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[theme music]
-Now fly into my arms.
Come on, fly!
Fly like a bat!
-Dad, this is stupid.
-It's not stupid, it's fun.
Now come on, every young vampire must learn how to fly.
-So why haven't you taught me yet?
-Oh, Ingrid, I've told you.
It's because you're a girl.
-Look, I've got to get to school.
-You did it.
You flew.
-Yeah, from the table to the ground.
-Oh, my son and heir.
Where's my money bag?
-Dad, for the last time, I can't-- believe it.
I can fly.
-You're not seriously giving him 10 pounds for that?
That's so unfair.
-Oh, Ingrid, darling.
I shall never understand this irrational jealousy
of my favorite child.
Now Vlad, let's see you flying from up there.
-What-- um--
-Yeah, come on.
Let's see you in action.
-I'd love to, but-- I better not be late for school.
Bye.
-I wouldn't be treated like this if mum was here.
-Well, she isn't, is she?
So tough peasants.
-Dad, what are you doing?
-Shh.
Vampire surveillance.
-Can't we give slaying a rest?
-No, we can't.
I know Vlad's a vampire.
I just need to prove it.
-No, what you need is help.
ERIC: Ow!
-Thank you, boys.
Just down here will be fine.
Not you, the bag!
Go on, scram!
-Oh, someone got out their coffin the wrong side.
-Ingrid, you're sulking.
Because I can fly, and she can't.
-You'll be flying out the window if you carry on.
-Oh, and, uh, by the way, mum says hello.
-Mum?
You've spoken to mum?
-Yeah, I've asked her to stay for a couple of days.
-You did what?
-Don't you want to see her?
-I'm sorry, which mum we talking about here?
Because I'm thinking of the back stabbing witch from hell one.
-Cool!
At least she sounds like a proper vampire.
I mean, you two haven't got a fang between you.
-Just you wait until I'm 16, Branaugh.
-Are you OK, Vlad?
-Why, shy shouldn't I be?
-Got you.
[crash]
Oh!
-So I carry the one and add up the columns, which makes 3,921.
-Correct.
-Wow.
I never realized doing homework could be so much fun.
-You're joking.
-I'd rather have my tongue pulled out.
-Oh, don't say that when mum gets here, Robin.
Wouldn't want to give her ideas.
-You really believe she's going to turn up
after all the times she's let us down?
Mum doesn't care about us.
She ran off with the a werewolf.
Get over it.
-Werewolf?
This gets better and better.
Is he coming too?
-Ignore her.
My mum is not coming to stay.
[door opens]
[wind blowing]
-Hello, darlings.
-Oh, is that the time?
Come on, Robin.
-Oh, mum, I've missed you.
I hate living with dad.
-There, there, don't cry.
No, really.
Don't.
It's a Sach.
And how's my little Vladdy?
Goodness.
Haven't you changed?
-Not that much, I haven't.
-Oh, Vlad.
I didn't recognize you.
-[coughing]
Who let the skunks out?
Oh, it's you, Mistress Magda.
-So you're still around, are you?
Take my case up to the spare coffin, serf.
I'll see you all at dinner.
Or for dinner, even.
-Your mum's awesome.
-Yeah, isn't she?
-Dad's going to be so pleased to see her.
COUNT DRACULA: Out!
-But Bunbun--
-And don't call me Bunbun.
Now go on!
Back to that manky dog you left me for!
-Well, Patrick and I have been having some problems.
-You just thought you'd come crawling back to me, eh?
-I thought I'd pop in for a drink and a chat.
I brought our favorite tipple.
-French Aristocratic, 1792.
Oh!
There's a spare towel in the airing cupboard.
But if I catch hide or hair of that werewolf,
you're straight out the door!
Psycho!
INGRID: Wow, that's beautiful, just seeing the two of you
back together.
-I am so over her!
Did you think there was a bit of chemistry there?
[organ playing]
-Is this your idea of a sick joke?
INGRID: They're mum's favorite.
-You know what I mean.
Dad's just going to end up getting hurt again.
-Dad, the cold hearted Prince of Darkness?
-Oh!
Ah!
These trousers are pinching a bit.
-What are you wearing?
-Hot stuff, eh?
If Patrick can pull it off, so can I. Ow!
-Dad!
You don't need to dress up.
Just be yourself.
You and mum were meant to be together.
-Yeah, until she left us.
-Stop being so negative.
Don't you want us to be a family?
-Not if she's going to leave us again.
And she will.
The last thing we need is another full grown vampire
roaming around trying to bite people's heads off.
-Oh, come on.
How many people have I attacked since we got here?
-Dad, we've had 11 different postmen.
-Master Vlad does have a point.
Hey, let's get rid of her.
I put garlic in her soup.
-Renfield.
Do you want these worms in your face?
-I-- I'd rather eat them.
Yaaaa!
Ahhhh!
-You hear that, Jonno?
Another innocent victim of the evil Count Dracula.
-You actually saw him bite someone?
-Yes.
Sort of.
No.
-Well, sharpen the wooden stakes.
The guy's clearly a vampire.
They're all vampires, Jonno.
There's even a mother vampire.
I heard it with my own ears.
-Dad, trust me.
I spend all day with Vlad.
I think Id know if--
-That's it.
JONNO: What is?
-Well, here's me doing all this secret surveillance
stuff when you're in his class.
Jonno, you are going to be my mole.
-Mole?
I'm not being anyone's mole.
I'll be your special agent.
-Hey, that's my boy.
Special agent, code name-- Mole.
-So, how do I look, Vladdy?
-Desperate?
-Fantastic.
-Mum's never going to come back and live here.
And why would you want the world's worst mum back anyway?
She's selfish, manipulative, and totally evil.
Hi, mum.
-Vlad, darling.
Why do you hate me?
-I don't hate you.
I just don't want us all to get hurt again.
I mean, how long are you going to stay this time?
-Well, that's down to your father, isn't it?
[organ playing]
-I know I've been a bad mother, but we all make mistakes.
I just wish we could be a family again.
-Well, dad's not falling for it this time.
Are you, dad?
-Oh, Magda!
-Oh, Bunbun.
-Welcome home.
[music stops]
-Right.
Now mum's back, I want Vlad's room.
-I think that sounds fair.
-Hang on!
Dad gave me that room.
Didn't you, dad?
-Oh, Vlad, just do as your mother says.
-But dad, it's me, your son and heir.
Vladdy!
You're not going to let them take away my room, are you?
I'm going to trash you next week.
It's called "My Mum's A Two-Timing, Blood Sucking
Vampire, And My Dimwit Sister's Asked To Live With Us."
-Vlad, get over it.
Mum's back.
-Yeah, course she is, until the next full moon
when she runs off with another werewolf.
-OK, firstly, that's not going to happen.
And secondly, I've got your room now.
Sucker.
-Right, that's it. I've got to get rid of her.
-Are Issue serious?
-Yeah, she'll ruin everything.
Dad's already thrown me out of my room.
-There are worse things that could happen.
-It's not just that.
She's done this ever since we were little.
Turns up, promises the world, then leaves.
I can't go through it again.
-OK.
It's a bit radical, but there is one
way you could get rid of her.
Remember what your dad was saying?
That if he found hide or hair of that werewolf,
Magda would be straight out the door.
-Mmm.
Nice idea, Chloe, but where we going to find werewolf hair?
-Uh-- uh-- I'm just going for a, uh, no!
-And then, of course we'll need a bigger coffin.
-Magda please.
I'm trying to sleep.
[howling]
What was that?
It sounded like a--
-Werewolf hair, all over the upstairs bathroom.
-What!
-I mean, I don't mind you sneaking your boyfriend in,
mum, but tell him to keep out of the plug hole, yeah.
COUNT DRACULA: Out!
-But Bunbun--
-Out!
Witch!
INGRID: Dad, please, just give her one more chance!
-And you can give that room back to Vlad.
-What, Just because mum--
-Betrayed us all?
Yeah, I did try and warn you this might happen, Ingrid.
MAGDA: Ahh!
Oh!
Ah!
Bunbuns, it's still daylight out there.
I mean, where am I supposed to go?
-It's not going to work.
-But you're always saying we should help the homeless.
-I'm sorry, Robin.
It's a nice idea, but we can't have just any old tramp--
-Ahem!
-Homeless person staying in-- uh--
[music playing]
Hi.
I'm Graham.
-Please, allow me.
-No, I've got it!
-No, I've got it!
-No, let go.
-No, I'm sure I can--
-Let me!
[music playing]
[thump]
-So, Vlad, now we know the truth.
-Truth?
What truth?
-The werewolf hair.
I'm sorry you had to find out about your mother in that way.
-Oh, yeah.
-You defended the family honor, and you
know what this family means to me.
-Dad, I'm leaving.
-Right, cheerio.
-I'm not joking.
Either you let mum back or I'm walking.
-OK.
Oh, and Ingrid, close the door when you leave.
-Right, you've asked for it. I'm going to the Branaugh's.
At least I'll get some attention around there.
[clock ticking]
-[sigh]
There must be something in this house I can eat.
-Sorry you didn't like the carbonara.
-Ah.
Who's this, then?
-Oh, that's us at our wedding.
I bet you broke a few hearts when you got married.
-Actually, we never got married.
I couldn't see what was in it for me.
-It's a celebration of love and commitment.
-And if dad dies, mum gets everything.
-Robin!
-Robin.
[music playing]
-Excuse me.
-Really?
So if I was to marry Countie, for example,
and he happened to meet with a violent accident,
I'd get the castle.
-Yes, but it doesn't look like he'll marry you now, though,
does it?
[doorbell]
Oh, don't all rush at once.
-Chin up, Magda.
There are lots of people who'd give
their right arm to marry you.
-Well.
It's the neck I'm after.
INGRID: Mum!
-Ingrid!
What are you doing here?
-I've left dad.
From now on, I'm going to be living with you.
-Oh, wonderful.
-[snoring]
-Dad?
It's the middle of the night.
-Exactly.
Time for your next flying lesson.
VLAD: What?
-Go out, boy!
Fly!
Fly like the wind!
-But dad, I can't fly.
-But I gave you 10 pounds.
-All right.
I lied.
-Oh.
Oh, well.
Never mind.
'Night, Vladdy.
VLAD: Is that it?
Aren't you at least going to say you're disappointed?
-Well, how could I?
I mean, if it wasn't for you finding that-- that werewolf
hair, that cheating mother of yours
would still be here now, running her ice
cool fingers through my hair.
-You really love here, don't you?
-Love her?
Whatever gave you that idea?
'Night, Vlad.
[music playing]
-Ingrid!
-Yes, you can carry my bag.
-Sorry, I don't you want to carry your bag.
No, I'm just wondering what's your mum's favorite music?
I'm doing a compilation CD.
-What, for my mum?
-Sad, isn't it?
Do you think she'd like this?
-[screams]
-You all right, Ingrid?
-Yes!
-How's mum?
-What do you care?
-Well, I just hope she wasn't feeling too guilty.
You know, about the werewolf hair an so on.
-Mum's fine.
Sense her love.
-Really?
-What do you think?
[music playing]
ERIC: So there's your target, Agent Mole.
Go over there and get them talking.
Find out if the mother's arrived.
And remember, act normal.
-Huh!
Look who's taking.
-What's up with you?
-Nothing's up, apart from ketchup sandwiches again.
-So no twinges of guilt about the werewolf hair?
-No.
I definitely, definitely did the right thing.
It's just dad does seem really upset.
I mean, what if him and mum were meant to be together?
-Hey, dudes!
Mind if I join you?
-(TOGETHER) Yes.
-Thanks So I hear your mum's visiting.
-You heard wrong.
-Hey, Vlad, does your mum like slugs at all?
-Robin!
-Oh, right, yeah.
Mum's the word.
Absolutely.
But it's so cool having her living at ours.
-(TOGETHER) Robin!
-Really?
-No!
You sup with the devil and you'll become one, you--
[coughs]
You have any idea what was in that sandwich?
-Tomato ketchup.
And half a beetle!
Ugh!
-Come on, let's go.
-So it wasn't blood, then.
-Of course it wasn't blood.
-Maybe you're just not cut out for this, Jonno.
I mean, what have we learned from all that?
Nothing.
-Oh, so you knew Vlad's mum was living
round the Branaugh's house, did you?
-So it's true, then.
The Countess herself has come to town.
I think it's time we paid her a visit.
[music playing]
JONNO: Vermin Busters?
-Clever, eh?
-And you reckon we won't get recognized?
-No.
-Goodbye, Mr. Van Helsing.
-Right, that's it.
I'm going home.
-Jonno!
-No, dad!
You're just so embarrassing!
From now on, you're on your own.
Goodbye.
[doorbell]
-Good afternoon, madam.
Vermin Busters here.
I believe you may have some unwanted guests in your house.
-I beg your pardon?
-I'm here to exterminate all vermin.
-Vermin?
-Yes, vermin.
Pests!
Parasites!
[spraying] -No, I'm sorry.
I think you may have got the wrong house.
-[whispering] Behind you.
Vamp-- I mean, vermin.
Vermin!
-What?
Magda, you mean?
How dare you!
She may come from a different cultural heritage,
but that's no excuse for bigotry!
-But--
-I'm sorry about that, Magda.
-Call me for a free extermination.
-Good day, Mister Vermin Buster.
I'll put this rubbish straight in the bin.
-Actually, no.
I'll take that, thank you.
I may have some vermin of my own to attend to.
VLAD: So the twins aren't falling at your feet anymore?
I thought they really went for the whole vampire look.
-They do.
-So what's the problem, then?
-Mum is the problem.
I wish I'd never asked her to stay.
-Yeah, well, I did try and warn you she might be trouble.
-Trouble?
She's a selfish, heartless old witch.
And you know what?
I'm glad dad chucked her out.
-Really?
-Yeah.
She deserves everything she gets.
-So, if for example it turned out that I hadn't actually
found werewolf hair in the plug hole--
-Vlad, did you or did you not find
werewolf hair in the plug hole?
-Not as such.
No.
-You little maggot!
-Well, no, like you said, it's a good thing it happened.
She's bound to have left us sooner or later.
-But what if it had worked out this time?
We could have been happy together.
-I know, I messed up.
I'm sorry.
-Maybe there's a way we can fix it.
[music playing]
-Your father sent me this?
-You know, mum, I think he still loves you.
[squeak]
-Your mother sent me this?
Yikes, she must really hate me.
-No, dad, it's a token of affection.
-Well, if she thinks she can win me
over with some cheap bit of fluff--
[door opening]
-Darling, I'm sorry.
-No.
I'm sorry.
-Marry me.
[squeak]
-Marry you?
-Well, of course we don't want to rush things, but how are you
fixed for tomorrow night?
-I can't believe this.
Mum's going to stay forever.
It's like a fantastic dream.
-A nightmare, more like.
Vlad, wake up.
You're mum's up to something, I'm sure of it.
-Chloe, don't interfere.
It's my big day.
I mean, Vlad's big day.
-Now, how do I look?
-Cool.
-Darling, your phone.
It's, uh, Vermin Busters.
-Ah, yes.
The DJ.
-Vladdy!
Look at you.
-Vermin Busters?
-Um-hum.
-You're late.
-That's heavy.
MAGDA: Well, let's get on with it.
[organ music]
-It's 7 o'clock.
Where is she?
-Dad, relax.
It's going to be fine.
-Robin, listen!
We have to stop the wedding.
-Oh, give it a rest, Chloe.
-Magda is in league with Mr. Van Helsing.
She's going to marry the Count and then bump him off.
-Wow!
That's really evil.
And wrong, of course.
-So, after the ceremony, I will lure him upstairs.
You spring out, slay him, and the castle shall be mine.
-And what's to stop me form slaying you as well?
Hmm?
[thunder]
I'm joking, obviously.
I'll be upstairs.
-What are we going to do?
-There's only one thing to do.
Tell Vlad.
[wedding march]
-Vlad, hold my phone.
-We are gathered here today to witness
the joyless union between two vampires.
-Get off!
-(TOGETHER) Van Helsing!
[music playing]
-Is that you?
Dracula?
Skulking around in the dark like the dead rat you are.
[flapping]
Well.
Prepare to meet Van Helsing.
[yelling]
-You know, Vlad, I'd get that old sewage
chute blocked up if I were you.
-Yeah, someone can have a really bad accident.
Hey, Vlad, high five?
-Sorry, I don't see what's to celebrate, Robin.
-Well, we've beaten Van Helsing.
You're dad's safe.
-Safe to marry the woman who was trying to slay him.
I mean, what if she tries again?
-But this is what I've been saying all day.
You have to stop the wedding.
-How?
I can't tell dad about Van Helsing, can I?
He'll just move us all back to Transylvania.
-Well, what are you going to do?
-I don't know, Robin.
I just wish I'd never trusted my mum again.
[phone ringtone]
-And so, before we move on to the vows,
I must ask if any person knows any reason-- any reason
whatsoever-- why these two should not
be joined together in matrimony?
No one?
Are you sure?
-Stop the wedding!
She doesn't love you.
-Nonsense, Vlad.
Of course she loves me.
She sent me that ghastly animal to prove it.
-No, she didn't.
It was me and Ingrid.
-Shut it, Vlad!
-So the kids got us back together.
Who cares?
I still love you, darling.
-Ahh!
COUNT DRACULA: That's good enough for me.
Renfield, carry on!
-All right, fine.
But if she lives you, how come she
still getting calls from Patrick?
[beep]
PATRICK (ON VOICEMAIL): Hey, princess.
Wolfie here.
Just phoned to say good luck with getting
your hands on the castle.
Anyway, I'm just having my back waxed.
Ow!
I'll you tonight for a celebration.
[howling]
-What?
Some people have no sense of humor.
Come on, Ingrid.
Let's go to Monte Carlo.
-What, to live with you and Patrick?
No way.
I mean, dad might be a pain in the neck,
but at least he doesn't molt.
-Bye, mum.
-Bye, darlings.
I'll see you soon.
[music playing]
-How'd you get on?
Slay any vampires?
What happened to you?
-I nearly had him, Jonno.
I nearly slayed a vampire.
-Course you did.
-I did, I swear.
And the next time, I will triumph.
Believe me, Jonno, the name of Van Helsing
will be spread far and wide.
-Yeah, it's the smell of Van Helsing
that's spreading right now.
-Well, Vladdy, if it wasn't for you,
I'd be off on honeymoon now with that vile,
cold hearted, treacherous woman.
Why did you have to go and ruin it for me?
-Because, dad, she doesn't love you.
-Of course she doesn't love him.
She's a vampire, stupid.
-But it would have been so nice to have her back.
Oh, Magda!
Magda?
-No.
Renfield.
[screams]
[theme music]
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Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 3 "Mummy Returns"

3520 タグ追加 保存
Jeng-Lan Lee 2014 年 12 月 22 日 に公開
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