Claire!

Phil!

Stand by.

Hey.

What, did you get your belt stuck?

I did, yeah.

Well, take your coat off.

Here, let me help you.

No, no, Dad, Dad.

Come on.

What, are you naked under there?

Oh, jeez.

Mitchell, there's a stranger in our hot tub.

Who is it?

You do know what stranger means, don't you?

Oh, my god.

How long has he been there?

I saw him exactly one second before you.

You know everything I know.

OK, I'm calling 911.

I'm getting my bat.

Maybe we're overreacting.

Yeah, he could have a very good reason for it.

We should at least say hello.

It's only polite.

OK.

Phil?

Laura.

What are you doing?

Taking this?

Sign down.

I recognize your license plate.

This is ridiculous.

I know, they're all over the neighborhood.

What kind of lunatic does something like this?

Who knows?

It's probably some bored housewife who hates her husband and hates her life, so she takes it out on the rest of us.

Or things are so good at home, she's out looking for problems.

Trust me, this woman needs to get laid.

I don't think that's the issue.

Here, stick this up.

Send her a message from me.

OK.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh my gosh, what happened to my sign?

I don't know.

I put it up, I went away, I came back, it was in pieces.

This is so crazy.

Crazy!

Clara, this whole thing is crazy.

Maybe we should back off a little bit.

You know what, Phil?

No, I am not going to back off, OK?

I am doing this for the safety of our neighborhood.

Barry?

Yep.

Oh, hey, Cameron.

What are you doing in there?

I'm just tidying up a little bit.

What's up?

Are you living in our daughter's princess castle?

What?

No, don't be ridiculous.

I'm living in here, man.

Sleeping in there.

You said you had just moved in upstairs.

No, I said I just moved in.

I'm sorry, I thought it was implied.

That you're living in a dollhouse?

OK, let's not do this outside, all right?

You want to go inside and talk about this like two adults?

Yes.

Let's do that.

No, no.

It's OK, I just cleaned up.

Ugh.

Come on in.

Ow!

Oh!

Ow!

Barry?

Oh.

Get away, get away, get away!

Mitchell, call 911!

What's happening?

Barry's a nut!

He's been living in Lily's castle!

Ouch!

Hey, Mitchell!

Oh my god, I thought he was living upstairs.

Just call the police.

You want me to stop and give you the whole story?

I never, I never said upstairs.

Mitchell, call 911!

Stop teaching!

OK, just for the record, I was right.

I still don't think you should judge people!

I said get off me!

Honey, I think I'm just going to turn over his license plate to the police.

Police.

Order a pizza and call the cops.

We'll see who gets here first.

Luke, I am your father.

That takes me back to the delivery room.

That's what I said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parlor.

Oh my god, dad!

Mm-hmm.

Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw.

I take it you haven't had your conversation with Gloria yet?

It's getting worse.

She sang all the way here.

We passed two cars and the dog stuck their heads back inside the window.

I do renounce Satan.

I do renounce him.

And all his works.

I do renounce them.

Hey!

Hey!

And all his empty promises.

Oh my god!

Ah!

I do renounce them.

Godfather, is it your wish that this child be baptized?

It is.

It is.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Count them what, huh?

You think I'm a hothead like money?

No!

You can be emotional, volatile maybe.

Still, that's a far cry from me.

You put that on my house!

I get what you love!

Psycho.

Damn, this neighborhood's sweet.

Yeah, it's close to my work, too.

What is your line of work, Ronnie?

Well, I'm basically a doctor.

Oh, stop being modest.

He owns like a buttload of medical weed dispensaries.

Oh, that's where I know.

Hello?

It's a very competitive market.

Is there another buyer?

I really shouldn't say.

Oh, is this one of those realtor tricks?

No.

Where you're trying to get me to raise my offer?

Oh, no.

It's working.

All right.

I'll throw in another $50,000.

What?

That's a terrible idea.

I'm not losing the house.

I had the best sex of my life in there.

When?

So much fun.

We'll hear from you soon, huh?

You sure will.

Sooner than you think.

All right.

OK, bye!

Godspeed!

See ya!

Nailed it.

Oh!

Are they gone?

They are, but don't you worry.

We are going to see a lot more of those two soon.

Oh, and hearing from them even sooner, looks like someone didn't get their fill of Dunphy.

No.

What?

They pulled their offer.

Why? What happened?

You pervs probably freaked him out.

What do you mean, pervs?

It's short for perverts.

You guys were throwing yourselves at them all night long.

What can I say?

That's shoe business.

No!

Whoa!

No guns allowed in this house.

Let's off that top, Lisa.

Let's top that off, Lisa.

So this has been fun.

It'll be even more fun when you guys move in.

Well, even if we raise our offer, who knows if we'll get the house.

Fortunately, you are getting into bed with the right people.

Nothing inappropriate, of course.

Wink, wink.

Just so there's no misunderstanding, we want you.

Why didn't you stop us?

Yeah, I don't know what you guys are into.

Oh my god, what are we going to do?

Oh, relax.

I'm sure you guys will find a couple that wants to get with you.

Hey, neighbors.

I made you some banana bread.

Hey, I love banana bread.

We have this at our dispensary, except we got weed in it.

Oh, but we could give this one to our kids as a trick.

This boat is really something.

You know what we call her?

Jackpot!

Because you sell pot.

Holy cow, we never thought of that.

This is the best day of my life.

Permission to come aboard and check her out.

Yeah!

Come on!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

That's not part of the routine!

No!

Oh!

Wah-wah!

She's a natural.

Do it again.

Oh, poor thing.

She has to take the bus.

Let's hope for her to arrive.

Yes, yes.

Am I seeing auntie?

She lied to us.

Sigala!

Sigala!

No, that means follow her.

I didn't feel like going to my grandpa's house that Sunday, so I pretended to have a cold.

Wouldn't you know it, a few days later.

Oh, no.

Yep.

I got a cold.

I thought it was karma, so I hopped on my bike and I rode straight to my grandpa's.

I climbed in his lap, and I hugged him so hard.

We even shared an ice cream cone.

It's a memory I'll always cherish, because in a crazy coincidence, he got a cold, too, and was dead within a week.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Zdravstvoj.

Shudduh hudsh.

Every day, I take Joe to a park in a Russian neighborhood.

We like it there.

I have picked up a few phrases that the Russian nannies tell to the Russian kids.

The exchange is over.

What?

You're just a bunch of kids.

Do you think she's for real?

Any woman who looks like that speaks Russian perfectly.

I'll tell her to go to hell.

She probably knows a butcher.

I'm sure we can come up with something.

You want to go to hell?

Oh, please, not my hands.

Not my hands, I beg you.

Grandpa?

Oh, jeez, I knew I should have run that yellow.

Where's your shirt?

Mrs. Braithwaite wanted me to move some boxes and told me to take it off so it didn't get dirty.

But I kind of feel dirty anyway.

Grab your shirt.

We're leaving.

Luke, let's get those dirty, tight pants in the wash.

Oh, hello.

How are you?

I'm here to pick up my barely legal grandson.

I recognize you from the club, right?

You're the one fighting that silly new cigar rule.

Excuse me?

Where'd you get that?

I'm sorry.

Excuse me?

Where'd you put my shirt?

Give us a minute, kid.

It is a dumb rule, isn't it?

It's terrible.

My late husband loved smoking in the main lodge.

Is that whose cologne you made me put on?

Hey, boxes, right?

I've got a petition here.

I want you to read it quick.