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[theme music]
-Morning, Zoltan.
-Indeed, it is, Master Vlad.
And in case you've forgotten, you don't do mornings.
You're a vampire.
-Not before I'm 16, I'm not.
Until then, I'm just a normal kid.
I could do all the other normal kids do.
-Turn me upside down and look for the batteries?
I'm going to school.
-But Master Vlad, it's not safe.
-Look, the only person who knows I'm a vampire is Robin.
And he's promised he won't tell a single soul.
-Well, don't come running in my direction
when you're named and shamed as the spawn of Dracula.
-Zoltan, relax.
It's going to be chilly.
I mean "cool."
That's what kids say around here, isn't it?
-Yeah, as in "isn't it cool we slayed the vampire?"
[bell tolls]
Flaming torches!
-Isn't it-- uh, OK, Master!
-Good morning, Renfield.
Hello, Robin.
You see?
Perfect fit.
-Yeah, those trousers really show off your ankles.
-So we all set?
-Yeah, just one problem--
-Hello, I'm Robin's mom, Elizabeth.
Ahh, nice.
-That's Mom's quiet way of saying "it needs a clean."
-Vlad, my man, is, uh, Ingrid around?
-(WHISPERS) Robin, are we expecting anyone else?
-(WHISPERS) It's not my fault.
They just followed me up here.
-(WHISPERS) Get them out of here quick before Dad hears them.
COUNT: Renfield!
Who's there?
-Um, might as well move along, shall we, folks?
-Going somewhere, Vlad?
-Yo, Ingrid.
-Aha, so you must be the famous Ingrid.
You've certainly made some fans in our house.
BOYS: Mom!
-Now, come on.
You better get dressed for school.
-You can't seriously think that I'm going to school.
-You don't have to go, but I want to.
Just don't tell Dad, OK?
-Sure, don't worry.
COUNT: Beelzebub's bunk brush!
I am trying to sleep!
What peasant dares knock at my palace of doom?
You must be Mister, uh--
-Mr. Count.
-I'm Elizabeth Branagh, your neighbor.
Welcome to our country.
It's wonderful to meet you. [sniffs] Oh,
my goodness, what is that smell?
I think it's coming from--
-Uh, the slime pit.
-Ooh, I think you may have a problem with your drains.
-My Graham's a plumber. I'll send him up to have a look.
Will send him with Vlad and Ingrid after school.
What school?
-Stokely Grammar.
-My children do not go to school.
-Oh, please, let me go, Dad.
How else am I going to make friends?
-Our kind don't need friends.
-Well, uh, now, come on, you lot, or we'll be late.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Count.
-See you.
-Well, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
-Here we are, son.
Stokely Grammar.
Fresh start for both of us.
-Dad, you are going to behave yourself at this school,
aren't you?
It's going to be really nice just
to stay in one place for more than a few months.
-Jono, I promised, didn't I?
And a Van Helsing never breaks his promise.
Blood and garlic!
It's a vampire.
JONATHAN: Dad, it's a boy in a cape.
-Morning, Mr. Van Helsing.
-Whew, morning, Headmistress.
Just doing my morning squats.
15 seconds into a brand-new school, and you've
already spotted the vampire.
-It's instinct, son.
I'm a vampire slayer.
-No, Dad.
You're a woodwork teacher.
COUNT: Vlad, it's a quarter past midnight.
Come on.
Get up.
-What do you mean?
I've been up all day.
-Then tough neck, sonny.
That's your choice, not mine.
Come, come.
Come look at this beautiful when, moonshine.
You can't just laze around in bed all night.
VLAD: You do realize I'm not yet a vampire, don't you?
I sleep at night.
I like garlic bread.
I want to go to school.
Just deal with it.
-Is this about the "friends" thing, hm?
Because I've been thinking about what you said earlier.
-You mean, you've changed your mind?
I can go to school?
-No, even better.
I'll be your friend.
-Thanks, Dad.
But I'd like some friends of my own age.
-I could teach all my wicked ways.
-I don't want to be an evil vampire.
I want to be an ordinary boy.
[thunder rumbling]
-You disappoint me.
-I'm sorry.
[bell tolls]
-If that's that Branagh woman again!
It's a breather!
With a metal horse!
-So you must be Vladimir and Ingrid.
-And you must be wearing that for charity.
-Oh, a freethinker.
Splendid stuff.
I'm Ms. Harker, your new headmistress.
-Good morning.
It's Mister--
-[grunts] Count.
-Mr. Count, that's right.
Now, I've had reports that children
haven't been placed in a school.
From whom?
-I'm afraid I can't say.
-Well, whoever it is, I shall crush them.
-Now, look.
I don't know where you hail from, Mr. Count.
But in our country, children are required to go to school.
And if you refuse to cooperate, well, they'll be taken away.
And how much would this service cost?
It wouldn't cost anything.
-Well, you can have her for a start.
I still have some hopes for the boy.
-Yeah, me, too.
I hope he'll get lost.
-Now, look, Mr. Count, it's quite simple.
Either you send the children to school,
or you will be taken to court.
"Taken to court."
I'm aquiver with fear.
And what, pray tell, is this so-called "court"?
-Oh, just the local equivalent of an angry peasant mob.
[mob yelling]
Vlad, Ingrid, get ready for school.
-(WHISPERS) Well, yes!
This is so embarrassing.
My first day at school, and I look like a freak.
So much for keeping a low profile.
-No, wait.
I have a little good luck present.
Now, these are a pair of ancient brooches
with the legendary Dracula coat of arms.
-Aw, wicked!
-So, Vladdy, my boy, this one's for you.
And Ingrid, it's such a shame you weren't a boy.
-You're a heartless, spiteful, self-centered bully.
And so am I, but you just can't see it!
-(WHISPERS) Shut the door!
That girl will be the death of me.
-I'll see you later, Dad.
-Ah, don't forget your cape!
-Dad, only a weirdo would wear a cape to school.
-Hi, Vlad.
-My boy is growing up, Renfield.
-Yoo-hoo, Mr. Count!
-Oh, please.
-I knew you'd change your mind about school.
Can't wait to get rid of them, eh?
I know the feeling.
Must dash.
See you soon.
-It's her, isn't it?
She must be the one who denounced me to the school.
-She must be punished, Master.
-Renfield, home.
We have work to do.
So this is school.
It's a bit like a prison, only sometimes people
escape from prison.
-Hey, cool.
Look at this.
Huh, my own private locker.
-Yeah, it's really not that exciting.
Just somewhere you can stash your games kit.
And in your case, of course, the blood of innocent victims.
-(WHISPERS) Robin.
-I'm only having a laugh.
-Please just keep your mouth shut, all right?
Remember, you're the only one who knows we're vampires.
I kind of like it to stay that way.
-Oh, hello.
I guess, Batman and Batman.
Hey, nice badge.
-Oh, um, it's nothing special.
-Absolutely nothing to do with vampires.
-Ignore him.
He thinks he's a vampire.
Robin actually believes that bloodsucking humans exist.
Sad, isn't it?
So what part of "keeping your mouth shut"
don't you understand?
[bangs locker]
-Vlad, your locker.
-So remember, no more getting distracted, all right?
-What do you mean "distracted"?
All right, I won't get distracted.
I was just going to tail him, Jono.
See where his locker is.
-For goodness sake, he's in my class!
His name is Robin Branagh.
And he's not a vampire.
-Ah, but how do you know?
-Because there's no such things as vamp--
KIDS: Ingrid, we love you!
[kids chatter]
Now, who's getting distracted, eh?
All right.
Settle down, please, class.
My name is Mr. Van Helsing.
And I'm here to help you turn "wood" into "could."
Now, apologies if it feels a bit cold in here this morning.
Apparently, there's a problem with the heaters.
Either that or there's an undead presence in the room.
[students snicker]
All right, those who haven't, get their books out, please.
And get into pairs.
And Branagh, put this rubbish away.
Just put that up there, please.
-What are you doing with my brooch?
-You left your locker open, so I--
---stole it?
I'm just keeping it safe.
I was protecting you.
-Give it back.
-Vlad, you're making a scene!
-Oy, you boys, stop that!
The rest of you, get on with your work, please.
And whose is this thing?
Oh, well, there's a surprise.
See me at lunchtime, Branagh.
-"I, the Prince of Darkness and the scourge of all men,
hereby declare a feud against the Branaghs.
I promise to destroy and utterly crush you
in the most gruesome and unspeakably evil ways possible.
Your sincerely, Count Dracula."
Don't you think it lacks the, uh, personal touch, hm?
Good point.
"PS, I shall drain all the fat from your cows."
-Oh, Sire.
Eloquent, Master.
I shall deliver it myself.
What are you doing, you cretin?
Now, deliver it.
-Master, it is done.
-Do you want me to get that?
-No, don't worry.
I've got it.
"Destroy-- crush-- gruesome-- drain."
Oh, it's from Mr. Count of the hill.
You know, I said I noticed bit of a smell.
-Oh, please.
Don't make me go up there again.
-Look, I know, his ways are a little eccentric.
He's a total nutter!
-Graham, just because their ways are a little bit different
doesn't mean we shouldn't try and make them feel welcome.
I'll get my things.
Here in Stokely?
The Dracula family coat of arms.
[door opens]
ROBIN: You wanted to see me?
-Well, Branagh, come in.
I've just been admiring this brooch of yours.
-I brought it in for history project.
But my dad made me promise to bring it straight back home.
It's a family heirloom.
-Your dad?
And where might your dad be now then, Branagh?
-Well, he's probably having a bite to eat back at the house,
-Oh, "a bite to eat," is it?
I know what your father does.
Feeding on the innocent.
Bleeding them dry.
-He's a plumber, yeah.
If that's what you mean.
-Oh, "a plumber."
I see.
Well, perhaps he'd like to come and have
a look at these heaters.
-I'm sure he would.
I'll give you his number.
Thank you.
-So can-- can I have my brooch back, please?
I'll give it to your father later.
[kids yelling]
-Hi, I'm Jona--
-Sorry, A-list only.
Yeah, back off, please, folks!
Thanks, Renfield.
-Ugh, spinach.
-Where's the brooch?
Can't you just tell your dad you lost it?
-Oh, yeah, if I want him to kill me.
-Well, that's all right.
You're dead already.
-Who's dead already?
Oh, I get it.
He's a vampire as well, right?
-Chloe, sh!
-Oops, sorry. Mustn't say it too loudly.
Don't scare the whole school of vampire.
It's all right.
You little runt!
You've got some nerve.
We bite you.
Not the other way around.
-Oh, so you're a vampire as well.
Well, that explains the hearse, the scary dad, the--
-What peasant dares knock at my palace of doom?
-It's all right.
Don't panic.
She just found a cockroach.
[kids scream]
-Chloe, please, I'm not going to hurt you.
-Get back, or I'll knock, you freak!
-I'm not a freak.
Look, you've got to trust me.
I'm just a normal kid like your Robin.
I mean, uh, I don't get my fangs until I'm 16.
-(SOFTLY) You've, um, got a bit of spinach.
-Oh, thanks.
-Yes, can I help you?
-Um, nothing, Miss.
-Well, run along then.
We have a cockroach outbreak at the canteen to deal with.
Thanks, Chloe.
-Look, I don't understand.
Shouldn't you be in Transylvania?
-Close encounter with an angry peasant mob.
-And we've come here to keep a low profile.
Well, try not bringing your cape into school next time.
-There may not be a next time.
Dad will never let me come back now that Van
Helsing has confiscated my brooch.
-Well, we'll just have to get it back.
-I have already asked him, and he said no.
-Who said anything about asking?
-(WHISPERS) I see him, Master.
It's the Branagh male armed with a bit of stick and rubber.
-(WHISPERS) Out of the way, out of the way.
Well, that shouldn't be a match for the might of Count Dracula.
RENFIELD: (WHISPERS) You did say that
about the porcupine, Master.
COUNT: (WHISPERS) Oh, just let him in, Renfield.
[door creaks]
Ah, Branagh.
I take it you received my missive.
-Yes, I did.
Listen, next time, just pick up the phone.
I'll, um, give you my number.
Now, I have the power.
Oh, ooh.
-All right.
That'll teach these peasants to mess with Count Dracula.
GRAHAM: Ahh, there does seem to be a bit of a blockage.
-Mr. Van Helsing?
VAN HELSING: No, I said, "can you hear me?"
That's right. Can you hear me?
Good, good.
If you can come later this afternoon?
That's right.
So I'll see you in the woodwork room this afternoon, then?
We've done it, Jono.
The bloodsucker will be here at 4:00 PM.
-Uh, Dad, you promised me you weren't going to go after him.
-But I never said anything about his father, did I?
Now, stake, mallet, garlic, rope--
JONATHAN: All right.
Let's imagine his father really is a vampire,
maybe we should, I don't know, call the police.
And let them take all the glory?
No way.
This is our time, son.
This is our destiny.
We are the Van Helsings, vampire slayers.
-You're, uh, husband?
We haven't seen him at all.
[door creaks]
-Well, I think I found the cause of the blockage.
-Aww, Gertrude.
-You, the behemoth slime beast! GRAHAM: I beg your pardon?
I've just done you a favor.
COUNT: A favor?
We're supposed to be having a feud!
-Sorry, have we done something to offend you, Mr. Count?
Apart from denouncing me to the school?
-Are you saying somebody reported you to the school?
-It was most certainly not me!
-Mm, mm.
-Oh, so I don't get to slaughter your livestock?
-OK, well, we'd, uh, love to stay and chat,
but I've got another appointment.
So I must dash.
-Yes, well, why don't we leave you the tray?
-I reckon you'd like that.
It's fruitcake.
[school bell rings]
-Oh, Vlad!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
We've got to get to the woodwork room.
-Because Mr. Van Helsing's a vampire slay--
-Hi, guys.
CHLOE AND ROBIN: Hi, Dad. -Just sorting out some heaters.
-Mr. Van Helsing's a vampire?
I heard him on the phone to your dad.
They're meeting in the woodwork room in exactly two minutes.
-Nice one, Chloe.
You almost had me there.
-Vlad's dad can't come out in the daylight.
-But Van Helsing is definitely meeting
someone who he thinks is a vampire.
-Walk, don't run.
I said walk!
ETA of the vampire, minus one minute.
--[sighs] There's no such things as vampires.
-Yes, there is.
And I can prove it.
Look, the Dracula family coat of arms.
So that's your proof?
-It's proof that the devious bloodsucker must have
snuck into the school and swapped it.
He's coming.
Into position.
That's an order!
Don't open the door!
The lot of you!
-I'm just here to look at some heaters.
-Oh, yes, Mr. Branagh.
That's through here.
-Oh, Headmistress.
Just the person.
So what did you think of our new burglar alarm of the day?
-Get me out of here!
-Mr. Van Helsing!
My office, now.
Both of you!
-I better get on with the heating.
Why don't the two of you bring Vlad back to the castle?
This boy lives in a castle?
GRAHAM: He's just moved here from Transylvania.
-Let's go.
-Transylvania, eh?
I look forward to meeting your father, Vlad.
-What do you mean we're going home?
-It's the neighbors, Ingrid, that are driving us
down with their good terms and nauseating favors.
-But you realize how popular I am at that school.
For the first time in my life, I actually exist!
Don't you care about my feelings at all?
-Oh, Ingrid, see, of course, I don't.
Now, pack your bags.
We're leaving at sunset.
-This is because Vlad told his little friends about us,
isn't it?
-I really don't think you should have said that, Ms. Ingrid.
-So you promise you won't tell anyone else that I'm a vampire?
BOTH: Cross my heart and hope to die.
-Which is sooner than you think.
[kids scream]
Now, which of you shall I start with first?
-Dad, stop.
-They know we're vampires!
They must be destroyed.
-We've discussed this.
Friends are not food.
-These are no friends!
Why, it was probably them who denounced me to the school!
-No, it wasn't, Dad!
-Well, who could have done it, then?
You double-crossed your own father?
You clever little fox.
Is that it?
He betrayed you!
-Mm, admirable cunning.
A true vampire, eh?
You know, this town seems to bring out the best in you, son.
-So we're staying?
Oh, excellent!
-Well, there's no need to leave just yet, I suppose.
I mean the locals may be annoyingly pleasant,
but at least, they're not-- well,
I don't know-- vampire slayers.
[theme music]


Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 2 "Dead-Ucation"

4537 タグ追加 保存
Jeng-Lan Lee 2014 年 12 月 22 日 に公開
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