Let's talk about that.

♪ (theme music) ♪

Good Mythical Morning.

Now, as much as I love our job,

I'll be the first to admit that it's a weird job.

- It's a little weird. - What we're doing right now

that you're consuming, is weird. I've gone so far as to...

well, maybe not lie, but I'll go to a family reunion,

- and people like, "What--" - "Maybe I've lied."

"...what is it you do?" and I'll be like,

- "Nothin' really." - Garbage man.

I just don't even want to explain it, because it's weird and then it's like,

"Well, how do you make money? How do you feed those kids?"

- Right. - "How do you..."

"You actually entertain people? Does that... really though?"

- (Rhett) Mhm. - "Really?"

But I've been encouraged to rustle up some odder jobs, and not like,

(southern accent) "Oh, pick up sticks and do some odd jobs,

and I'll give you some cash," but weird jobs.

- Weird jobs. Yeah. - Weird jobs, not like

my grandad would pay me to do odd jobs.

I've got 10 weird jobs. Unbelievable jobs.

Some of the time if you feel that way, you're gonna feel right

because they're not believable. I made 'em up.

- Okay, so some of them, - Or maybe they are believable.

some of them are real, I gotta tell you whether they're real or fake.

- That's right, Rhett. - And what's at stake?

What's at stake is doing the worst job here in our studio:

clean the scary bathroom toilet.

- We've got a toilet: never been used - That's never been cleaned.

- by us because it's so scary. - Does it even work?

And you're gonna have to clean it if you don't get six right.

- If you get more than six right, - Yeah, I will.

- I have to clean the scary toilet. - (forced laughter) Okay.

All right, you ready to learn about some weird jobs?

- Get your brush ready, Link .- Good.

Underarm Odour Assessor:

a professional smeller whose job it is to sniff human armpits

and document how bad it is.

This is definitely real.

- What makes you say that? - Uh...

because I'm "edumacated", man. I seen this before.

- You've seen this one? - I've seen people that do this, yeah.

- Like what? - My ex-girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend.

- What? - I didn't tell you about this?

She sniffed your armpits and you paid her?

(laughing)

No, she... but I do know that this exists.

But my ex-girlfriend, if you're watching, I know you didn't do this.

It is real. (correct ding)

Works on research and development for

- deodorant brands. - Deodorant brands.

So it starts-- that is not what you were thinking, though!

- It does make sense. - No, it was. It was.

Here's a quote from a woman who does it.

(Link in a female voice) "When I sniff an underarm,

I am testing for the level of odor, the type of odor,

and also if the armpit hair is shaped like a cartoon or a celebrity's face."

- I made up the last part. - Yeah, I figured.

Or like a horseshoe. I've had it in a horseshoe before.

- Oh, the armpit hair. - Yeah.

Here's another one. Real or fake weird job?

Dedicated Balloon Popper.

Now, at Disneyland they've been selling balloons at the park since '55,

one of the most popular items. Any extra balloons left over

when the park is closed, because of environmental reasons,

they have to pop, and there is a cast member who pops the balloons.

Yeah, a cast member, yeah yeah (mumbling)

False! That's not a real job.

You just deflate and reinflate the next day.

Defla... can you be right for the wrong reason?

Because that doesn't seem fair. I give you half a point. You're correct.

No! You can't give me half a point! I got it right!

All right, I'll give you a point. (correct ding)

It's false, but your reason is stupid.

There is someone whose job it is dedicated to blow up the balloons.

- A balloon blower? - A balloon blower-up-er.

Yeah, it's called helium tank man.

There is not a job for someone to pop them.

Right, they just sell them the next day.

(stammering) Don't act like you know things you don't know.

Just be gracious and be like, "Oh, thanks for teaching me stuff."

I'm two for two and you're gonna clean the toilet!

You're gettin' lucky!

- Dog Food Taster. - (clears throat)

Pet's can't say if their pet food tastes good,

so there are people whose job it is to eat said pet food

to make sure it's good enough for said pets.

Wow.

This seems so logical.

I'm gonna say it's true.

- It IS true. You're just a good guesser. - (laughing)

Mark Gooley. He owns a dog and horse food company,

- Yeah, he does. Mark! - Huds and Toke.

They don't make food out of dogs and horses,

they feed dogs and horses.

And he taste tests doggie dental sticks, chewy bones, and liver mixture.

Quote, (southern accent) "If you wouldn't put it in yer mouth,

don't you dare expect yer dog to eat it."

You would think a guy that makes dog food for a living talks that way?

Probably not. I'm sorry, Mark Gooley.

- I'm a fan. - Yes.

- I actually like to eat dog food - I heard about this.

- with cere-- with milk. "Meelk." - "Meelk."

(female southern accent) "I like that meelk on my dog food."

People-onto-Train Pushers.

There are people, would you believe, who push people onto crowded trains

during the morning and evening rush hours in Tokyo.

They might push on you anywhere on your body,

but they do at least wear white gloves.

Uh... the fact that you said...

- Oh, did you say Tokyo? - I did.

Whaaaaaaat!

And then you said it.

- I don't say it when I say it. - Okay.

The fact that you said Tokyo makes me know that you aren't...

This is real.

Anything goes in Tokyo. That's why I want to go there.

(both laughing)

- You're good at this. Real. - Ha ha, yeah! (correct ding)

But listen. This is... When I saw this video,

I could not believe it.

(Link) They're called passenger arrangement staff,

- and they jam people into the cars. - (Rhett) Yeah, they do.

(Link) I mean, there's like eight people outside of a car and they start pushing.

No one can get in, and then like three minutes later,

all of those people are in,

and they've been touched everywhere by people in white gloves.

Yeah, white gloves. You can touch anybody with a white glove.

Absolutely amazing. In Tokyo.

Whaaaaaaat! - (Link) Shinjuku station.

Salad Inspector.

The Bloomington Bay Inn in London is world-renowned for serving

what is according to Mechelin the world's greatest salad on Earth.

The salad inspector inspects every salad before it leaves the kitchen

to ensure it meets the Bloomington standard.

Real.

- Wrong! (incorrect buzzer) - Aw!

False. How hard is it to make a good salad?

I mean, plus the Bloomington Bay Inn isn't real either.

- It's all made up? - I made up the whole thing,

but I will go on vacation there.

It seemed so not weird.

Fun fake fact: Bloomington Bay Inn is nowhere near a bay

- or any body of water. - Okay.

Professional Hitchhiker.

(southern accent) Li'l Hitchhiker.

In Indonesia there is an actual demand for "car-panionship."

Pick up somebody before you get on the interstate,

but it's not a favor: you pay them,

enjoy conversation all the way to the office.

Don't read my notes here. The answer's not here,

- so he's not cheating, - I know that, yeah.

but he's reading along. There's no need to do that.

- Just look into your brain - You pay them...

- to see if I'm lying. - You pay them?

- Professional Hitchhiker. - This can't be real. False.

- It IS real. (incorrect buzzer) - Oh!

Listen, there's 30 million plus people in Jakarta, Indonesia,

and they have these carpool lanes called "three-in-one zones."

You've gotta have three people in your car.

Riders line up on the on-ramp, basically,

and professional hitchhikers get paid $7.50 a hour to ride

- so you can get to work earlier, but - You didn't explain that.

- You said it was for conversation. - No, they talk to people. You can...

You made it sound like it was paying for conversation.

- I said it was a professional hitchhiker. - Okay.

- I said "enjoy" conversation on your way to work.

- (Rhett unconvinced) Mhm... yeah, you... - I tricked you, you're bitter.

You can risk fines up to a million rupiah, that's 106 dollars,

- by doing this, though. - Oh, that rupiah doesn't go to far.

It is (through laughter) illegal.

Rent-a-Mourner.

For a fee, you can hire strangers to attend a funeral

and provide depressing wails and tears

to heighten the depressing atmosphere at your funeral.

Or you could be one of these. You could be paid

- to be sad for a stranger. - (Rhett) Hmm...

This seems like the kind of thing that somewhere,

someone would pay for. Uh...

But it also seems like the kind of thing that you'd make up,

so I'm gonna say, "False."

- (incorrect buzzer) Gah! - It's true.

Job's been around a long time, Africa, China, Middle East,

but also in the U.K. You can go to rentamourner.co.uk

(Link) and get strangers to show up at a funeral

to, uh, help round out the festivities.

- (Rhett sighs) - Coconut Safety Engineer.

As we have established, coconuts can kill you.

There's someone whose job it is

to protect you from those perilous falling death orbs.

Somebody to protect you from getting a coconut that falls on your head?

Coconut Safety Engineer.

"Safety Engineer?"

Oh, come on. I gotta say that that does not exist.

- It does exist. - (incorrect buzzer) Gosh!

Coconut safety engineers are hired by tropical resorts

who risk law suits if coconuts kill people.

- So they engineer whether--- - How many does he have right?

(Stevie) He has to get two more right.

- You've gotta get two right. - I got four right then four wrong.

- Imaginary Friend Consultant. - That's what just happened.

An Imaginary Friend Consultant works with kids to develop and nurture

their imaginary friends as both a diagnostic technique

and a therapeutic treatment.

I've lost heart, guys.

An Imaginary Friend Consultant?

Somebody who encourages this amongst children?

For diagnostics and therapeutic technique. It's a specialized therapist.

I just feel like kids do this kind of thing on their own.

- I'm gonna say that this-- - You lookin' for an answer

- over there on the ground? - No, I'm just...

You're like, "Please, someone tell me."

I'm gonna say that this is false.

- (correct ding) Yes! - That's right, it is false.

Keep hope alive!

The only thing imaginary about this one was I made it up.

Teddy Bear Repair Technician.

Wow, there's a lot on the line: a toilet.

When your beloved teddy gets torn up, a Teddy Bear Repair Technician

will sew Mr. Snuggles right up for ya.

Well, surely there's somebody that does this.

I mean, this has got to be a job somewhere.

This is the kind of thing that anybody...

If you buy a teddy bear from Build-A-Bear and it screws up, (stammering)

Stevie used to work there, she knows. You take it back there and they...

- (offscreen laughter) - They fix it up for you.

- I'm gonna say "Real." - Really?

- You hit the nail on the head! - Yes! (correct ding) Woo!

And that's right, Stevie does work there still.

- When she's not producing our show, - (clapping) Huh!

Stevie Levine works at Build-A-Bear at the Americana in Glendale.