Yeah, during these 10 years life has been just like many ups and downs and today I'm going to talk about it all like after the surgery complications Just how I decided on going through with the surgery like was I nervous like peeing being intimate everything Yeah, it's just like my 10 years anniversary of getting avajayjay a coochie.

この10年間、人生には山あり谷ありだったけど、今日はそのすべてを話そうと思う。手術の合併症の後とか、手術に踏み切った経緯とか、親密になることに緊張したとか、いろいろね。

Whatever you want to call it Anyways, 10 years ago.

とにかく、10年前のことだ。

I had my gender reassignment surgery bottom surgery sexual reassignment surgery Whatever you want to call it.

私は性別適合手術を受けた。

She has many names.

彼女には多くの名前がある。

She has many names So today I'm just going to talk about every personal detail of my life on the internet Yes, that's what I'm gonna do But before we get into all of those juicy details This video is actually in sponsorship with catch beauty and if you haven't heard about catch beauty before like where have you been?

でもその前に、このビデオはキャッチ・ビューティーのスポンサーになっているんだ。

I talk about them all the time.

私はいつもその話をしている。

I love them so freaking much What they mostly sell are IPL machines and if you're not in like entirely sure what the IPL machine is It's a little device to remove your unwanted body hair and facial hair and this has helped me so much in my transition I've used it for the last two years and it has helped me Feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin and it works and This is like an upgrade to the previous one So this is like stronger than ever before the previous one had only five levels and this one has like 10 Levels, so this one is definitely an upgrade and she hurts a little bit if you're like on the 10th level That's just like to be expected.

私は、彼らは主にIPLマシンであり、あなたがIPLマシンが何であるかを完全に理解していないような場合、それはあなたの不要な体毛や顔の毛を除去するための小さな装置であり、これは私の移行で私をとても助けてくれた 私は過去2年間それを使用しており、それは私が自分の肌でより快適に感じる助けとなっており、それが動作し、これは、以前のものよりもアップグレードのようなものです だからこれは、これまで以上に強力であるようなものです 以前のものは5つのレベルしかなかったが、これは10レベルのようなものを持っています、だから

It's just like a little pinch nothing to be Alarmed about and also you don't need to like use the 10th level You will see result even if you're on the fifth level.

ちょっとつまむだけで、何も心配することはないし、10レベルも使う必要はない。

It's just going to take a little bit more time Definitely.

ただ、もう少し時間がかかるのは確かだ。

I definitely recommend it as I said, I've used it for like two years and I can see results Obviously, I started seeing results only after a few weeks So now I don't like I rarely use it anymore just because like it works If that makes sense You can use it in the comfort of your own home You can like take it with you and also something else I love about catch beauty as their incentive to help trans people on their Transition obviously can purchase their products.

私は2年間使っていて、結果を見ることができました。明らかに、私は数週間後に結果を見始めたので、今はもうほとんど使っていません。

Even if you're not trans.

トランスでなくても。

I've said this multiple times already but just if you're trans This is a great website to just check out they have makeup and like, you know other things specific for trans women and also IPL machines and they are so freaking great But if you're interested in checking them out, which I think you should I have a discount code for you I always have a discount code for you Matilda is my discount code and click the link in my top comment or in my description box top comment description box Discount code Matilda and get yourself one of these or something else on their website But now without further ado, let's get into the rest of my gender reassignment surgery So going through with my gender reassignment surgery I've kind of talked about this before what it meant to me and how important it was Like for me to do prior to me transitioning I had no experience in like being intimate with anyone and my gender dysphoria was off the roof I like I couldn't even like do anything myself I had trouble showering so it wasn't really an option for me to not go through with the surgery It was like kind of a life or not life choice, so yeah, I didn't really have an option and So going through with the surgery was definitely nerve-wracking But something I had to go through with to be myself and to live in like normal life Honestly, I've talked about this before that me going through with the surgery was manageable I mean the pain level was manageable and it wasn't as I expected I expected me to just like wake up screaming in pain and like agony like, you know dramatic I was like I was literally expecting Hollywood dramatics when waking up and that didn't happen when I woke up they asked me what like my pain level were and I Don't really remember exactly what I said I think I've talked about this before in some previous video closer to that date because I can't remember anymore But it's just what I'm trying to say was manageable it was hard It was difficult really difficult and I had a few complications on the hospital I've talked about this like pretty like briefly before it's just like a few things went wrong.

もしあなたがこのサイトをチェックしたいのなら、私はあなたのために割引コードを持っているはずだと思う、私の性別適合手術の続きに入ろう 性別適合手術に踏み切ったことについては、前にも話したことがあるけれど、それが私にとってどんな意味があったのか、どれだけ重要なことだったのか、移行する前の私にとって、誰かと親密になった経験もなかったし、性別違和は頂点に達していた、だから、手術に踏み切るのは確かに緊張したけど、自分らしく、普通の生活を送るためには、手術に踏み切らざるを得なかった 正直、前にも話したことがあるけど、

Nothing major just you know, it's a major surgery and you're there for a couple of You're there for like a week so Something is like bound to happen.

ただ、大きな手術だし、2、3週間もそこにいるんだから、何かが起こるのは当然だよ。

So it wasn't like anything major just yeah and I was on a lot of I was on a lot of drugs, uh and That made it more manageable Obviously like the worst things I experienced in the hospital was because of like them Um Like complications other than that.

だから、特に大きなことはなかったけど、たくさんの薬を飲んでいたし、そのおかげでなんとかなったんだ。

It was kind of easy-peasy.

簡単なことだよ。

I was on a lot of like strong medication and Like removing the packing inside of me and starting dilating was also very tough And if you're not really sure what dilation is I have other videos talking about that so you can just like check them out now like 10 years after I only dilate once a week and You can Obviously do other Activities instead of that dilation at this point the first year you you need to dilate a few times a day But now I can if I yeah, like, you know, just like change it up a little bit Yeah, and it's been crazy these 10 years being myself Not really Thinking about that part of my body anymore before I Was so disgusted by myself, but now I Remember when I got home from the hospital seeing myself like naked for the first time and even though I was like bruised up and It's just it felt like I could truly start living my life As Like as it was intended I've never looked back since I've never had a pinch of regret and that is one of the most common questions I get as well is like do you have any regret and I don't Like I do understand why people especially like cisgender people ask that question But also I can't really understand it like It's not like if you meet a person and they ever had like eye surgery You're not like the first question you ask is not like do you regret having your eye surgery?

もしダイレーションが何なのかよくわからないなら、他のビデオでダイレーションについて話しているから、それを見てほしい。最初の1年間は1日に数回ダイレーションする必要があったけど、今はダイレーションの代わりに他のアクティビティをすることもできる、この10年間、自分の体の一部について深く考えることがなかった、でも今は、病院から帰ってきて、初めて自分の裸を見たときのことを覚えている。特にシスジェンダーの人たちがなぜそんな質問をするのかは理解できるけど、僕には理解できないんだ。

Like was it painful like I don't really understand that Sentiment of like asking people such personal questions about their transition and how how they identify.

自分の変遷やアイデンティティのあり方について個人的な質問をするような感覚は理解できない。

I Will never really Understand that but I think it's due to all media outlets.

私はそれを理解したことはないが、すべてのメディアのせいだと思う。

It's not really showing the truth of Like transgender people like we don't regret it.

私たちが後悔していないように、トランスジェンダーの人たちのような本当の姿を見せることはない。

It's really rare.

本当に珍しい。

But anyways, this video is not about that.

でも、とにかく、このビデオはそれについてではない。

It's about Me being my true self.

それは私が本当の自分であること。

So yeah, just like me getting a coochie designer taco was honestly The best thing I've ever done and It has like Over the years there has been a few complications I've had a true revisions and I don't keep that a secret.

そうそう、僕がクーチー・デザイナーのタコスを手に入れたように、正直、今までで最高のことだった。

I talk about that I haven't I've had two revisions the first revision I had a year after the surgery and that is pretty common or especially like ten years ago.

私は手術後1年経ってから2回の再手術を受けたが、これはよくあることで、特に10年前はそうだった。

I don't know How would it like how everything works now?

どうなんだろう？

But ten years ago was it was pretty common to have it like a revision since it is major surgery It's very difficult to deter like predetermine.

しかし、10年前は、大きな手術なので、再手術をするのが一般的でした。

Oh, how do you put it?

ああ、何て言うんだ？

Like it's very difficult for the doctor to know exactly how the end results will look like So they give you like free revision or is that like it?

最終的な仕上がりがどうなるのか、医師が正確に把握するのは難しい。

That's how it worked here in Sweden ten years ago.

ここスウェーデンでも10年前はそうだった。

So the first revision I got I got one year After having the surgery and then I had another revision maybe a year ago Due to me having trouble like urinating So yeah And that is also something a lot of people ask me about like how did it felt peeing for the first time and honestly it Felt really really weird.

最初の再手術は手術から1年後に受けたんだけど、その後、排尿に問題があって1年前に再手術を受けたんだ。

It felt very Different Now obviously me peeing feels normal But I remember like peeing for the first time after the surgery and it felt really different It felt like the pee just like I released and then it was just like out of me like didn't take Sometime like yeah Anyways, it felt different.

でも、手術後初めておしっこをしたときの感覚は本当に違った。

That's what I'm trying to say.

それが言いたかったんだ。

But what this video is about It's more a celebration to celebrate my VJ day to celebrate me becoming my true self and celebrating my Transition it's not So much about like me like answering questions, it's just I wanted to make this video because this Milestone is very important.

でも、このビデオは、VJの日を祝うというより、本当の自分になったことを祝い、私の変遷を祝うもので、質問に答えるような私のようなものではなく、このマイルストーンがとても重要なので、このビデオを作りたかっただけなんだ。

And when I transitioned when I transitioned back in like, what was it like?

そして、私がトランジションしたとき、どんな感じだった？

2013 like there weren't many people With YouTube channels about this.

2013年、この件に関するYouTubeチャンネルを持つ人はあまりいなかったようだ。

It was like tik-tok didn't exist and Instagram was not about Trans people it was more about like showing off like your tumblr lifestyle, so I didn't really have someone to Look up to I didn't really have anyone that had gone through with the surgery and been happy and that's That's why I make this video.

Tik-tokは存在しなかったし、InstagramはTransのためのものではなく、Tumblrのようなライフスタイルを見せるためのものだった。

I'm creating this video as like nod like I Don't want to say that I'm like an inspiration but what I what I'm trying to say is like I'm trying to show you that life is Can be great like life can Happen for trans people as well Like we're not forced to live in the prison of our old bodies for the rest of our lives Like it can be better and for me it did like everything me having that surgery was such a life-changing decision and I would never Take it away, even if I ended up having to have like one revision every year I would still go through with it in order to be myself.

このビデオは、私がインスピレーションのような存在だとは言いたくないけど、私が言いたいのは、トランスの人たちにも人生は起こりうるということ、たとえ、毎年1回ずつ再手術を受けることになったとしても、私は自分らしくあるために手術を受けるわ。

That's just like the truth I would never go back.

それはまるで真実のようだ。

I could never go back.

もう二度と戻れない。

It's not possible.

それは不可能だ。

It changed the course of my life forever and It made me so much more comfortable in my own skin and it doesn't matter what anyone says I know that it looks normal I know like every woman out there looks different down there and for me, it's not different I am different.

誰に何を言われようと、私はそれが普通に見えることを知っている。

We're all different.

僕らはみんな違うんだ。

We're all unique and It looks normal.

私たちはみんな個性的で、それが普通に見える。

It looks like a real The JJ because because it is like it is the JJ being comfortable Going into a locker room.

まるでJJがロッカールームに入っていくように見えるからだ。

I mean, I'm I'm never going to be comfortable in the locker room.

つまり、ロッカールームで快適に過ごすことはできないんだ。

I hate locker rooms I hate I hate showering in front of other people what I'm trying to say is like that was Impossible, even though it's uncomfortable still like I can go through with it and no one is like looking Weirdly at me and no one is they don't know I can like go through life as a cis Passing transgender person and just like be myself I don't have to think about that part of my body as I said, and the first time I was in Intimate with someone it that was such a normal experience for me, you know Undressing for the first time in front of another person.

ロッカールームは嫌いだし、人前でシャワーを浴びるのも嫌だ、初めて誰かと親密になったとき、それは私にとってごく普通の体験だった。

It's kind of a human To feel that naked and not naked in the sense of being naked But just like showing yourself to someone else that is such like a human experience and I never thought that I would have that But I did it was not horrible.

裸になるという意味での裸ではなく、誰かに自分を見せるような、そんな人間的な体験だ。

It wasn't like Painful or anything like that Obviously, you know, the first time is not like the prettiest one.

もちろん、初めてというのは一番きれいなものとは違う。

Like it's not like cute.

カワイイなんてもんじゃない。

I mean she's not doing cutie but it's just what I'm trying to say is like Having the surgery made me feel like I could have normal human experiences And I was not the odd one out.

彼女はカワイイとは言えないけど、私が言いたいのは、手術を受けたことで、普通の人間らしい体験ができるようになった。

I was not different even though we're all different I didn't feel and I don't feel very different in my everyday life.

私たちはみんな違うのに、私は変わらなかった。私は日常生活であまり違いを感じなかったし、感じない。

And that surgery was a big part of that just helping me go through life and having normal human experiences and not having to think about What I like who I was born as or whatever like it I can just be me if that makes sense Anyways, I think those all thank you so much for watching and don't forget to check out catch beauty They definitely work and use my discount code Matilda and click the link top comment description box But yeah, thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next one.

そしてその手術は、私が人生を歩むのを助け、普通の人間としての経験をするのを助けるだけでなく、私がどんな人間として生まれたかとか、そんなことを考える必要がない。

Bye guys

さようなら、みんな