WHAT'S GOING ON?

>>FIRST OF ALL, MATT, WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT

WE ARE ALL YOUR FRIENDS HERE.

>>HAS SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED?

DID THEY CANCEL DOWNTON ABBEY?

>>NO MATT. WE FOUND THIS IN YOUR CAR.

>>OH THANK GOODNESS!

I THOUGHT I LOST THAT!

>>SO, YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO PRETEND IT'S NOT YOURS?

>>SHOULD I?

>>MATT, WE OPENED IT.

>>OKAY.

>>AND WE SAW WHAT WAS INSIDE.

>>I ASSUMED THAT WHEN YOU SAID YOU OPENED IT.

>>WE FOUND NEEDLES AND DRUGS.

>>YES.

>>HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

>>SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER.

MATT, YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THIS-

"THIS INSULIN"?

>>OKAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU

GUYS DIDN'T KNOW THIS, BUT I HAVE DIABETES.

>>MATT, WE CAN'T HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSATION IF YOU'RE JUST

GOING TO MAKE UP WORDS.

>>DIABETES IS A REAL WORD.

IT'S A METABOLIC DISEASE.

>>OH YEAH, OKAY.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR "DISEASE".

YOU'RE AT SOME PARTY AND THE GUYS ARE

PASSING AROUND THE INSULIN.

AND YOU JUST CAN'T SAY NO.

>>HAVE YOU BEEN TO A PARTY?

THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

>>WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH THIS MATT.

YOU CAN BEAT THIS.

>>WELL, CURRENTLY THERE'S NO CURE.

>>I KNOW IT FEELS THAT WAY NOW, BUT YOU DON'T NEED

THIS TO BE HAPPY.

>>I AGREE.

I JUST NEED IT TO LIVE.

>>THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO FEEL ALIVE!

YOU CAN GET A NATURAL HIGHS.

HERE, HAVE THIS GIANT PIXIE STICK.

>>GUYS!

DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW DIABETES WORKS?

I NEED INSULIN TO REGULATE MY BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL.

LIKE RIGHT NOW, I HAD A LOT OF CARBS AT LUNCH,

SO I NEED TO TAKE SOME INSULIN TO BREAK DOWN THE

SUGARS OTHERWISE BAD THINGS WILL START TO HAPPEN TO ME.

>>YOU'RE JUST GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS.

>>YOU'RE TECHNICALLY RIGHT, BUT-

>>LOOK MATT. I KNOW THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY

"JONESING" FOR YOUR NEXT "FIX",

BUT YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT RIGHT NOW.

COLD TURKEY.

WE'VE ALREADY FLUSHED YOUR STASH.

>>WHAT?

GUYS!

I'M GOING TO GO INTO KETOACIDOSIS.

>>AGAIN WITH THE WORDS MATT.

YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THINGS!

>>HEY, DON'T YOU WORRY BUDDY.

WE'RE GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU

DON'T CALL YOUR DEALER.

>>YOU MEAN A PHARMACIST?

>>SO THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING THEM THESE DAYS.

>>LOOK, IN A VERY REMOVED WAY I AM

GRATEFUL FOR YOUR CONCERN.

BUT, IN A MORE IMPORTANT AND LIFE THREATENING WAY,

I AM VERY UPSET WITH YOU GUYS.

YOU'RE COMPLETELY IGNORANT ABOUT A VERY PREVALENT DISEASE.

>>WAIT, WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CALL?

ARE YOU TRYING TO SCORE SOME INSULIN FROM YOUR PHARMACIST?

>>NO, I'M CALLING AN AMBULANCE.

BECAUSE I'M GOING TO NEED ONE SOON.

>>WHY?

>>BECAUSE MY PANCREAS DOESN'T MAKE INSULIN.

>>WE KNOW MATT.

THE PANCREAS IS A USELESS ORGAN.

>>YOU'RE THINKING OF THE APPENDIX.

>>NO, THE APPENDIX IS THE THING AT THE BACK OF TEXTBOOKS.

>>I'M GOING TO FREAK OUT.

>>OKAY LISTEN, WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE ANGRY,

BUT WE LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU DO THIS!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS TAKE INSULIN.

[PHONE RINGS]

>>9-1-1 EMERGENCY.

>>YES, HI.

I NEED PARAMEDICS TO COME WITH AN INSULIN SHOT BECAUSE MY

WELL-MEANING FRIENDS DIDN'T KNOW I HAVE DIABETES AND THEY FLUSHED

MY INSULIN DOWN THE TOILET.

>>SIR, WE CAN'T HELP YOU IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE UP WORDS.

DID YOU LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT DIABETES FROM THAT SKETCH?

IF YOU ANSWERED "NO," YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS THING AGAIN.

GO ON. GIT. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST HERE TO LAUGH.

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