry. Race you to the muesli? -Oh, Robin. Why can't you be happy like Ian and Paul? -They're not happy. They can cursed. -Look, Robin. Mum and Dad just don't want you to end up on the streets, having to beg people for money. -And my Dad wants me to end up on the streets making people beg for their lives. -You just can't keep away, can you, Ingrid? You're drawn to me like moth to a flame. INGRID: Drop dead, Branagh. If you think I'm going to stand back and watch you inherit my castle, you're more stupid than he looks. VLAD: Do you think I like being Count, Junior? Dad's waited 600 years for a son and heir. Would have made my life a lot easier if I was born a girl. -You know you really shouldn't say that out loud. INGRID: I'm going to show Dad why I should be his favorite. I'm going to be the biggest troublemaker this school has ever seen. -Oooh. Opening an umbrella indoors, that's bad. You go girl. VLAD: Dad's not going to be impressed by that. [fire alarm] -I stand corrected. I'm wet. -You know, your sister really is quite twisted. I like that, though. -Well, don't just stand there. Turn it off! [sigh] -It wasn't us! -Do the words red-handed ring any bells? I'm suspending you two until further notice. Looks like I'll be having a word with your father. Won't that be nice? -I suppose you think this is funny? -Funny? I think it's terrible what happened. I mean, who could do such a-- Ha, ha, ha, ha. You look hilarious. Wait until my dad hears about this. -He won't have to wait very long. Vlad's probably telling him as we speak. -Vlad? CHLOE: Van Helsing suspended him and Robin over the fire alarm. They were in a lot of trouble because of you. -No! [party horns blowing] VLAD: I'm guessing the school rang you then? -Suspended. Vlad, I knew you could do it, you young hell-raiser! RENFIELD: Congratulations, Master. I have baked a cake in your honor. VLAD: You shouldn't have. RENFIELD: It's chocolate. And pig's blood. [spitting] -Really, you shouldn't have. -Mmm. Sweet and uh, tangy. ZOLTAN: Ahem. I have composed a poem to celebrate your great achievement. There once was a vampire called Vlad, who was terribly naughty and bad. He got suspended from school and learned to be cruel. So now he can fang out with his dad. -Huh. This is ridiculous. -Well, it probably needs a bit of work, but-- VLAD: I mean, this! I don't want to be suspended. I want to learn things. I want to lead a normal life. RENFIELD: Oh. Cake, anyone? I'll make a start on the washing up. -Psst. Don't leave me here. -I am, uh, very disappointed in you. ZOLTAN: I am sorry, Master. I am just not good with family rows. -Not you. Him! -I'll just be over here if you need me. [whimpers] -Oh, Dad! You've got to stop creeping up on me like that. -It's all part of the training, Jonathan. A good vampire hunter never drops his guard. You can't be too careful. Could be anywhere. JONNO: Oh, you mean that one behind you? VAN HELSING: I'm serious. You'll see. I'll need your help, Major. We're going slaying. JONNO: You know, Dad, just for once it'd be nice if you said, let's go bowling or let's go to the cinema. -But slaying is fun. JONNO: You call hiding behind some rocks watching the castle all night, fun? VAN HELSING: This is going to be different. The time for watching and waiting is over. Vlad has given me the perfect excuse to suspend him. -So? -Which gives me the perfect excuse to visit the castle. We're going in. -But, Dad, they're not vampires. We've been watching them for weeks, and the only things we've seen that bite are mosquitoes. VAN HELSING: Sometimes, you have to go with your gut reaction. JONNO: I know all about your gut reaction. We share a caravan toilet, remember. But, Dad, I'm not gonna let you slay that family. -Oh, yeah?